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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my hairdresser behaved unprofessionally?

132 replies

JasmineJewels · 06/03/2024 20:43

I went to the hairdresser for a half head of highlights this week. I am naturally dark blonde but like to brighten my hair up. For years I box dyed my hair with the baby blonde nice & easy kit and it looked fine but now I go to the salon a few times a year and do it myself in between.

This hairdresser has done my highlights a few times over the last year and half. It had been several months since I’d been to her and I’d been away on holiday so I’d used a box dye in the meantime because I wanted to blend the regrowth.

On the day of the appointment, I sat in the chair and she started looking through my hair and asked if I’d used something on it since the last time. I told her I’d used box dye but only on the hairline and roots and her whole manner changed. She became very irritable with me and started basically telling me off. She started saying things like ‘I wish you wouldn’t put box dye on it because it’s so hard to lift for me! You should always wait and have it done professionally.’

I was taken aback because the box dye wasn’t that apparent. It had faded a lot and to be honest, I don’t have the money to go to the salon every time I have some regrowth. She made me feel like a scolded child and I was upset because I get a bit anxious anyway when I go to the hairdressers and she made me feel like I did something wrong. I pay a lot of money to have my hair done and I expect to feel relaxed, not uncomfortable.

Do you think she was tone deaf to say this in the middle of a cost of living crisis? Not everyone has the money to pay £70+ for their hair every 6 weeks. I understand it can be frustrating when clients use box dye but I didn’t find her reaction very professional.

OP posts:
MorningSunshineSparkles · 07/03/2024 06:59

I worked in a salon, they don’t like box dye because it takes business away from them. Ignore her and find a new hairdresser, no one needs to be spending hundreds to be scolded.

FenellaBestwick · 07/03/2024 07:15

I stopped using hairdressers for their bloody rudeness, I now cut and colour my own and it looks fine.

Humptydumptybounced · 07/03/2024 07:16

Your hairdresser has a point (but could have been more tactful).

I have a friend who is a Podiatrist and they tell me that they get fed up with people using corn paste/razor blades/woodwork rasps etc on their feet, making a right mess and then expecting it to be put right in one treatment!

These clients want to save money bit it costs them more in the long run because they need more treatments to sort it out.

"Pay cheap, pay twice" as they say....

BobbyBiscuits · 07/03/2024 07:29

Being 'told off' by someone who you are paying hundreds of hard earned cash is not a nice feeling. Definitely don't go back.

Hairdressers obviously don't like box dye as it's basically their competition. But she should have said it in a constructive way, maybe saying that the box dye makes the process take longer, more damage to hair or something. But not in a moany, aggressive way.

There are plenty of lovely hairdressers who would never moan at you. Mine have every right to moan as I sometimes leave it 2 years between visits (financial reasons mainly but since lockdown I've gone back to my natural colour). When he next sees me he will have to start from scratch pretty much, but that's their job. It's a service industry and if they don't seem happy carrying out the service then it's not worth the hassle.

newyear2024 · 07/03/2024 07:30

I used to do the same thing when I was very blonde OP, my hairdresser never had a problem with it. The box dye didn't life my hair as much as the bleach, but it did give me some time in between colours and saved me some money.

The blonde box dyes only lift a certain amount and usually leave hair a bit yellow/orange but as you are covering your full roots maybe she's annoyed that she can't match up where her previous highlights were? She perhaps is worried she is bleaching on top of bleach, whereas she would probably want to be matching up to her previous highlights areas which she can't now as she's working against a now full head coverage above the highlights x

Gotmytrombolese · 07/03/2024 07:40

Crikey, lucky you if the box dye blondes work on your hair, I used them a couple of times when I was about 18 and they turned my hair a ghastly shade of orange and it became brittle and straw-like! I ended up being forced to cut my hair into a bob (my daily use of ghds probably didn't do me any favours either).

They are terrible for your hair, especially if not applied by a professional! I feel you can get away with it more if you are a brunette as it's not as damaging and doesn't look as obvious. A lot of the time though, I hate to say, it is obvious when someone has used a box dye, especially those shades of red that tend to leave a stain on the scalp.

Any colour you have on your hair previously makes an impact on the final result. Your hairdresser was probably concerned about how your application of box dyes would affect her final result and was probably concerned that you would complain/leave a negative online review with a picture of your hair not looking as desired so I kind of see where she is coming from. But of course there is no need to be rude, if you feel uncomfortable, don't visit her again. But please stop using blonde box dyes, your hair will thank you! 😊

Alargeoneplease89 · 07/03/2024 08:02

I've had mixed reactions from hairdressers over this, the ones that scold me, don't get my business again especially when all they are doing is cutting my hair.

I am very self conscious about my hair as due to medication and chemo it grows funny and I always make my hairdresser aware of this, yet some still like to moan that my hair is boxed dyed or I'm not using expensive heat protection. I'm normally water off a duck's back kinda person but for some reason when it comes to my hair, I take it personally.

JasmineJewels · 07/03/2024 08:15

Thanks for your replies. To the person who said maybe I was over sensitive because I was anxious, I don’t think I was. I can tell when someone’s being rude/ abrupt with me and she definitely was.

The weird thing is that I’ve been to her before after box dyeing and she seemed ok. My hair is basically bullet proof and lifts well whatever has happened 😂 especially once toner has been used. So I don’t know why she was moody suddenly. She knows I wouldn’t give her a bad review online, I’m not like that and I’m never picky about what I want with exact colours etc. I just wanted it to blend.

