CF Neigbour Using Hot Tub

[grandmabrown]

Summer 2022 we suspect someone was using our garden while we were out as things began to move and on occasions the hot tub appeared used. We didn't think too much of it to be honest, with teenage children (who denied using it) things do often move and we were busy so didnt give it too much thought. Looking back now though that is when things started happening. Earlier in 2024 we went away and, upon return, a friend commented that she had popped round on her way past, nobody answered the door, she heard noises in the back garden and had come in through the side gate. There greeted by a family, using our hot tub and garden, who told her we had gone to X location and would be back on X date (both details correct), they were watching the house for us. When we got back we were baffled, asked around, nobody knew anything. We are part of a neighbourhood watch whatsapp group. We all keep an eye on each others cars and houses when away and update one another if we see anyone acting strange hanging round or any crime. We asked on this group and nobody had seen anything but one of the group members helped my husband to install security cameras and a ring doorbell and nothing has happened since.

Fast forward to now, my street-neighbour, lets call her Helen (as this is her name), and I have always been on a smile and wave basis. I only know her families names from the Christmas cards we send/receive. Recently Helen has been acting off towards me and I appear to be annoying her by existing. She will sigh if she sees me and I have caught her on more than one occasion glaring across at me and pointing at my house while talking. I have become sick of this and asked another neighbour, who I am friendly with, what was going on. Neutral neighbour seemed very awkward and said she didn't want to stir the pot or tell tales. Eventually she said Helen was annoyed at me as I had promised her use of my garden and hot tub for her sons birthday/end of term party but had revoked it and "caused a scene" about intruders, which she know was aimed at her, on the neighbourhood Whatsapp. Apparently the party was due to be when we are on holiday and I had said if she kept an eye on the house they could have full run of the garden but changed my mind, leaving her son with nowhere to host and all his friends thinking the party is going ahead. Helen said we have had this arrangement before and she does not understand why I am changing it now. This is not true. At all. I have never had a conversation with her, let alone offered to host a party for her. I checked with DH & DC and nobody has spoken to them or said they can use our property to host.

I have a million questions for her but don't know where to start. Obviously I now believe they were the family using our garden and it explains how she knew locations and return dates of our holidays. I do not know how to approach this or what to ask. Surely they will deny it. But the outright lie she has told our neighbour is harder to deny. What do I do? There is no way they are using my garden but now I am also worried that, when we go away, our garden may be used. The cameras will alert us on our phones and we can ring the police but I would really rather not cause a neighbour dispute and end up down that route. I am absolutely baffled by the audacity that someone would do this and then be mad about it, without ever even having a conversation with me.

Shame you added cameras fìrst though but you could always say theyre ' playing up' ɓut that youre going away such& such date & you know it will be safe in watsapps groups hands
Then sit back & wait to catch the CF's!

Of course it is! They are in someone else’s back garden without permission. Trespass isn’t illegal in England until you ask them to leave.. OP has clearly told them they can not use her property!
They are also Stealing from them! (Electricity) as presumably they’re not sitting in a cold hot tub with no bubbles or anything!!

OP clearly stated that the neighbours all know where and when each other are away as they watch out for each others houses and vehicles… so that is how Helen would have known!!
As for a teenage child promising use without OP’s knowledge… thats not feasible because Helen would’ve just owned up to using the hot tub and simply said ‘omg I’m so sorry, that was us, you Colin told my Jonathon that we could use it while you were away!! .. or even more reasonable she would’ve come straight over to OP’s and apologised and explained the misunderstanding!! Presumably she would also have asked whether or not OP had agreed to her using it for a party this summer!!
I wouldn’t put anything in a whats app chat, but I would 100% approach Helen and say that you suspect that it was her using your hot tub (give no further explanation of why you suspect this/don’t drop other neighbour in it!) This gives her the opportunity to either deny it, or confess.. if she says you have permission you can ask her exactly what she thinks you said because you’ve barely spoken in the past so why on earth would you give her over all the other neighbours permission to use something so expensive for free!! I would simply tell her that you’re happy to just forget it happened and move on but make it very clear that your property is off limits and for your own private use only! I would get a sign for your gate simply saying no trespassers and cut the supply of electricity etc to your hot tub. I would ask friends to ‘pop by’ to check on your house while you’re away.
Also I would record the conversation you have with Helen… so that if she denies using your pool you can show it to the other neighbour and squash all rumour that for some reason you gave permission to Helen then went back on your word!
If she continues to point and talk about you, then I’d send the recording to every single one of the neighbours privately so they all know that it’s Helen that is lying… but I’d give her the opportunity to own up and make things right first!!

She sounds mentally ill.

Any update @grandmabrown ? Have you confronted Helen, sent a message to the WA group or just biding your time?!

I think I'd want to contact her directly and ask about it. Awkward conversation yes, but you're hardly ruining a good friendship and what she's done is absolutely unforgivable. What a prick.

Drain the hot tub, turn off the power and get a lock for your back gate.
I’d be fuming if I were you!
in regards to addressing Helen, I’d pop by and say, “Hi Helen, I just wanted to pop by and clear the air because I think there’s been a misunderstanding about the use of our garden/hot tub whilst we’re away and I’ve heard you’re not very happy with me?”. Watch her jaw drop and her face go bright red and then let us know what comes out her mouth 🤣

This is perfect.

Yup-I think this a good ‘in’!

