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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my hairdresser behaved unprofessionally?

132 replies

JasmineJewels · 06/03/2024 20:43

I went to the hairdresser for a half head of highlights this week. I am naturally dark blonde but like to brighten my hair up. For years I box dyed my hair with the baby blonde nice & easy kit and it looked fine but now I go to the salon a few times a year and do it myself in between.

This hairdresser has done my highlights a few times over the last year and half. It had been several months since I’d been to her and I’d been away on holiday so I’d used a box dye in the meantime because I wanted to blend the regrowth.

On the day of the appointment, I sat in the chair and she started looking through my hair and asked if I’d used something on it since the last time. I told her I’d used box dye but only on the hairline and roots and her whole manner changed. She became very irritable with me and started basically telling me off. She started saying things like ‘I wish you wouldn’t put box dye on it because it’s so hard to lift for me! You should always wait and have it done professionally.’

I was taken aback because the box dye wasn’t that apparent. It had faded a lot and to be honest, I don’t have the money to go to the salon every time I have some regrowth. She made me feel like a scolded child and I was upset because I get a bit anxious anyway when I go to the hairdressers and she made me feel like I did something wrong. I pay a lot of money to have my hair done and I expect to feel relaxed, not uncomfortable.

Do you think she was tone deaf to say this in the middle of a cost of living crisis? Not everyone has the money to pay £70+ for their hair every 6 weeks. I understand it can be frustrating when clients use box dye but I didn’t find her reaction very professional.

OP posts:
mummyh2016 · 08/03/2024 07:17

Plus highlights normally means foils or cap. I presume you slapped it on your roots instead like an all over colour? Completely different look doing that compared to highlights so even if the colour matched she probably had to put more foils into break up the block caused by the box colour.

JanewaysBun · 08/03/2024 07:18

Aveda salon made me sign a waiver that the colour might not come out as evenly as expected on the box dyed bits.

Tbf my friend usually does my hair and also really hates me putting box dye on, she prefers me to use that root spray that washes out so I have an even base.

Padz · 08/03/2024 07:57

I hate going to the hairdressers for this exact reason.

Pudmyboy · 08/03/2024 07:57

FleurdeLiane · 08/03/2024 03:17

It's hard to apply on yourself. You have more risk of getting on your scalp which is an allergy risk, and of going over the hair again and again creating dense matt colour on the ends which looks odd.

Newer dyes seem more gentle and they are getting easier to apply (thicker product, non-drip, pleasant smell, larger aftercare conditioner included).
Hairdressers need to do allergy tests too so should be getting you to pop in for a dab of colour behind your ear 48 hrs prior to the appointment. Though that has happened to me just once or twice!
I've been dying my hair at home for years and not had any problems as long as I pick a brand with no ammonia and follow the instructions

mcmooberry · 08/03/2024 08:44

Glad to hear you aren't going back, she could have said the same thing but nicely and retained you as a customer.

MarkWithaC · 08/03/2024 09:06

mcmooberry · 08/03/2024 08:44

Glad to hear you aren't going back, she could have said the same thing but nicely and retained you as a customer.

Exactly this. It's not really about whether box dyes are bad/how much extra work it takes the hairdresser. It's the way she behaved.

As a professional you have choices: you can huff and puff and behave as if a client and their actions are a nuisance, or you can calmly and clearly make them aware of what the issues are and what fixing them might take/cost etc, then work with them to the best of your ability, for a fair and transparent cost, and with their ongoing understanding and agreement.

I don't spend money with anyone who is in the former category.

HoppingPavlova · 08/03/2024 09:28

My hairdresser is a friend. I do not pay for my hair to be done, so no matter of cost or them trying to drum up repeat business, yet their biggest fear is box dyes because if the uncertain results when they go over them.

angela1952 · 08/03/2024 18:21

My hairdresser provides me with hair dye to use on my roots between her visits. Maybe yours could do this? All you need is tube(s) of the colour(s) and a bottle of the right strength peroxide. Mix, apply and leave for 30 mins.

laylababe5 · 08/03/2024 18:42

E-salon is a good compromise for me. I've been using the service for about 7 years. My hairdressers (who only cut my hair) have told me it gives a great result. The developer volume is controlled (20 vol for me per the e-salon quiz). As far as I'm aware one of the main issues with box dye is you have no idea what volume the developer is. But like previous posters have said, you need to choose if you're going to get it professionally done or do it yourself. Hairdressers have no idea of the formula that was in your box dye and you're giving her more work to do. It does sound like she was a bit unprofessional, but she probably gets this all the time and is a bit fed up with it. Can't say I'm 100% professional 100% of the time. Everyone has their off days. We're only human after all.

angstybaby · 08/03/2024 18:53

I got similar from my optician for getting a sight test with, which I paid for, but got the glasses made somewhere cheaper. I won't be going back

fetchacloth · 08/03/2024 19:08

My hairdresser doesn't like clients using box dyes either.
During lockdown one I did use one out of desperation and some of it was still present in my hair when I returned to the hairdresser after lockdown. I fessed up straight away but she did ask me (nicely 😁) not to do it again as it can spoil the result of a professional colour.

