Are the majority of men assholes?

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

Firstly I'm not a man hater - I've been married twice and am still married. But increasingly I'm starting to think that the vast majority of men are arseholes or display some kind of arsehole behaviour. Example this morning, but there are lots more.

Swimming at the gym, all lanes empty except the one I'm swimming in. Bloke gets into my lane and does splashy front crawl, almost whacking me in the face with his big meaty arm every time he passes me. So I move lanes, because obvs he's more important than me and should have his favourite lane to himself. 🙄

After my swim I go for a quick jacuzzi - this is a 10 person jacuzzi with three men already in there taking up every available space with their arms stretched across the back of the jacuzzi as far as possible. So I approach thinking one of them will make space for me. Erm no - I have to force myself in and get dirty looks for daring to go into their 'man space.'

Contrast this with the very polite behaviour of MOST of the women who use my gym.

I'm happy to say my DH is in the small minority of men who aren't aresholes (although he's by no means perfect - who is?) But if anything happens to him I will happily remain single and sexless for the rest of my days rather than try to find another decent man. (Also worth saying my first husband was a narcissist and I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire!)

"
Assholery isn’t limited to males"

No, but there is a certain type of entitled behaviour that is very male because they're socialised that way. The way, unless there are there are specific rules to stop it, boys playing football tend to take over school playgrounds.

Women are just as bad. In my experience it's often women who don't stop at zebra crossings or speed up when approaching, also not acknowledging when you give way to them when driving.

Also it's usually women who take up some of the left lane when turning right at a junction thereby not allowing any cars behind to take a left turn.

Also when I'm crossing a road it's very rare that a woman will slow down and wave me across. Nearly always men.

This is in MY experience.

Obviously there are arse hole male drivers too.

Spot on. The rudest and most entitled behaviour I’ve ever witnessed was from a pair of women.

Occasionally I think (most) men are OK, but other days I do think the majority are all arseholes yes. Moreso than women. And society treats women like second class citizens, and men do add to that!!!

Yesterday, I am walking through the aisles in Morrisons and a 6 ft manspreading goon knocks me flying in the aisle. The aisle was 10 ft wide but nooo he had to walk so close to me that he was touching me, and knocks me flying. As a pp said, many of them feel like they're entitled to the space around them.

I also get men practically piggybacking me to reach something on the shelves, when I am looking at something. They NEVER say 'excuse me please....' They just HAVE to slither into your personal space.

I have had the men dominating the swimming pool lanes too!

Also get men shoving me forward in the queue, and had one behind me in the supermarket queue (aged around 40,) last week who said 'I only have 3 items, so I should go first really.. I had 5 items! I said 'well I only have 2 more items than you, so I'm going to say no.' Then I turned away. Only to be calling a 'fucking old cow' by him as he stormed off.

I get middle aged men looking at me like I'm a piece of shit, or ignoring me like I don't exist. Marching around, knocking me sideways, and glaring at me if I get in their way. (I am mid 50s.)

Male neighbour commented to my DH in the summer when I was gardening 'why is she doing that, shouldn't she be cooking for you?' He COMPLETELY ignored me!^ (The 1950s are THAT way! >>>)

Entitled men demand that us women smile for them and look pretty and girly and sweet, and want us to be busty, slim, hot and sexy. But then want us to look like a handmaid when we're in a relationship with them, (so other men won't look at us.) And sometimes go into a dark mood if we talk to other men.

Men are better paid for doing less, and get more breaks and promotions at work. As Karren Brady said once, 'women have to work twice as hard to be thought of as half as good.'

Domestic shit is foisted on the women in the family/extended family, and boys/sons are allowed to do fuck-all, whilst the women look after older family members.

Men do fuck all in the house, and very little childcare, and it's accepted by society, because it's 'wimmins work.'

Men are prioritized for medical shit. I have lost count of the amount of times I have been to the GP for something that has been 'referred' at the same time DH has, and he has been seen before me. MONTHS before. His meds are always ready first when ordered online, and when we have covid or flu jabs booked together, HE is called in first. His name is always on everything first. HE is always classed as the most important one by society. Other men look to him before me for opinions and views, and practically ignore me. My ideas and thoughts are ignored.

Even in fucking 2024 in the UK it feels like women are no further ahead than we were 100 years ago. We even have the word 'woman' classed as a dirty word by some. We are people with uteruses, and people who menstruate. I never see men called 'people with penises.' We have also had the word 'actress' taken away. Now all actresses are fucking ACTORS. And the best female singer category has gone from The Brits .. It's like women are being eradicated!

Then we have the fact that the vast majority of domestic and sexual abuse, and pedophilia, and murders, and assaults are committed by men ...