It has made me reconsider using box dyes because of the unknown ingredients. I know a bit about colour from reading online so I might order a professional colour with developer myself in the meantime (not bleach).

OP posts:
hangingonfordearlife1 · 07/03/2024 08:22

What do people think is in the box die?? its just a cream developer and a colour.....exactly what the hairdressers use theyjust mix it themselves.

ladygindiva · 07/03/2024 08:23

I've had the same conversation with my hairdresser but she was very polite and patiently explained why it affects the highlights.

hangingonfordearlife1 · 07/03/2024 08:26

JanetareyouokareyouokJanet · 07/03/2024 01:22

Box dyes are really awful for the hair and to work with, I wouldn’t do someone’s hair that you basically have to correct every time they come in. She’s not unreasonable.

cost of living has nothing to do with it. You wouldn’t want to be correcting bodged work in Your own career because people cut corners.

such rubbish, my sister has had her own salon for 30 years. I worked in it myself as a student. I always use box dyes and my hair is healthy and a natural colour...not orange because ive been taught by my sister what numbers to use. Ive never been to a salon other than my sister, but now live to far...always get compliments and frankly wouldnt trust anyone else with my hair.

Lampslights · 07/03/2024 08:26

hangingonfordearlife1 · 07/03/2024 08:22

What do people think is in the box die?? its just a cream developer and a colour.....exactly what the hairdressers use theyjust mix it themselves.

Absolutely. Can’t believe folks are buying the gumph some hairdressers are selling. Box dye is fine used correctly and everyone knows it.

and if a new client went in with box dyed hair they’d happily colour it without a murmur.

LookItsMeAgain · 07/03/2024 08:42

@JasmineJewels - I would go back, not as a client but more for a chat and explain to her that you will no longer be a client of hers because of how she spoke with you about using a box dye between visits and how a hairdresser worth their salt would work with their client and not against their client. As a client, you can't afford to visit her ever 6 weeks or more frequently and if it's more frequently, why is that?
Sometimes I feel that hairdressers in salons build in the effectiveness of the colours they apply so that they know how long it will last. It's almost along the lines of appliance manufacturers giving you a 2 yr guarantee and then 2 yrs +3 days the appliance goes kaput!
Hairdressers have a captive audience so when you've finished having a chat with her about how she behaved and made you feel, then I'd get up and walk out and find another salon/hairdresser that you can get your roots done.

A suggestion would be find out where and when a salon runs their training for new stylists as they regularly want models (random people) to try their skills on in a classroom environment. The colour would be supervised and it's usually at quite a reduced rate. You could still get your bits done but it wouldn't cost the same as getting it from a qualified stylist. Might that be an option for you?

CactusMactus · 07/03/2024 08:51

Just find a different hairdresser. You're paying for the service and the experience. It should be nice...

YouJustDoYou · 07/03/2024 09:06

I hate it when hairdressers do this. For fucks sake, not all of us can afford bloody £80 hair dye sessions and the judgement can fuck right off.

WorkingLateAgain · 07/03/2024 09:14

Silly cow. She doesn’t own you or your hair. Her job is to do the best with what she has in front of her on the day. I’d find a new hairdresser.

UnbelievableLie · 07/03/2024 09:23

This is why I've stopped using my last hairdresser, I felt like every appointment was a lecture and and upsell on some expensive product they were trying to flog. Wasn't going to keep paying so much money for something I dreaded to attend.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 07/03/2024 09:27

Do you think she was tone deaf to say this in the middle of a cost of living crisis? Not everyone has the money to pay £70+ for their hair every 6 weeks. I understand it can be frustrating when clients use box dye but I didn’t find her reaction very professional.

not quite the point. B it every 6 weeks? how is that actually necessary? I wouldn’t have expected that for a dark blonde simply brightening up her hair. Or are you going very light / bright? Is she blending your highlights?

I’m also a dark blonde btw. And I’m currently growing out my full head of highlights.

Which my hairdresser always blended up perfectly with my hairline, going a bit lighter towards the bottom (a very natural ombre effect).

It would take her about about 5 hours but I definitely didn’t need to go back every six weeks. it actually looked great whilst it was growing out, so once a year probably would have been enough!

Although I usually went about 3 times.

KimberleyClark · 07/03/2024 09:30

Box dyes simply don’t cover up the amount of grey I have. So I don’t use them. My hairdresser recommends a root touch up spray in between visits to him.

CKL987 · 07/03/2024 10:28

This is not a response to your original post but have you seen the root sprays that are available? I use it in between appointments and it is great. L'Oréal do a version and stores do there own.

Ginnnny · 07/03/2024 10:28

Hairdressers will always encourage you not to use box dye - as she said, it makes her job harder and it's more damaging than the products they use. Maybe you could go to her more often?

purplecorkheart · 07/03/2024 10:55

My hairdresser hates box dyes too but acknowledges that people cannot afford to get their hair done as often as they like and offers a touch up of hairline and parting a few weeks in to avoid the need for box dye. He charges a minor amount for this. He never lectures but does explain why he hates box dyes.

pootlin · 07/03/2024 10:56

Do box dyes really ruin hair? I'm getting a few greys so was tempted to try it but now not so sure.

buzzlightyearsaway · 07/03/2024 10:58

She's right . Stop dying your own hair

MarkWithaC · 07/03/2024 11:08

Very unprofessional and rude.
So what if it makes it a bigger job for her because she has to do a colour correction or whatever? Presumably that just means she can charge you more.
My hair place are very pragmatic about this sort of thing and will happily say, 'if you like it, keep doing it; it's just more expensive if we do it for you.'
I'd go elsewhere.

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