Are the majority of men assholes?

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

Firstly I'm not a man hater - I've been married twice and am still married. But increasingly I'm starting to think that the vast majority of men are arseholes or display some kind of arsehole behaviour. Example this morning, but there are lots more.

Swimming at the gym, all lanes empty except the one I'm swimming in. Bloke gets into my lane and does splashy front crawl, almost whacking me in the face with his big meaty arm every time he passes me. So I move lanes, because obvs he's more important than me and should have his favourite lane to himself. 🙄

After my swim I go for a quick jacuzzi - this is a 10 person jacuzzi with three men already in there taking up every available space with their arms stretched across the back of the jacuzzi as far as possible. So I approach thinking one of them will make space for me. Erm no - I have to force myself in and get dirty looks for daring to go into their 'man space.'

Contrast this with the very polite behaviour of MOST of the women who use my gym.

I'm happy to say my DH is in the small minority of men who aren't aresholes (although he's by no means perfect - who is?) But if anything happens to him I will happily remain single and sexless for the rest of my days rather than try to find another decent man. (Also worth saying my first husband was a narcissist and I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire!)

Yet another person who doesn’t listen to women’s experiences.

No there aren’t statistics for how many men are arseholes but we do know 97% of killers are men and that 87% of assaults are carried out by men.

So that probably gives you an idea of what the problem is - men.

I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday.

The more men that get killed, the safer the world is for women.

Awful, but true.

I think if you go swimming you need to accept the possiblility you might be splashed. Also if the lanes are staggered for speeds he may have felt the need to join you in the 'correct' lane.

Why should I not be able to swim and enjoy my gym's facilities though? Unfortunately they don't run women only sessions so that would mean I can't enjoy the sport I love. It's bullshit.

Am actually pleasantly surprised by the amount of agreement - I half expected to be called a man-hater. And yes, I have noticed this earlier in life but I think the combination of being older, wiser and not to mention menopausal which means I take less shit these days makes me a lot more pissed off about it. I also think there's an age thing at play here - if a woman isn't young or attractive enough for a man to hit on, then they're not worth their consideration at all.

I totally got that. Sorry if that wasn't clear!

I am a good, but not amazing, swimmer. I usually choose the middle option for swimming. The number of men who choose the fast lane when they clearly are not fast, is always astonishing to me. It's 'the assumption that they MUST be fast because they're men. Even more so when I am the only one in the middle lane so there's plenty of space for them to join me as I am going at the same speed, or slightly faster, than them while the genuinely fast swimmers in the fast lane (usually women in this context) are powering ahead. They're just getting in the way.

Ok so you need to play patriarchy chicken here.

stay firm. Do not sidestep, stare straight ahead. How very dare they bump into you 🤣

I wouldn’t say majority or not, like others have met both, I will say women on the school runs are the most arseholey drivers😅

Nope, I am a medium swimmer who was in the medium lane. He was (slightly) faster than me, so should probably have gone into the (empty) fast lane.

DH works in gyms. He says it's a constant issue with men giving unnecessary advice and/or comments to the women. There was a situation a few months ago where two women approached one of his colleagues to say they'd left the gym area early as a man had been staring at them the entire time. They pointed the man out and colleague went over to have a word. The man was furious as apparently he'd decided he liked their form so was getting tips AND he felt very strongly that the women had behaved super badly by not talking to him if they had a problem....

The more men that get killed, the safer the world is for women.

What a disgusting comment and don't try to cover yourself under the 'safe' reason. I'm guessing you include your own son, father, husband and male relatives too?

To be fair, my initial post probably wasn’t very clear - I wasn’t suggesting that men should go all out if it’s likely they would actually injure their opponents/ team mates, but my post did read a bit that way!

When I used to swim, this drove me wild too. If I was in the fast lane and someone joined who was faster than me, I would move down a lane so as not to slow them down, but the arrogant men were always happy to put themselves in the faster lanes if it meant holding women up 🙄

💯 agree, awful but true.

When my abusive brother died, I was sad for a life half lived, but a part of me was relieved.

Nice to see how low women’s safety ranks with you

And yes, women are safer without men. 97% of killers are men.

@Bubbleohseven what a vile comment, will you put your male relatives front of the firing line?

You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself!

DH and I were in a large Waitrose late Saturday morning. It was quite busy. The number of older men who were just barging around, expecting the women to get out of their way was hilarious. DH spent the entire time shaking his head - we don't usually shop together so he's just never seen it.

Then at one point, I did sort of accidentally get in the way of someone (a man) and the man was all huffy and DH had his first ever experience of understanding why sometimes I just can't be assed to kill myself getting out of the way as whether I do or not I'm going to be barged around!

And just like that we’ve reached the proposed extermination of men 🫣

I’d settle for challenging them verbally and refusing to let them push women around, personally. We don’t need to shoot them all just yet!

Yes they are.

I don't care about being splashed. But I do care about his big fucking meaty arm coming millimetres from hitting my face every time he passes me because a) his front crawl tecnique is shite, and b) he's unable to keep to his side of the lane as he passes me.

@Ktime your safety ranks way below my son's safety!!

Urgh don't get me started on men and swimming lanes, I stopped going int he end because I was fed up of constantly getting thumped and kicked and having tsunami waves of water getting wooshed at me every time they'd go whaling past.

Sadly for you, I am happily married and I had to sift thru lots of shitty men to get there.

And I don’t give a shit what you want me to have. How fucking arrogant that you think you can have a say.

Get a grip you and don’t be so obsequious to men.

O my on Mumsnet could swimming incorrectly lead to mad posters deciding they should be exterminated!

God help us!