And don't even get me started on MALE DRIVERS, and how they ALL think they are better than female ones.

AND the fact that all men think every idea they have is better than any woman's idea!!! 'Nooooo wumman, know your place. How very DARE you have an idea (a good one at that!) that I didn't think of.'

It's not hard to see why some women fucking hate men! A lot of them are rude, entitled, lazy, sexist arseholes, and society favours them over women CONSTANTLY!

The 'well women can be arseholes too' brigade need to start their own thread. This thread isn't ABOUT WOMEN!!! FFS. 🙄

/

I mean, if we're going to play that game I can certainly list plenty of women I've met who were total cunts.

I think I can say truthfully that I don't think there is a gender divide for cuntish behaviour. Most people are just pretty awful.

It really varies depending on your circle of acquaintances. My friend has lots of female cousins, nieces etc. Every single one of them have married complete arseholes: they're all cheats, crap dads, useless around the house etc. I can understand why my friend thinks all men are bastards - that's all she's known.
However, in my own circle of friends and relations all the men are lovely- really decent, good, kind guys. I honestly can't think of a bad one. Also my own experience of men throughout life has been 99% good. All my male colleagues, neighbours are great. Obviously, I've met plenty of arseholes over the years but to be honest I think I've had more problems with women over the years. It was girls and women who have made my life difficult at school and work. I've been beaten up twice as a teenager when minding my own business. Both times by girls. So no, I don't think women are any better than men.

Lots of people are arseholes.

This. Personally I think women can be greater ones! Most of the men I have encountered in my life have been great.

Are you as angry as this in real life @SweetBirdsong? Because if you are I can see why you find life such a challenge.

The swimming pool observation is spot on.

Women are considerate of others and consciously work together so all can make use of the communal space and swim so that no one gets kicked or pushed out.

Men take over and don't give a shit about anyone else using their physical strength to force others out the way. I always sigh when I see a man get in our small local pool and start kicking old ladies and the disabled kids out the way. Just fuck off and go to the gym you twat.

We have also had the word 'actress' taken away. Now all actresses are fucking ACTORS. And the best female singer category has gone from The Brits .. It's like women are being eradicated!

I thought female actors objected to the word actress because it's sexist! Female doctors aren't called doctresses are they.

Everything in your OP is because you've started to notice. Plenty of people can get through life without really seeing this behaviour for what it is, entitlement. It's easier for men not to see it. Some women don't want to see it. Once you do it is very hard not to notice it everywhere, like a curtain has been drawn back.

Could have written that myself

First I've heard of it. I have never heard an actress complain about being called an actress. I will always call them actresses, and it really jars me when people call women ACTORS.

In my experience yes men are assholes. I thought I'd found a good one at last but as soon as I needed support he dropped the act. Seems he's only interested in making an effort when he's getting more out the relationship than me as soon as effort is required he got lazy and selfish. Clearly he was always that way but before I got sick I'd not had it highlighted. It's left me thinking when women say not all men are like that that maybe they haven't had their relationship tested enough yet or they have never needed to take out of a relationship more than they are putting in

I thought this was going to be about violent crime, in which case I would agree that men are the worst offenders and far more likely to rape, assault and do all manner of shit things.

In re gym behaviour, I have had the same from women.

Exactly this. ^ The level of entitlement from some men is breathtaking, and it worries me that some women don't see it/won't see it/refuse to see it. Makes my blood boil that some women are not a lot more angry about it!

As I said, the fact society endorses it doesn't help!

Erm no it's both sides

The majority of men were raised to put themselves first. They do that without thinking, it’s ingrained. Women are raised to put other people first and to think they are transgressing if they act in their own best interest.

I've certainly noticed this on our local Facebook page; it's 95% men who make stupid/nasty remarks on (mostly ) women's posts. I've seen more arsehole behaviour from men than women. I'm also remaining single if widowed/divorced. DH is a decent bloke so I'm lucky. Met a few arseholes befor him though!!

Cate Blanchett and Whoopi Goldberg for two. I suggest you Google this topic, there's plenty out there.

Hear hear! Couldn't have put it better myself.

Top comment so far on this thread 👏

I wouldn't say that they are necessarily more arseholish than women but they are socialised to be much more comfortable taking up space and exploiting others (mostly women) so their arsehole behaviour is often more obvious.

For example, I've never seen a woman loudly berate her partner in public because the kids won't sit still/are making mess/misbehaving because women don't seem to think their own children's behaviour is someone else's responsibility. Whereas I've seen several men do this.

All the men I know are fine. Married to a lovely one for near on 50 years. Some men I like better than others, but the same goes for women. There seem to be a lot of anti-man posts on MN.