MMAS · 08/03/2024 19:30

Did you check which level she was at. It could be you booked a Level 1 hairdresser by mistake hence her reaction. God love her, she would have been frantic but really the other stylists should have taken over. If not a L1 then I would find another hairdresser having re-read everything.

JasmineJewels · 08/03/2024 19:51

MMAS · 08/03/2024 19:30

Did you check which level she was at. It could be you booked a Level 1 hairdresser by mistake hence her reaction. God love her, she would have been frantic but really the other stylists should have taken over. If not a L1 then I would find another hairdresser having re-read everything.

Edited

She is an experienced hairdresser and definitely not level 1. On her Instagram she often posts pics and writes about home bleach jobs and box dyes she’s fixed. Probably why she was so fed up with me. Mine wasn’t even very bad, I didn’t dye the whole head.

The experience has put me off going to the hairdresser again tbh. Might stick to home colouring (and save money) because I did that for 10+ years and it looked fine. I just liked the extra dimension the salon dye added but it’s not that special.

OP posts:
mummyh2016 · 08/03/2024 20:21

MMAS · 08/03/2024 19:30

Did you check which level she was at. It could be you booked a Level 1 hairdresser by mistake hence her reaction. God love her, she would have been frantic but really the other stylists should have taken over. If not a L1 then I would find another hairdresser having re-read everything.

Edited

Level 1 isn't qualified, level 1 is what school kids do as a vocational course. I'd be very worried if she was level 1.

MamaLazerou · 08/03/2024 20:25

Where are you based OP - sounds like the hairdresser I just saw!

MMAS · 08/03/2024 20:27

Oh wow I was being kind - don't have my hair coloured. Thank you for updating us all x This was to Mummy16 - sorry not very good at doing responses

Jeannie88 · 08/03/2024 20:27

Guess I'm lucky with mine, they accept I box dye roots when I need to and appreciate the magic they do. Also when I've not been for months with big roots, yes they say don't leave it as long next time lol 😆 So strange how they get to know you so well, they know my life and I take my son there as well and they know him and manage his needs wonderfully. It's like gold when you find a local hairdresser who understands you and never judges, please try to find one! X

DoughBallss · 08/03/2024 20:40

Most hairdressers hate people using box dye.

Have you considered having a full head of foils every other section? I’ve had this done for years and it’s such low maintenance I only go every 12 weeks. The rooty look suits it with dark blonde hair and it’s a nice treat when it does get lightened.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 08/03/2024 21:03

My hairdresser actually suggested I do my dye myself because he thinks I do a good job (we decided that after lockdown), he does highlights or if I do a full bleach but otherwise I do the all over colour.

LalaPaloosa · 08/03/2024 21:34

You don’t need to tolerate any behaviour that makes you uncomfortable, especially when you are paying for a service. Find a new hairdresser and don’t go back.

Midwinter91 · 08/03/2024 23:18

Box dye can really mess up the process for them, because it’s hard to know how the hair will react to bleach

Humannat · 09/03/2024 00:42

PandaCwtch · 06/03/2024 20:57

She could probably have been more polite with you, but this is a conversation I've had with my hairdresser. It isn't because she wants to get more money out of you by going more often, it's because the results of using the professional products on top of the home box dye can be very unsatisfactory.

You are likely to need a different highlight shade to lift the colour so she would have to make a colour correction, rather than just going for the shade you wanted. If you want to continue to 'top up' between appointments, ask them what home dye would be suitable.

This is the answer, the hairdresser knows charging for a colour correction would be poorly received so essentially has to be prepared to deal with the lucky dip reaction of the two colours AND leave the head with the results of a half head highlight for just the price of a half head.

JenniferBooth · 09/03/2024 01:04

I hate being the customer AFTER someone who has used a box dye. Their appointment inevitably runs into mine.

Lampslights · 09/03/2024 07:02

JenniferBooth · 09/03/2024 01:04

I hate being the customer AFTER someone who has used a box dye. Their appointment inevitably runs into mine.

What? Never once had a hairdresser explain someone else’s issues ie box dye, never mind on the regular.

clothearedpotatohead · 09/03/2024 07:10

Alwaystransforming · 06/03/2024 21:28

She is right. And it could lift unevenly or not as expected. Many hair dressers are fine with this.

Some are not. You should have told her, before the appointment, so she could make a decision about wether to do it at all, wether to allow extra time in case something happens and so on.

It’s your hair to do as you wish. But there’s possible impact on her and she may need to make difference decisions based on this.

meh, if this was important info the hairdresser should have enquired herself