Are the majority of men assholes?

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

Firstly I'm not a man hater - I've been married twice and am still married. But increasingly I'm starting to think that the vast majority of men are arseholes or display some kind of arsehole behaviour. Example this morning, but there are lots more.

Swimming at the gym, all lanes empty except the one I'm swimming in. Bloke gets into my lane and does splashy front crawl, almost whacking me in the face with his big meaty arm every time he passes me. So I move lanes, because obvs he's more important than me and should have his favourite lane to himself. 🙄

After my swim I go for a quick jacuzzi - this is a 10 person jacuzzi with three men already in there taking up every available space with their arms stretched across the back of the jacuzzi as far as possible. So I approach thinking one of them will make space for me. Erm no - I have to force myself in and get dirty looks for daring to go into their 'man space.'

Contrast this with the very polite behaviour of MOST of the women who use my gym.

I'm happy to say my DH is in the small minority of men who aren't aresholes (although he's by no means perfect - who is?) But if anything happens to him I will happily remain single and sexless for the rest of my days rather than try to find another decent man. (Also worth saying my first husband was a narcissist and I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire!)

I think the majority of people are assholes 😂😂😂

I've seen awful behaviour from both genders out and about..perhaps certain places are triggering for the inner asshole 😅 as it also happens to be the gym/spa ive had men try and boot me out the jacuzzi..but some woman in the supermarket 😬😬😬

People of both sexes can be unpleasant. Men are socialised to think they have the right to take up space. I'd wager that men who go to gyms are on average less considerate and kind.

I think it's more that you remember the negative encounters and forget the ones where people act as they should (because why would that stay in your memory). Only the really amazing positive acts stay in your mind.

There are a fair number of assholes of both sexes.

DH and I went for a night away at a hotel that had a very nice but very small spa - the jacuzzi was completely taken over by a group of women on a girls break, gaffawing loudly and preventing anyone else using the jacuzzi for over an hour.

Assholery isn’t limited to males.

@chocolatesaltyballs22 I also lane swim and there is one woman who always picks my lane - does not matter how many other lanes are empty. All the men who lane swim go into an empty lane, so not just men.

This made me lol! Ewww a jacuzzi with lots of meaty men in there? Hope you’re taking precautions OP 🤢
Also agree with some PPs, anyone can be an arsehole at times - sounds like you had an unlucky day 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think they feel that they are more entitled to the space.

I've noticed that when I am walking down the street, if I am walking towards a man, and it's obvious that one of you will need to move aside to get past each other, it is always ME that moves.

But no, they're not all assholes ; DH and DS are wonderful, and kind and all round good men.

I find women just as bad tbh just have to come on MN to see women are just as vile and unpleasant

I have also noticed on our local FB pages, that any sarcastic comments are always from middle aged men, who think that they are funny, but the reality is that they are just rude.

We had an elderly lady here who organised a talking group - the number of men who wrote horrible messages on her page was astounding.

With things like the swimming pool and jacuzzi and gym I think a lot of it is socialisation: girls and women are socialised to try to be small and inconspicuous and not take up much space in the world in a way that boys and men simply aren’t. Because they don’t have that pummelled into them from a young age, they’re just used to spreading out and using physical space how they like.

Virtually all of the men I know (and I know a lot) are really great guys, albeit with some flaws.

Ewww a jacuzzi with lots of meaty men in there? Hope you’re taking precautions OP 🤢

What?

Almost THE exact same issues I had yesterday believe it or not !!!!!!!

firstly, I had to sit in the car for a few minutes in the car park whilst I did stuff on my phone. I watched not 1 but 2 men speed into the car park and park in parent and child spaces. There were no children to be seen. And when I walked past their cars there were no baby seats or boosters even in the cars. So I did what I always do when i see this happen. I put their window wipers up ha. Meanwhile every woman I saw park, parked in a regular car parking space.

i got in the pool and selected the farthest away lane as most men are lazy and go to the closest one. I watched as a bunch of men got in the nearest lane with an older woman who was taking her time having a nice relaxed swim and they all get in heavily making as much splash and noise as possible, and proceed to do in my opinion the worst display of swimming known to man (ha ha). The aggression 😳

then I go to the steam room and every single man that enters either slams the door shut or open. Then one proceeded to do the loudest breathing and snorting and exhaling I’ve ever heard???? I popped out to blast myself with the cold shower and when I went back into the steam room one of the men was lying flat out ON HIS BELLY on the bench ?!!????? With his face on it??!! Firstly - that’s disgusting. Secondly, taking up pretty much 3 spaces.

Yes! We have this too. The local thickos desperate to be popular by bullying others online.

I don’t know if it’s the majority, but there’s certainly a lot of crap men out there.

I find most will move and be polite to me in situations like you’ve described, (although in some cases I think it’s because they’re being pervy) because they are nice enough on the surface, it’s when you get to know them a bit more that they reveal they’re arseholes.

Maybe it's also because I'm a 'woman of a certain age' and not deemed worth of their attention.

I fucking hate splashy loud male swimmers with their arms flapping everywhere. Gives me the absolute rage.

I do concede that there are also arsehole women though.

My birth father is and my ex partners were one of them father of my children and my adoptive father is doing a good job of being like one too.

Finding a good man is like coming across a rare and endangered animal L.o.l 😂

I agree women can be arseholes too

Just like some men can be

Went to a pub quiz a few weeks ago
3 females/2 males
The males over rided 3 of my answers, with guffaws and little snippy comments and put forward their own answers
Mine were correct, theirs weren't
I'm still bloody seething
Men?
Nah not a fan

@Notmollybutdolly We have similar issues in our gym, but the women.

There are several women who lie flat in the sauna in micro bikinis taking up at least 3 spaces each. The men mostly are okay.

Yanbu. I become more and more aware of it every day, especially now my TikTok algorithm seems to want to show me feminist content, which has opened my eyes to so much. My new favourite podcast is the “f the nice guy” podcast (and her TikTok content is fab too). Many people arseholes but many men really do take it to the next level

It’s just that in the steam room it’s the one with the wet steam so that seats are all wet with sweat steam and god knows what else why would you LIE in that??!? I suppose in the sauna it’s dry heat so it doesn’t seem as rank to lie in.

If we are talking about gyms then, I'm afraid, I have as many bad experiences with women in mine. Especially, young women who train in packs, hog the equipment, take videos, then check how many likes they had on IG, scatter their belongings around, putting their makeup on for ages in front of the only available blow dryer etc.
There are inconsiderate people of both sexes. I would have no trouble asking the men in jacuzzi to squeeze up and give me space, though.

My friends ex husband is the biggest arsehole I've ever known

I work in retail and if a customer is difficult or rude then 80+% of the time it will be a man. If I'm feeling particularly annoyed then I do call them out on it - some apologise but most just scuttle off.
I've thought about it frequently as to why it's getting worse but haven't been able to put my finger on exactly why but it's a mix of things I think. A lot of it is men just trying to put us 'bitches' back in our 'correct' place - you know the place we were in until the 1980's where we were servile and quiet. I have a silent battle with a man who catches my morning bus. Regardless of who gets to the stop first he will always get on first and is physically stepping in front of me so that he does. Bizarrely we don't even want the same seats as he always wants the back and I always sit at the front - I have started saying "after you" when he gets on though but although he hears me there's no reaction - shameless twat!

If war starts we wont have to worry over men as they will all be signed up.
Problem solved.