Put a message on the Whatsapp group stating there has been a misunderstanding & that a certain neighbour who has used your garden & hot tub in the past without permission has been telling others that you have gave permission for a party to be held & has now revoked permission. Explain that you have NEVER given permission for anyone to use your property at anytime & would appreciate it if the person telling these stories would stop spreading un true lies. If she approaches you tell her the same thing & ask her who gave her permission for the party as you & your husband know nothing about it.

Trigg's turned up...🙄😂

This is insane! Wow! The absolute CF!!!! We need an update op! Dont leave us hanging!

I am dying for an update 😫 blows my mind how unhinged people are!!

There's not going to be an update because it's a totally made up story! The OP hasn't been back in pages and pages of replies and questions!

Wow. This really makes me want to track down the Mexican house thief thread for a refresher 😅.

Any update OP?

Or you could just let it be known via the WA group you will be away for 3 days (over a weekend say) but return early (particularly if you have cameras & can see Helen making use of your hot tub) catch her in the act......

UPDATE

Sorry for the delay, I've had a bit of a week (non hot tub related).

Just to answer a few questions before I update;

Helen is not my direct neighbour, just same street. so "street-neighbour".

We put our holiday dates in the whatsapp group. Something all 10 houses in the cul-de-sac do, never had a problem before and we know to keep an eye on each others properties while away. Sometimes you even arrive home to bread and milk on your doorstep. It is a new build estate with, recently, quite a high crime rate. Wake up most days to reports of people trying car doors in the night or looking down driveways.

Teens are 15-20 but different school to her children and not friends. Never played out together when younger or even spoken, that I know of. Mine go to their clubs and activities and see friends out of our street. Not sociable teens. Extremely unlikely they are lying, plus surely Helen would have outed the fact she had permission the moment she realised we "aimed" comments at her in whatsapp.

So I had to wait a few days for DH to return home as im a coward who didnt want to go alone but we went to Helens house and spoke to her husband as she was out, despite her car being in. He was under the impression it was something me and Helen had agreed directly and openly admitted their family had used our hot tub. Seemed genuinely confused by the situation.

We returned a second time and spoke to Helen. She said they had used it and she did not see an issue as we were away. When directly asked when I had given her permission, as she claimed to mutual neighbour, she said she knew all of the other neighbours had permission to use it so thought it was an open invitation to everyone. Other neighbours do not have permission to use it. Even mutual friend has never been given permission as she has never asked, nor is it something I would randomly offer. I then asked about the party and she said she had never said anything to mutual neighbour about a party. She had said she felt the whatsapp message was targeted at her and did not understand why others were allowed to use it and not her family. She insinuated I thought I was better than her. Nobody has ever been given permission to use my garden while we are away. MIL checks on the house while we are away. Some neighbours have used the hot tub, while with us during summer (mostly children at BBQs). She said yes neighbours did use it with my permission while we were away and was angry I was targeting her family and had "called them out" on whatsapp. (No names were used on whatsapp as I did not know who it was at the time). When I asked her which neighbours she said I knew who and she would not name anyone directly. She proceeded to go in circles and every sentence just brought others into it and blamed me. We then informed her that she did not have permission to use our garden or belongings while away, we would be draining the hot tub and locking the gate. We reminded her about the cameras and informed her we would ring the police if we saw her on our property. We also said we would appreciate if she would stop talking shit to other neighbours about us or we would be forced to put a statement in the whatsapp group explaining the situation and it would be embarrassing for everyone involved. She said ok.

I told mutual neighbour, who insists she was told there was a party and stuck by every word of her story. I did not see the point of asking her to speak to CF as I feel CF would just continue to lie and mutual neighbour has already said she did not want to get involved.

Sorry its not a more exciting ending. We go away in the next few weeks and I will update once back!

Helen is clearly a VERY CF who has no shame and lies her tits off! Sounds like she’s jealous and feels very entitled

Omg Helen is unbelievable she should win CD of thw decade! Glad you both confronted her and made it clear, CF only get away with their behaviour when people don't call them out good for you OP if she continues to lie about you I'd tell all the neighbours name and shame her so they know what she's like.

Thank you for all your helpful comments. I have had a difficult week but have read the updates and comments. I was going to just put another whatsapp message up but the consensus on here appeared to be to confront her.

The odd thing is I feel it is unresolved. She still lied. She knows I have never given permission to people. Plus I have never been at an event with her (that I remember) so when would this have even happened. But I feel there is no way to get her to admit anything or catch her out, as she just brazenly lied and made herself the victim. I'm hoping that's the end of it for now but she still got away with it. Where before I never really looked twice at her I will now be taking a special interest in what she does and says to people. I am wondering if I am the only person she has tried this kind of behaviour with. Her DH did not appear to know anything nefarious had gone on so I believe she lied to him.

No doubt she has form for this sort or behaviour cheeky fuckers always do.

Get some cameras pointing at your back garden and side gate, and a secure gate with a pin pad!! Should send the message if anyone is tempted to trespass in future. Bizarre.

How did they get into your house/garden? I presume they didn’t have a key. How did they use the toilet if they needed a wee if they didn’t have a house key? It’s all very bizarre.

Is she a big drinker? Sounds like the kind of bright idea an exceptionally cheeky fucker might have while drunk. Let’s invade the neighbours’ hot tub, they’re away, I don’t care hahaha …

If you’re in new build with high crime, you’d be well advised to replace the locks on your house doors with better quality ones than are fitted as standard.