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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF Neigbour Using Hot Tub

425 replies

grandmabrown · 22/07/2024 17:10

Summer 2022 we suspect someone was using our garden while we were out as things began to move and on occasions the hot tub appeared used. We didn't think too much of it to be honest, with teenage children (who denied using it) things do often move and we were busy so didnt give it too much thought. Looking back now though that is when things started happening. Earlier in 2024 we went away and, upon return, a friend commented that she had popped round on her way past, nobody answered the door, she heard noises in the back garden and had come in through the side gate. There greeted by a family, using our hot tub and garden, who told her we had gone to X location and would be back on X date (both details correct), they were watching the house for us. When we got back we were baffled, asked around, nobody knew anything. We are part of a neighbourhood watch whatsapp group. We all keep an eye on each others cars and houses when away and update one another if we see anyone acting strange hanging round or any crime. We asked on this group and nobody had seen anything but one of the group members helped my husband to install security cameras and a ring doorbell and nothing has happened since.

Fast forward to now, my street-neighbour, lets call her Helen (as this is her name), and I have always been on a smile and wave basis. I only know her families names from the Christmas cards we send/receive. Recently Helen has been acting off towards me and I appear to be annoying her by existing. She will sigh if she sees me and I have caught her on more than one occasion glaring across at me and pointing at my house while talking. I have become sick of this and asked another neighbour, who I am friendly with, what was going on. Neutral neighbour seemed very awkward and said she didn't want to stir the pot or tell tales. Eventually she said Helen was annoyed at me as I had promised her use of my garden and hot tub for her sons birthday/end of term party but had revoked it and "caused a scene" about intruders, which she know was aimed at her, on the neighbourhood Whatsapp. Apparently the party was due to be when we are on holiday and I had said if she kept an eye on the house they could have full run of the garden but changed my mind, leaving her son with nowhere to host and all his friends thinking the party is going ahead. Helen said we have had this arrangement before and she does not understand why I am changing it now. This is not true. At all. I have never had a conversation with her, let alone offered to host a party for her. I checked with DH & DC and nobody has spoken to them or said they can use our property to host.

I have a million questions for her but don't know where to start. Obviously I now believe they were the family using our garden and it explains how she knew locations and return dates of our holidays. I do not know how to approach this or what to ask. Surely they will deny it. But the outright lie she has told our neighbour is harder to deny. What do I do? There is no way they are using my garden but now I am also worried that, when we go away, our garden may be used. The cameras will alert us on our phones and we can ring the police but I would really rather not cause a neighbour dispute and end up down that route. I am absolutely baffled by the audacity that someone would do this and then be mad about it, without ever even having a conversation with me.

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 22/07/2024 18:28

Scissorsisters · 22/07/2024 17:15

Lock your garden gate, unplug and drain the hot tub when you go away and don't give it another thought.
Your neighbour is a CF.

This.

Elle7 · 22/07/2024 18:28

come in @grandmabrown ….over

Mtlso · 22/07/2024 18:29

Why don’t you say that when cleaning the hot tub, you found a piece of jewellery in the hot tub and it doesn’t belong to you or any family member and put it on the what’s app group and see if she responds?

ApolloandDaphne · 22/07/2024 18:30

Wow. What a CF!

diddl · 22/07/2024 18:30

I must admit that a hot tub has never appealed to me.

Can't understand why anyone would want to use one when they don't know for sure who else has been in it!

WickedSerious · 22/07/2024 18:33

WearyAuldWumman · 22/07/2024 18:19

Yup. I've never owned one, but my first thought would have been "Yeuch! Other folk's germs!"

Flakes of Helen.

SlightlyJaded · 22/07/2024 18:33

bouncybouncingboobies · 22/07/2024 17:22

I’d update on street what app with a jolly message that says- Hi All, I heard a really funny rumour the other day- apparently I ‘rent out’ or ‘let’ people use my garden and hot pool. Just to clarify, this is not, never has been or ever will be the case. It’s our garden, not Thorpe Park! LOL

FCF- Fucking Cheeky Fucker!

Another vote for @bouncybouncingboobies It's perfect.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 22/07/2024 18:34

Thats a real CF winner there OP, as PP suggested lock the gate, drain the hot tub, and make sure everyone you know is aware you have never spoken to the woman let alone given her permission to use your garden!

Dreamwalker · 22/07/2024 18:34

I agree with the WhatsApp idea. It’s clear H isn’t someone who can take responsibility for her own actions, hence the lie/playing victim.
It keeps it neutral, doesn’t point fingers & shames her, so others will be reluctant to believe anything she says after that.
I’d then mention you’d never agree to such a thing because of the potential for it to go wrong & cause problems; you’d never loan anything that you couldn’t afford to lose without bad feeling & so generally live by the rule: 'never a borrower or lender be’, including hot-tubs.

Isittimeformynapyet · 22/07/2024 18:34

Poolstream · 22/07/2024 18:05

The best way to tackle this is to post that you are not insured for anyone to use the hot tub when you’re away.
It sends a message without being personal and gives a valid reason to say no.

