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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my hairdresser behaved unprofessionally?

132 replies

JasmineJewels · 06/03/2024 20:43

I went to the hairdresser for a half head of highlights this week. I am naturally dark blonde but like to brighten my hair up. For years I box dyed my hair with the baby blonde nice & easy kit and it looked fine but now I go to the salon a few times a year and do it myself in between.

This hairdresser has done my highlights a few times over the last year and half. It had been several months since I’d been to her and I’d been away on holiday so I’d used a box dye in the meantime because I wanted to blend the regrowth.

On the day of the appointment, I sat in the chair and she started looking through my hair and asked if I’d used something on it since the last time. I told her I’d used box dye but only on the hairline and roots and her whole manner changed. She became very irritable with me and started basically telling me off. She started saying things like ‘I wish you wouldn’t put box dye on it because it’s so hard to lift for me! You should always wait and have it done professionally.’

I was taken aback because the box dye wasn’t that apparent. It had faded a lot and to be honest, I don’t have the money to go to the salon every time I have some regrowth. She made me feel like a scolded child and I was upset because I get a bit anxious anyway when I go to the hairdressers and she made me feel like I did something wrong. I pay a lot of money to have my hair done and I expect to feel relaxed, not uncomfortable.

Do you think she was tone deaf to say this in the middle of a cost of living crisis? Not everyone has the money to pay £70+ for their hair every 6 weeks. I understand it can be frustrating when clients use box dye but I didn’t find her reaction very professional.

OP posts:
Noseybookworm · 06/03/2024 22:53

JasmineJewels · 06/03/2024 21:47

No I won’t be going back, I didn’t like the way she spoke to me. It’s a shame because I was always happy with the result but I’m sure I can find someone just as good who doesn’t speak to me like a child. I am getting married later this year and wanted to get my hair professionally coloured and styled for the day so hopefully I can find a nicer hairdresser to do it.

You're right not to go back, she may have had a point but she didn't have to say it so rudely. Ask around friends and I'm sure you'll find someone nicer 😊

saltinesandcoffeecups · 06/03/2024 22:57

ilovesooty · 06/03/2024 21:49

I've been going to the same hairdresser for 40 years. She had plenty to say when she had to deal with the aftermath of my attempts to cut my own hair during lock down. I seem to remember it featured both judgement and criticism 😂

My stylist did a ‘color drop’ to my house with video tutorials. Clearly I can’t be trusted to my own devices. 🤣

Overthegardenfence · 06/03/2024 23:01

Hang on a minute! your supposed to condition your eyebrows 🥴 what’s that all about does anyone do that and how do you do it?

TedWilson · 06/03/2024 23:03

Overthegardenfence · 06/03/2024 23:01

Hang on a minute! your supposed to condition your eyebrows 🥴 what’s that all about does anyone do that and how do you do it?

Serums apparently!

HellonHeels · 06/03/2024 23:06

TedWilson · 06/03/2024 21:55

I do find everyone wants to tell me off these days. Dentist tells me off for not using Teepee brushes which I hate. Went for a facial got told off because I couldn't remember if I had moisturised or not that morning (sorry was trying to get two kids out of the door). Go to get my eyebrows done get told off for not conditioning them.seriously if I did all these damn things I wouldn't have time for anything else just shut up and take my money!

Eyebrow conditioning?! WTF

Stopsnowing · 06/03/2024 23:08

Pretty standard for hairdressers to say “who did your hair last” in a disapproving way.

HellonHeels · 06/03/2024 23:09

TedWilson · 06/03/2024 23:03

Serums apparently!

Honestly who the hell has time or patience for this?

I'd rather read a book or have a coffee break than do all this and I totally refuse to believe that it would make a noticeable difference.

Overthegardenfence · 06/03/2024 23:10

eyebrow serums ? Well I never ! what else can they think of for us to spend our money on?

Overthegardenfence · 06/03/2024 23:13

Oh god I hate teepee brushes nasty pointy little buggers

Lighteningstrikes · 06/03/2024 23:18

Impolite and tactless, although she did have a point.

If she does a very good job, stick with her and level with her, that that’s the way you have to/choose to do your hair.

Is that okay with her, and if not, find someone else.

Hotgirlwinter · 06/03/2024 23:19

When you find a new one, tell them that you are looking to minimise the look of regrowth and ask how you can deal with the greys during the time between appointments, as every 4-6 weeks isn’t achievable for you.

She was rude and I’d not go back either, going to the salon can cause people a lot of anxiety at the best of times and it’s really upsetting when you get a lecture off of them!

DanceToThisBeatForevermore · 06/03/2024 23:19

She does sound rude and unprofessional. I’m a hairdresser and if you had come to me I would have simply explained that you might expect the roots to look a little warmer than usual in the parts where it had been dyed but that I would do everything to blend it with a toner etc.

I understand clients have to think about the cost and time commitment and I’m always very upfront about my prices, will ask what their budget is and their lifestyle to figure out a good colouring regime with less maintenance etc. to fit with that. I would rather have a client who only comes in once a year than not at all! And box dyes have their place, they’re not the work of the devil.

