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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my hairdresser behaved unprofessionally?

132 replies

JasmineJewels · 06/03/2024 20:43

I went to the hairdresser for a half head of highlights this week. I am naturally dark blonde but like to brighten my hair up. For years I box dyed my hair with the baby blonde nice & easy kit and it looked fine but now I go to the salon a few times a year and do it myself in between.

This hairdresser has done my highlights a few times over the last year and half. It had been several months since I’d been to her and I’d been away on holiday so I’d used a box dye in the meantime because I wanted to blend the regrowth.

On the day of the appointment, I sat in the chair and she started looking through my hair and asked if I’d used something on it since the last time. I told her I’d used box dye but only on the hairline and roots and her whole manner changed. She became very irritable with me and started basically telling me off. She started saying things like ‘I wish you wouldn’t put box dye on it because it’s so hard to lift for me! You should always wait and have it done professionally.’

I was taken aback because the box dye wasn’t that apparent. It had faded a lot and to be honest, I don’t have the money to go to the salon every time I have some regrowth. She made me feel like a scolded child and I was upset because I get a bit anxious anyway when I go to the hairdressers and she made me feel like I did something wrong. I pay a lot of money to have my hair done and I expect to feel relaxed, not uncomfortable.

Do you think she was tone deaf to say this in the middle of a cost of living crisis? Not everyone has the money to pay £70+ for their hair every 6 weeks. I understand it can be frustrating when clients use box dye but I didn’t find her reaction very professional.

OP posts:
Crazycrazylady · 06/03/2024 20:56

To be fair my hairdresser hated it when I use box dye as well. She huffs and puffs and tells me it's really bad for my hair
Think it's fairly standard that hair dressers hate them tbh .

PandaCwtch · 06/03/2024 20:57

She could probably have been more polite with you, but this is a conversation I've had with my hairdresser. It isn't because she wants to get more money out of you by going more often, it's because the results of using the professional products on top of the home box dye can be very unsatisfactory.

You are likely to need a different highlight shade to lift the colour so she would have to make a colour correction, rather than just going for the shade you wanted. If you want to continue to 'top up' between appointments, ask them what home dye would be suitable.

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 06/03/2024 21:00

You hair dresser lacks manners/politeness

Tell her to naff off and take your business to another place

Zarahlovesthebeach · 06/03/2024 21:08

I have a sister and close friend both hairdressers. So yes they do hate box dyes and to be 100% honest with you its 50/50 it is about the money , they want you to be more of a regular costumer and also they hate that you've given them more work to get to the desired colour you would like. Both have said to me the box dye being bad for your hair is stupid and a load of rubbish... your hairs being bleached with highlights anyway , bleach isnt exactly kind to your hair, or maybe a root colour or a tint? All of these damage natural hair.
What I've been told by both is , you need to choose one or the other really , you choose to get your hair done at a salon and do not colour inbetween appointments as your defeating the object and wasting everyones time & money all round... or you box dye at home. Just be careful with the build up with that and just do the roots more regular than full head.
Theres plenty of women I know that have box dyed for years & their hair looks nice , you should deep condition your hair regularly if colouring your hair yourself
I get the hairdressers point but she was rude. If I was spoken to like a child by a hairdresser I'd never go back... theres plenty of them find someone else or do it yourself :)

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 06/03/2024 21:08

My hairdresser has advised that I use box dyes as for whatever reason my hair doesn't hold colours well and washes up really quickly, this is why I like her and have used her for many years. Your hairdresser was rude and I'd be seeking another on which to part my money with.

Zarahlovesthebeach · 06/03/2024 21:13

Why is it bad for your hair? Surely whatever shes doing to strip your natural colour is bad for your hair too? Ask her next time . They want you to carry on spending money with them , it's how they make a living so they say bad for you a however colouring at hairdressers is just as bad. Unless they are using natural hair dye ? ?

Notsuredontknow · 06/03/2024 21:15

Yes she was rude. She could’ve got her message across much more professionally. I wouldnt want to back to her if she spoke to me like that

GellerYeller · 06/03/2024 21:15

I can’t get to the hairdresser as often as we both would like. She knows my greys won’t last 12 weeks and that I need a root touch up at home. She puts scattered blonde lights throughout- underneath, not on top, so no visible roots. Some blonde to frame my face. The rest is a light brown so I can touch up between visits.
She accepted that I’m going to home colour and worked with it.
Which I very much appreciate. She’s never said it’s harder to work with though.

Zarahlovesthebeach · 06/03/2024 21:16

GellerYeller · 06/03/2024 21:15

I can’t get to the hairdresser as often as we both would like. She knows my greys won’t last 12 weeks and that I need a root touch up at home. She puts scattered blonde lights throughout- underneath, not on top, so no visible roots. Some blonde to frame my face. The rest is a light brown so I can touch up between visits.
She accepted that I’m going to home colour and worked with it.
Which I very much appreciate. She’s never said it’s harder to work with though.

She sounds like a decent hairdresser

Zarahlovesthebeach · 06/03/2024 21:19

Yes some hairdressers will be ok with you just doing roots yourself inbetween appointments without giving you a lecture , however it sounds like OP coloured whole head inbetween , is this correct OP?

GellerYeller · 06/03/2024 21:19

Zarahlovesthebeach · 06/03/2024 21:16

She sounds like a decent hairdresser

Yes I love her!

