Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To blame DH for ringworm and jock itch?

142 replies

Lello452 · 11/03/2024 19:23

For some time now DH has had the most god awful smelly and sweaty feet, he won't see a professional about it but in the absence of a diagnosis it's highly likely to be athlete's foot as he has all of the symptoms.

He washes them daily which does jot all and he hasn't committed to a proper treatment regime. He has used some powder he bought online inconsistently, a few times here and there. The problem persists. He has to keep his sock laundry seperate to everybody else's clothes.. it's that bad. I have insisted he wears crocs around the house as the smell of his socks when he's not wearing shoes is just too much.

He's very embarrassed about it he says, but only where professionals are concerned. He's happy for me and DC to deal with the smell which he's almost nose blind to now so he thinks we're exaggerating. I will say, this aside, he's a clean person who showers daily.

A couple of weeks ago I developed what I'm now fairly certain was sodding jock itch on the skin around my groin, inner thigh crease. I'll spare you further details.

Now, today, I received a call from my child's teacher who thinks he's developing ringworm.

Unfamiliar with ringworm, I had to look it up, low and behold it's the same thing that causes athlete's foot and jock itch.

AIBU to think his feet are the source. He doesn't think so, of course.

OP posts:
hellsBells246 · 11/03/2024 23:10

My good, he's bloody frustrating.

Why not ask him how he'd feel if you had a medical condition that was disgusting for him and then you spread it to him and the Dc - how would he feel?? Try to get him to imagine this.

But op, you'd be better off apart. You'd be happier.

ForTonightGodisaDJ · 11/03/2024 23:27

Honestly Dactarin cream works wonders on Athletes foot. You can get it off the shelf at Boots.

Southoftheriver32 · 11/03/2024 23:30

And you’re still with him? Fuck me.

TerriPie · 11/03/2024 23:33

Sounds like he enjoys having putrid feet, some kind of weird kink like men who scratch their arses/balls/perineum and then sniff their fingers....

Your poor kids having to live with that disgusting creature, do them a favour and get rid of him or leave if you can't get him out.

minipie · 11/03/2024 23:41

I used to have persistent athlete’s foot, it can be bloody hard to get rid of even WITH all the treatments, new shoes etc. With no effort it will just get worse and worse.

My tips - if he is willing to try - on top of pp suggestions:

  1. Get rid of the crocs, they are porous, the fungus could be living in them

  2. Cut down sugar, white bread and try a probiotic. Persistent fungal infections can be a sign of gut imbalance and overgrowth of candida.

  3. Terbafine (sp?) tablets from the GP. I took them for a toenail infection but they also knocked my persistent athletes foot on the head. Risk of side effects tho so read up first.

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 11/03/2024 23:42

God how pathetic. There's so many over the counter treatments for athletes foot.

I had it on and off for years - I just keep a tube of Daktarin cream in my bedside drawer and treat when needed. How someone lets it become an issue like this is boggling.

justasking111 · 11/03/2024 23:48

OH sorry he'd be out the door for good. Who needs a smelly teenager husband.

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 11/03/2024 23:49

Pardon me, but I have three teenage sons and none of them are this gross! @justasking111 Grin

justasking111 · 11/03/2024 23:53

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 11/03/2024 23:49

Pardon me, but I have three teenage sons and none of them are this gross! @justasking111 Grin

My three sons had the odd unsavoury friend odour wise.

WearyAuldWumman · 12/03/2024 02:22

moonfacer · 11/03/2024 20:04

I have this with my nephew. Can someone recommend something I can help him do? Will Daktacort help?

Due to sen, I can’t just leave him to it.

In my experience, Lamisil Once is better than Daktacort. (There are different types of Lamisil. Lamisil Once is the gold standard, in my opinion - and possibly easier on you, treating a nephew with SEN.)

WearyAuldWumman · 12/03/2024 02:24

minipie · 11/03/2024 23:41

I used to have persistent athlete’s foot, it can be bloody hard to get rid of even WITH all the treatments, new shoes etc. With no effort it will just get worse and worse.

My tips - if he is willing to try - on top of pp suggestions:

  1. Get rid of the crocs, they are porous, the fungus could be living in them

  2. Cut down sugar, white bread and try a probiotic. Persistent fungal infections can be a sign of gut imbalance and overgrowth of candida.

  3. Terbafine (sp?) tablets from the GP. I took them for a toenail infection but they also knocked my persistent athletes foot on the head. Risk of side effects tho so read up first.

Just adding that persistent fungal infections can also be associated with diabetes.

Feministwoman · 12/03/2024 02:24

Dogdilemma2000 · 11/03/2024 19:55

You need to keep all your laundry separate and boil his socks.

Why should she be responsible to "boil his socks?"

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 12/03/2024 02:39

This would be a deal-breaker for me

Not the fact he has the infection but the fact he does NOTHING about it and still won't.
It's horrendous.

