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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To blame DH for ringworm and jock itch?

142 replies

Lello452 · 11/03/2024 19:23

For some time now DH has had the most god awful smelly and sweaty feet, he won't see a professional about it but in the absence of a diagnosis it's highly likely to be athlete's foot as he has all of the symptoms.

He washes them daily which does jot all and he hasn't committed to a proper treatment regime. He has used some powder he bought online inconsistently, a few times here and there. The problem persists. He has to keep his sock laundry seperate to everybody else's clothes.. it's that bad. I have insisted he wears crocs around the house as the smell of his socks when he's not wearing shoes is just too much.

He's very embarrassed about it he says, but only where professionals are concerned. He's happy for me and DC to deal with the smell which he's almost nose blind to now so he thinks we're exaggerating. I will say, this aside, he's a clean person who showers daily.

A couple of weeks ago I developed what I'm now fairly certain was sodding jock itch on the skin around my groin, inner thigh crease. I'll spare you further details.

Now, today, I received a call from my child's teacher who thinks he's developing ringworm.

Unfamiliar with ringworm, I had to look it up, low and behold it's the same thing that causes athlete's foot and jock itch.

AIBU to think his feet are the source. He doesn't think so, of course.

OP posts:
nw80 · 11/03/2024 19:51

Is your DH using an antifungal to wash his socks (one designed for laundry)? Otherwise (even if it did go) he'll keep reinfecting himself. I wonder also about what other stuff you shouldn't share - like does he dry his feet with a towel then chuck in in your washing?
Good luck

Misthios · 11/03/2024 19:55

He doesn't need to see a professional, the over the counter stuff is very good for athlete's foot and fungal infections - Daktarin powder, Scholl sprays, Canesten... all available at supermarkets and Boots.

He does need to deal with it though, and keep treating it consistently until it's gone.

Dogdilemma2000 · 11/03/2024 19:55

You need to keep all your laundry separate and boil his socks.

Lello452 · 11/03/2024 19:57

nw80 · 11/03/2024 19:51

Is your DH using an antifungal to wash his socks (one designed for laundry)? Otherwise (even if it did go) he'll keep reinfecting himself. I wonder also about what other stuff you shouldn't share - like does he dry his feet with a towel then chuck in in your washing?
Good luck

He doesn't use any anti fungal no. I've been nagging him about it for so long but he always has excuses ready for why it won't work. He says he doesn't have the time to commit to washing his feet all day long and reapplying the cream. He says working nights is a barrier 🙄

He says he only uses one specific towel on his feet, but he does put that towel in with the normal laundry.

He's not very happy with me at the minute because apparently I'm treating him like a leper. I have said enough is enough and I want it sorting, now.

OP posts:
DodgeDoggie · 11/03/2024 19:57

He just needs to go to the chemist and buy some treatments

DodgeDoggie · 11/03/2024 19:58

Can’t he tag it onto his Bath time routine?

Lello452 · 11/03/2024 19:59

DodgeDoggie · 11/03/2024 19:57

He just needs to go to the chemist and buy some treatments

I know, it really is that simple isn't it?

He's too embarrassed he says. It won't work he says. He hasn't got time, etc etc.

OP posts:
Lello452 · 11/03/2024 19:59

DodgeDoggie · 11/03/2024 19:58

Can’t he tag it onto his Bath time routine?

He absolutely could. He showers every morning when he comes home from work. It's all just too much bother for him though.

OP posts:
lochmaree · 11/03/2024 20:00

there are some antifungal laundry detergents. Halo is fab but expensive. If you have a machine that let's you do a 'bubble soak' I'd also use that on anything suspect.

Concestor · 11/03/2024 20:01

I honestly think I'd ask him to move out if he won't deal with it. He's infected you and your son! And it's so easy to treat!

I really don't think I could put up with this. It's grim.