JasmineJewels · 06/03/2024 21:21

Zarahlovesthebeach · 06/03/2024 21:19

Yes some hairdressers will be ok with you just doing roots yourself inbetween appointments without giving you a lecture , however it sounds like OP coloured whole head inbetween , is this correct OP?

No I only coloured my parting and front hairline. All of the rest of it was untouched which is why I thought she went a bit over the top with the lecture.

OP posts:
SaulHudsonDavidJones · 06/03/2024 21:24

Yes, very unprofessional. Not everyone can afford to keep up with salon appointments as frequently as needed. It's your choice if you want to use a box dye, she should keep her opinion to herself. You don't owe her anything. I'd go elsewhere.

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 06/03/2024 21:24

Zarahlovesthebeach · 06/03/2024 21:19

Yes some hairdressers will be ok with you just doing roots yourself inbetween appointments without giving you a lecture , however it sounds like OP coloured whole head inbetween , is this correct OP?

And so what if she did? Her hair, her choice!

Alwaystransforming · 06/03/2024 21:28

She is right. And it could lift unevenly or not as expected. Many hair dressers are fine with this.

Some are not. You should have told her, before the appointment, so she could make a decision about wether to do it at all, wether to allow extra time in case something happens and so on.

It’s your hair to do as you wish. But there’s possible impact on her and she may need to make difference decisions based on this.

Zarahlovesthebeach · 06/03/2024 21:28

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 06/03/2024 21:24

And so what if she did? Her hair, her choice!

Yes I agree with you

Zarahlovesthebeach · 06/03/2024 21:31

JasmineJewels · 06/03/2024 21:21

No I only coloured my parting and front hairline. All of the rest of it was untouched which is why I thought she went a bit over the top with the lecture.

So will you be going back to her? Because I definitely wouldnt after being spoken to like this , like I previously said ... plenty of other hairdressers that would love the custom. She had no right to speak to you that way, you are paying her, she could of suggested you do not colour in between appointments & explained why she suggests this... but she went ott and sounds a right madam

MrsMikeHeck · 06/03/2024 21:36

That sucks.

The best hairdressers meet you where you’re at - without judgement or criticism. You need to be able to be honest with them.

bringmorewashing · 06/03/2024 21:41

It does sound unprofessional and rude of her. Maybe she had a point about the box dye, I'm not sure, but either way that's not how you speak to customers/anyone.

Fleamaker · 06/03/2024 21:42

It's your head you can do what you want with it! You only touched up the roots, who does she think she is, speaking to you like an imbecile??

She may have thought it, but she shouldn't have said it. Very rude and unprofessional.

I'd be taking my hard earned money elsewhere!

JasmineJewels · 06/03/2024 21:47

Zarahlovesthebeach · 06/03/2024 21:31

So will you be going back to her? Because I definitely wouldnt after being spoken to like this , like I previously said ... plenty of other hairdressers that would love the custom. She had no right to speak to you that way, you are paying her, she could of suggested you do not colour in between appointments & explained why she suggests this... but she went ott and sounds a right madam

No I won’t be going back, I didn’t like the way she spoke to me. It’s a shame because I was always happy with the result but I’m sure I can find someone just as good who doesn’t speak to me like a child. I am getting married later this year and wanted to get my hair professionally coloured and styled for the day so hopefully I can find a nicer hairdresser to do it.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 06/03/2024 21:49

MrsMikeHeck · 06/03/2024 21:36

That sucks.

The best hairdressers meet you where you’re at - without judgement or criticism. You need to be able to be honest with them.

I've been going to the same hairdresser for 40 years. She had plenty to say when she had to deal with the aftermath of my attempts to cut my own hair during lock down. I seem to remember it featured both judgement and criticism 😂

SuperheroBirds · 06/03/2024 21:50

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 06/03/2024 21:08

My hairdresser has advised that I use box dyes as for whatever reason my hair doesn't hold colours well and washes up really quickly, this is why I like her and have used her for many years. Your hairdresser was rude and I'd be seeking another on which to part my money with.

I dye my hair brown, to cover up greys. It doesn’t hold the dye for long, so I do it myself as paying the hairdresser to colour it every 8 weeks would be extortionate. My last hairdresser used to try to convince me to have her colour it every time I went in for a cut, even though I was happy with the colour I had. Eventually I’d had enough, and I found a new hairdresser. My new one often compliments my colour and how well I’ve applied it. She makes going to the hairdresser very relaxing, as I’m not worried about being moaned at or pushed into extra things. She now has my loyalty as a long-standing customer, and the other one does not.

TedWilson · 06/03/2024 21:55

I do find everyone wants to tell me off these days. Dentist tells me off for not using Teepee brushes which I hate. Went for a facial got told off because I couldn't remember if I had moisturised or not that morning (sorry was trying to get two kids out of the door). Go to get my eyebrows done get told off for not conditioning them.seriously if I did all these damn things I wouldn't have time for anything else just shut up and take my money!

Loloj · 06/03/2024 22:46

Yes rude of her. I box dye my own hair as it needs doing every 3-4 weeks and I’m just not willing to pay salon prices and waste 3 hours sitting in the hairdressers each time. My hairdresser always comments on how lovely the colour is and says I do a good job of it. If she started making rude comments I wouldn’t be returning!!