MumblesParty · 06/03/2024 23:43

It’s none of her business what you do to your own hair! If she feels she’s not able to dye your hair after you’ve done it yourself, then she can just refuse, and someone else can have your money. She needs to get over herself.

WhateverMate · 06/03/2024 23:48

YANBU OP

It's like she's travelled back to the 1980s where most hairdressers seemed to think it was fine to berate anyone who didn't go to them personally for every cut, colour and blowdry, and woe betide them if they dared to use anything but the expensive shampoos, conditioners and hairsprays they used to sell.

It's one of the reasons I still dread going to the hairdressers. In fact I'd rather go to the dentist!

Ohnoooooooo · 07/03/2024 01:07

JasmineJewels · 06/03/2024 21:21

No I only coloured my parting and front hairline. All of the rest of it was untouched which is why I thought she went a bit over the top with the lecture.

My hair dresser offers a choice of full head of roots or just parting and hairline roots - I use this cheaper option of parting/hairline for top ups and do full head of roots every few months.

JanetareyouokareyouokJanet · 07/03/2024 01:22

Box dyes are really awful for the hair and to work with, I wouldn’t do someone’s hair that you basically have to correct every time they come in. She’s not unreasonable.

cost of living has nothing to do with it. You wouldn’t want to be correcting bodged work in Your own career because people cut corners.

FictionalCharacter · 07/03/2024 01:29

She’s forgetting that you’re the customer and you’re paying her for a service. Yes it might have made the job a little bit more difficult for you, but if she’s a competent hairdresser she should be able to cope with that, and she isn’t doing your hair for free.

RogueFemale · 07/03/2024 01:35

I don't think it's unreasonable for the hairdresser to complain about you using home treatments [which mess up your colour], but she could've been more diplomatic.

PansyOatZebra · 07/03/2024 04:56

It makes it harder for them to lift. I used to get my hair done in foils, then went to box dye for a little while as I wanted a darker colour. When I went back to hairdressers for foils to go back blonde it made it harder for them, they instead had to put just bleach and toner through and then I’m back in a couple weeks for them to had some other blonde tones because you can’t put dye over box dye as it just won’t come out right.

Ive also never had my foils done every 6 weeks so I think that’s an exaggeration! Normally full head twice a year and half head twice a year.

HoppingPavlova · 07/03/2024 05:20

I don’t think it’s about money but about their results then being iffy through no fault of their own. I have a friend who is a hairdresser and he did ‘secret runs’ over to me during lockdown to deliver colour he had mixed. It’s in fear I’d use a box dye and then it would be a nightmare for him when we restarted as usual. He tried to do it for as many friends and clients as he could, didn’t charge a penny, lost a lot of money at a time he couldn’t afford to. However, that was his preference as he said his idea of hell was to have to put up with months/years of going over box dyes when the salon reopened. He said you never know how the dye is going to react with hair that has been box dyed so results can be very different to that wanted/anticipated. Then he has unhappy clients because they didn’t get what they asked for and some demand a redo for free, and then he just has the same issue. So, team hairdresser here.

badwolf82 · 07/03/2024 05:27

Either go to a salon or use box dye. Don't mix them. You are making the hairdresser’s job much harder. The chemicals in box dye are generally much harsher than professionals use and she has no idea what exactly is in it because they don’t disclose the ratios of ingredients. So she has to essentially guess at what was used and try to adjust her mix accordingly, with the risk of unpredictable or bad outcomes.

Devilshands · 07/03/2024 05:36

I don’t think it’s about money but about their results then being iffy through no fault of their own.

This from a PP is 100% on. The cheapo hairdye can make it much harder for a hairdresser to do their job - and of course when that happens people then blame the hairdresser!

Cantthinkofadifferentname · 07/03/2024 05:59

I only use box dyes saves time/money.
My hairdressers on last visit said colour looks natural and best condition it's ever been in, been going to him for over 25 years, never any judgement

Alwaystransforming · 07/03/2024 06:10

Cantthinkofadifferentname · 07/03/2024 05:59

I only use box dyes saves time/money.
My hairdressers on last visit said colour looks natural and best condition it's ever been in, been going to him for over 25 years, never any judgement

But is he also attempting to lift the colour?

my hair dresser doesn’t care if people box dye and go in for a cut. Loads of hair dresses aren’t opposed to people box dying their hair. The problem comes when people want to use box dye then have their hair lifted.

But there’s a massive difference between box dying and the hair dresser cutting and/or styling you hair. And a hair dresser lifting your hair.

Also, given op hadn’t told the hair dresser in advance, the hair dresser may have got unexpected results that took longer to fix. So I can see why she was annoyed.

I get op feels the hair dresser had a go at her and that’s not great. But Op also said she felt really anxious. When we are anxious we can have a tendency to be over sensitive. It’s possible the hair dresser wasn’t as bad as people are imagining.