OP has a valid reason to say no - she doesn't want them to!

"The best way" 🙄

viques · 22/07/2024 18:35

I would work out which fuse on your fuse box supplies the hot tub, then switch it off.

I would also secure the garden a bit better, make sure all gates are padlocked, sheds locked etc.

Ask neighbours on either side to keep an eye out, but I wouldn’t be letting every local burglar know you are away by announcing it on WhatsApp.

And I would be waving to Helen and blowing kisses every time I saw her.

MagentaRocks · 22/07/2024 18:36

macaroniandcheeze · 22/07/2024 17:38

Trespassing definitely is!

No it isn’t. But, they are in effect stealing services, using your electric etc so you can still report to police

WearyAuldWumman · 22/07/2024 18:36

WickedSerious · 22/07/2024 18:33

Flakes of Helen.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW.

And "Eew!"

CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 22/07/2024 18:36

When we got back we were baffled, asked around, nobody knew anything. We are part of a neighbourhood watch whatsapp group. We all keep an eye on each others cars and houses when away

Neighbourhood watch? What were they watching while Helen and family were annexing your garden?

usersuserse · 22/07/2024 18:36

I have questions!!

  1. How did she know the date you would be back and where you were going?That's v. specific information. I'm assuming you didn't announce that on your neighbourhood whatsapp so who had you told locally who knows her?
  2. How exactly are they getting into your garden?
Ezzee · 22/07/2024 18:38

MumChp · 22/07/2024 17:20

Same story on FB this morning. They put (an invisible) dye in the water (harmless) and the neighbours were done.

Tbh just say no. Her party is not your problem. Make suse to cut the water to the spa then you go on holiday.

Had they been running a airbnb?
https://lolitopia.com/2024/07/20/i-discovered-my-neighbors-had-been-covertly-using-my-hot-tub-for-a-year-i-gave-them-a-memorable-lesson/?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR14JXLPUQwCyCxoXIHmbnkMKbRRjLcrAJrhfw6pqRSuS7ojgEBzD3vZ1M8_aem_mLmNRx0KzQvN86j2AC3HFw#lyx9uvt3rt751joibo different names, was on FB today.

Riapia · 22/07/2024 18:38

Buy several sets of wind chimes.
It is well known on MN that neighbours cannot bear the sound of them.
Your neighbours will never come anywhere near your garden again.
😉😁😁

JackJarvisEsq · 22/07/2024 18:39

Clearly as this is MN the advice is to offer to reinstall the hot tub in Helen’s garden as her need is greater than yours 🤣

macaroniandcheeze · 22/07/2024 18:41

DontBiteTheCat · 22/07/2024 17:53

Trespassing isn’t a criminal matter, it’s a civil matter and the police will do nothing. I’m surprised at how many people aren’t aware of this

So if there are people on your property without permission, whether you’re there or not, the police won’t come and remove them? Seriously? That’s baffling.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 22/07/2024 18:41

I'd want to know what your useless next door neighbor's are doing while people are in your garden while you are away. Isn't that the point of neighborhood watch?

Noodlehen · 22/07/2024 18:43

I’m really confused if you don’t speak how she knew your exact holiday dates? And also why your garden wasn’t secure.

do you live in emmerdale?

Noodlehen · 22/07/2024 18:43

usersuserse · 22/07/2024 18:36

I have questions!!

  1. How did she know the date you would be back and where you were going?That's v. specific information. I'm assuming you didn't announce that on your neighbourhood whatsapp so who had you told locally who knows her?
  2. How exactly are they getting into your garden?

Just asked the same should have finished reading before posting

DoloresDelEriba · 22/07/2024 18:43

FinalCeleryScheme · 22/07/2024 17:32

Paragraphs. I beg you. Paragraphs.

🤣🤣🤣

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/07/2024 18:44

This is bizarre..

I can see someone sneaking about, some people have brass neck for miles..

But to pretend you'd made prior arrangements, said it was ok, and then get pissy about an imaginary revocation of those arrangements... thats bizarre.

Is there any possible way Helen has got hold of the wrong end of the stick here, that the conversation she thought she'd had with you was with someone else, that she is paraphrasing to neutral neighbour and actually it was her DH who said 'yes so and so said its ok to use... have party... etc'...

Or is Helen absolutely barking, fruit-loops, bat-shit crazy?

macaroniandcheeze · 22/07/2024 18:44

MagentaRocks · 22/07/2024 18:36

No it isn’t. But, they are in effect stealing services, using your electric etc so you can still report to police

I thought this too, they’re using your utilities. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to threaten the neighbour with police if they do it again, you can’t just let yourself into people’s gardens and use their electic.

Is that not breaking and entering too? Presumably OP “locked up” her garden to leave for the holiday, gate secured? It’s a stretch I know but if you’re going to leave a threatening note by the hot tub then I’d go with the harshest wording even if not legally accurate.

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