To blame DH for ringworm and jock itch?

[Lello452]

For some time now DH has had the most god awful smelly and sweaty feet, he won't see a professional about it but in the absence of a diagnosis it's highly likely to be athlete's foot as he has all of the symptoms.

He washes them daily which does jot all and he hasn't committed to a proper treatment regime. He has used some powder he bought online inconsistently, a few times here and there. The problem persists. He has to keep his sock laundry seperate to everybody else's clothes.. it's that bad. I have insisted he wears crocs around the house as the smell of his socks when he's not wearing shoes is just too much.

He's very embarrassed about it he says, but only where professionals are concerned. He's happy for me and DC to deal with the smell which he's almost nose blind to now so he thinks we're exaggerating. I will say, this aside, he's a clean person who showers daily.

A couple of weeks ago I developed what I'm now fairly certain was sodding jock itch on the skin around my groin, inner thigh crease. I'll spare you further details.

Now, today, I received a call from my child's teacher who thinks he's developing ringworm.

Unfamiliar with ringworm, I had to look it up, low and behold it's the same thing that causes athlete's foot and jock itch.

AIBU to think his feet are the source. He doesn't think so, of course.

Can you not just have him move out?

He needs to treat the fungal infection as described above by many different posters and then he needs to sort his sweaty feet otherwise it will just be a breeding ground for more infections.

There are different options such as DRICLOR antiperspirant which is a game changer for anyone with excessive sweating or botox which works amazingly.

I know someone whose untreated athlete's foot led to sepsis, so would he rather be dead than give in?

It wouldn't be that straight forward.

It's something to work towards but as he doesn't have anywhere else to go he wouldn't just leave as he'd be homeless.

I came across driclor and told him all about it. He said it sounds great and he'll order some but never did. I reminded him about it this evening and he said he'll buy it, so we'll see.

Also chuck out all his socks and shoes and put a load of athletes foot powder in the new ones. Not that you should have to do any of this for him, but just to protect the rest of you!

This is absolutely grim.

YABU if only on the basis that you’ve not given him an ultimatum to either sort his feet out or leave. What a grimy c*t. No way on earth I’d put up with it.

You know, this is the argument I used when I was telling him he needed to go to the dentist when he broke a tooth and it was hurting him.

My dad died from sepsis which came from an infected abcess. 'D'H still wouldn't go to the dentist when I tried to make him. He's an idiot and a liability to himself and I'm bitterly ashamed of myself for having children with him. They deserve better than somebody like this for a role model and its all on me.

Then what makes you think he will ever leave?

Bloody hell op be is like a fucking child.

I wanted to give him an ultimatum tonight. I considered it and very nearly did but didn't have the confidence to follow through as he had already assumed it was coming and painted me as a terrible person for even thinking it.

It gets into your head doesn't it? When people turn things around onto you.

Logically I know I'm not in the wrong for not wanting to live with something like this yet he makes me feel like I'm a horrible person for having an issue with it.

He hasn't got time to spray his feet? For 10 seconds?

He sprays his feet, chucks all his shoes, buys new (cotton) socks, and boil washes all his towels. How fucking pathetic, infecting everyone else then claiming you treat him like a leper if you complain about it. It's such a victim mentality. You're treating him like an infectious person...which he is, on purpose, given he is doing fuck all about it

Then what makes you think he will ever leave?

I'm sure he'd leave if he had somewhere lined up to go to and was given time to put something in place, he just wouldn't be able to pack a bag and go immediately.

Bloody hell op be is like a fucking child

He really is. I told him that tonight and he turned that around on me aswell. He's not the brightest person, which isn't a problem to me, except that is my fault too. If I ever point out the fact he's being childish he starts with the "yeah thats right, we're not all as smart as you, sorry I don't speak in a certain way"

Exactly this. This is everything I've been trying to say tonight.

Naturally he's sound asleep now without a care in the world, he'll lose not one jot of sleep over any of this.

How easy life must be when you don't care about anything but yourself eh.

He's vile. I feel awful for you op

Is hibbiscrub anti fungal still out of stock everywhere? If not OP that is a brilliant medicinal grade anti fungal wash he can start showering and washing his feet with. He will need to use the cream or powder to fully treat it tho. How frustrating.

I’d be packing that bag for him. Pop some anti fungal spray in as a parting gift. He’ll find somewhere to stay, even if it’s a hotel. This situation is revolting in so many ways.

I wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole until he sorts it out. Yuk.

Does he have a lot of hard skin on his feet? A family member suffered badly with smelly feet to a ludicrous degree but had no infection of any sort. Eventually they saw a podiatrist for something unrelated, had a ton of skin removed from the soles of their feet and the smell was massively reduced. You always know when they haven’t had their feet done for a while.

I actually have some hibiscrub in the bathroom and suggested he give that a try as it's potent stuff. He said he would but I don't think he has, or if he has it'll be a one time thing. He seems to have resigned himself to the fact that he'll have this problem for life, without even trying much to help it.

I asked him why he hasn't tried any of the first line treatments available and he then says it's because he 'knows' it's some laser treatment he'll need. How could he possibly know that if he hasn't tried any of the other options?

He thinks the smell and the sweating are two seperate issues and aggravate one another, so using athletes foot cream isn't going to do anything about the sweating bit.

So I said why doesn't he get an anti fungal cream and something specifically for sweating. That's when he came out with the spiel about not having the time to commit to a complicated regime of creams and lotions.

Thank you for hearing me out because with him it's like an echo chamber. I feel so unheard and devalued.

Yes he does actually.

He won't see a podiatrist to have his feet done though.

I've offered to get him some of those peeling foot masks but he didn't take me up on it. I should have bought it anyway and stood over him until he did the bloody thing.

I suggested different pedicure tools he could use to file away at the areas and he said he doesn't want to do that because his feet will be sore 🤦🏼‍♀️

Literally any suggestion I made he has an excuse for.

God he's truly awful OP.

He cares more about short term embarrassment (going to the pharmacy / doctor) than he does about your son's wellbeing and your marriage. Literally. That's the active choice he's making.

Please consider the kind of relationship dynamic this is modelling and normalising to your children. And how that might affect them as adults. No genuine affection. Women acting as a parent to male partners. Men doing what they want and women putting up with it. They're likely to replicate that dynamic the longer they live under the same roof as it.

Let that fuel you into making a conscious, informed decision about your marriage rather than focusing on a break up being horrible in the short term.

Lamisil is good as a pp said, as is daktacort.

Treatments can be bought from Amazon or boots on line.

My exh was a terrible one for athletes foot and used to have jock itch too (obviously no idea if he still does). And yes our kids have have ringworm (Dd - and it was a pig to shift) and a scalp infection plus athletes food (ds) respectively.

This x 1000 👏👏👏👏