Absolutely give him that ultimatum op.

grinandslothit · 12/03/2024 02:53

And he has a rotten mouth because of poor dental hygiene, too.

Yeah, I think that this is beyond help he seems to have such contempt and disrespect for you.

Some men really do have a severe "you're not the boss of me complex" no matter what the issue is. They will double down just in order to not to have to do something you ask them to do.

babyproblems · 12/03/2024 02:59

Concestor · 11/03/2024 20:01

I honestly think I'd ask him to move out if he won't deal with it. He's infected you and your son! And it's so easy to treat!

I really don't think I could put up with this. It's grim.

I thought this too but thought I’d get flamed for writing it 😂

Yourowncase · 12/03/2024 05:23

From my experience @Lello452 men care about their money more than anything a lot of the time-

book you and your son into a nice local hotel and tell him you will both be very pleased to see him once he has shown he has been treating his feet and the condition is getting better!

Yourowncase · 12/03/2024 06:00

rwalker · 11/03/2024 21:14

Doesn’t sound like athletes foot to have it that bad for that long the skin would be red raw and incredibly painful
applying barrier cream can make it worse sealing it in and not allowing feet to breathe

some people can’t wear synthetic socks

ether make it a hill to die on or work with him
as you say he’s nose blind to it so literally will not see it as problem

I’ve had athletes foot and jock itch not caught it from anyone it was a combination of me not showering straight after sport and not drying my feet properly

over time both me and the kids have had it at different times never be too hot in towels and wearing slippers we’ve never caught it off each other

Even if he can’t smell it he can see it with his eyes and feel it in his skin- even a mild case of athletes foot itches enough to drive me insane.

44PumpLane · 12/03/2024 07:05

OP I suffer from recurrent athletes foot, I always know when it's starting to come on as my feet get more sweaty!!

As soon as I note the change I start to use athletes foot cream purchased OTC and I use it twice a day for at least a week longer than it takes for the symptoms to go away.....so the sweaty feet could be linked.

You may have to just take charge of this though, for your own sanity. Buy him a couple of the sprays so he can do it for several weeks (as his infection will be hardy after this long). Try and slip him a thrush tablet as that's an anti fungicide and can be bought otc.

Buy the spray for his shoes and spray each of his shoes twice a day every day for as long as you can be bothered.

Book wash the socks and towels and bedding.

Scrub the shower/bath floor to avoid cross contamination.

See if you can borrow a steam mop to go over the floors to kill any spores that might be living on the floor.

You shouldn't have to do all this I understand. But you may wish to for your own benefit.

Effitall · 12/03/2024 07:30

I bet if he moved out and was back on the dating scene he’d soon clean his act up.

Lello452 · 12/03/2024 07:32

Thank you for all of the advice it's very helpful. I'm going to put all of the bedding on a boil wash today. I've ordered three tubes of lamisil which will be delivered tomorrow and the detergent reccomended is in my weekly shop basket which I'll be finishing off today.

All of his shoes, are they beyond a boil wash? If I throw them all away I'll never hear the end of it. The sulking can go on for days and creates an awful atmosphere which has already began as predicted.

He hasn't even acknowledged my birthday this morning. He genuinely believes he is the one who has been wronged. I have never known a more pig headed man in my life.

OP posts:
Dogdilemma2000 · 12/03/2024 08:05

Feministwoman · 12/03/2024 02:24

Why should she be responsible to "boil his socks?"

Collective “you”.

moonfacer · 12/03/2024 08:06

Lello452 · 12/03/2024 07:32

Thank you for all of the advice it's very helpful. I'm going to put all of the bedding on a boil wash today. I've ordered three tubes of lamisil which will be delivered tomorrow and the detergent reccomended is in my weekly shop basket which I'll be finishing off today.

All of his shoes, are they beyond a boil wash? If I throw them all away I'll never hear the end of it. The sulking can go on for days and creates an awful atmosphere which has already began as predicted.

He hasn't even acknowledged my birthday this morning. He genuinely believes he is the one who has been wronged. I have never known a more pig headed man in my life.

Tell him his shoes are spreading germs to you and your son which you will not tolerate. Find your anger.

OP, you seem to be shying away from the subject of divorce. Is it unthinkable?

Dogdilemma2000 · 12/03/2024 08:07

@Lello452 - try absolutely drenching his shoes in antibac spray then leaving them to dry. I get smelly feet and this works for me.

Dogdilemma2000 · 12/03/2024 08:08

“He hasn't even acknowledged my birthday this morning. He genuinely believes he is the one who has been wronged. I have never known a more pig headed man in my life.“

Does he have any good qualities? This is horrible.

BringMeTea · 12/03/2024 08:29

Happy Birthday OP. You and your child deserve better. Make this your last birthday with a horrible abusive scumbag... Flowers