Lello452 · 11/03/2024 20:02

His feet literally erode his shoes! He'll get a new pair, rinse and repeat. The amount of socks he owns is crazy, so many pairs.

He regularly changes them and thinks that helps. It doesn't.

I'll ask him to put his crocs on as the smell is offensive and I'm trying to eat or whatever. He says they don't snell because he's washed them. They smell even after washing.

OP posts:
Lizziekisss · 11/03/2024 20:03

Socks and towels all need washing on 60c as that temperature kills the fungus. But the affected area needs treating with Lamisil or Daktarin etc. Aren't his feet sore?

Sprinkles211 · 11/03/2024 20:03

Can't you buy this stuff on amazon??

Saymyname28 · 11/03/2024 20:03

He claims that you and his son being infected with the same infection he isn't treating has nothing to do with the fact that he's not treating his infection... of the same thing that is infecting the rest of.his household.... mkay.
That's like one person having a coldsore. Using everyone else's cups, then claiming that everyone developing coldsores has nothing to do with them.

It is of course, absolutely repulsive. I wouldn't let him anywhere near me, imagine him having a bath and all that fungus going all over his body. I couldn't share a bed knowing that was being rubbed all over the sheets. Honestly I'd just be saying "is that how little respect you have for me, is that how worthless, how undesirable you think I am that I should have to live with someone who allows themself to smell like that, who infects his family with fungus because he can't be arsed to put powder on his feet everyday. Wow. I must mean so little to you."

Fuck that op, YANBU

moonfacer · 11/03/2024 20:04

I have this with my nephew. Can someone recommend something I can help him do? Will Daktacort help?

Due to sen, I can’t just leave him to it.

Lello452 · 11/03/2024 20:05

Thank you for the tips.

My worry is, I can do everything necessary to get rid of the fungus from me, DS and the linen but it's just going to keep coming back if he doesn't sort himself out 😔

Every so often the feet issue ends up being a heated discussion and all he takes away from it is that I'm treating him like a leper and he might aswell 'chop his feet off'

It's exhausting.

OP posts:
NowYouSee · 11/03/2024 20:07

“Embarrassment” eh? silly man it is hardly like announcing you have pubic lice in front of the whole of Boots.

Anyway You can get a one time treatment and as you can see literally via Amazon so no “embarrassment”

if he isn’t willing to do this ONCE, a 10 minute job then I don’t know what else to say.

https://amzn.eu/d/4qY9stJ

https://amzn.eu/d/4qY9stJ?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-am-i-being-unreasonable-5026360-to-blame-dh-for-ringworm-and-jock-itch

Summerhillsquare · 11/03/2024 20:08

Why are men so fucking grim? (Rhetorical of course)

thesleepyhoglet · 11/03/2024 20:10

He needs to Chuck his socks away and buy some cream or powder to treat his feet. It isn't that hard. If it is athketes foot then his feet will hurt and the skin will peel off

lifebeginsaftercoffee · 11/03/2024 20:10

I would be saying he needs to sort it out or go and live elsewhere. His attitude is horrendous.

BoobyDazzler · 11/03/2024 20:10

This kind of repulsive self neglect would be an absolute deal breaker to me. Yanbu at all!!

I had ringworm last year - caught from cows I think as I spend a lot of time on farms - and it was so easy to treat.

Hercisback · 11/03/2024 20:11

He needs to move out then if he won't treat it. You can't keep living like this.
Alternatively you move out but that's effort for you.

He needs to realise how serious this is.

DumpedByText · 11/03/2024 20:12

I'd order this and tell him it will be gone in 7 days. A spray will be easier than creams etc. He's clearly just being lazy and selfish!

To blame DH for ringworm and jock itch?
Cheeesus · 11/03/2024 20:13

So you have cream for you and DS and he is refusing to even put that on? That’s really odd.

Mumoftwo1312 · 11/03/2024 20:14

You need to make him move out to protect your son.

(If he's not willing to treat it properly)