Do you think men seeing escorts is common?

[JaneyGee]

I was just reading the ‘do you think affairs are common?’ thread, and it made me wonder about sex workers. Do you think it’s more common for married men to visit escorts than to have full-blown affairs? Maybe I’m completely wrong, but I’ve known several women (all friends of friends) who’ve caught their husbands messaging or googling local escorts. It’s just so ridiculously easy these days. A man can lay in bed and scroll through dozens of local prostitutes on his phone. His wife could be asleep next to him as he does so. If a married man wants more sex, an escort is a much quicker and easier way to get what he wants. He’s also less likely to be caught.

I’ve heard married men at work joke about visiting escorts. Whenever one of them has to go abroad for a few weeks on business, the others joke about looking up the local escorts, or having escorts come to the hotel, etc. Somehow, they don’t quite feel like jokes. Sad thing is, I generally like these men. They have always been very pleasant to me, and don’t come across as seedy or lechy.

If one percent is the figure I think that’s high. It means that one in a hundred men regularly use prostitutes. Soo you probably know at least one man who used prostitutes.

No, I don't think its common. I can think of loads of men who've had affairs but can only think of one that I know has used a prostitute.

I'm male, and I wouldn't do it because it's abhorrent and morally wrong, but even if you stripped all morality out of it, the STI risk, and the idea that I'd be having sex with someone who may have already had sex with 2 or 3 other people that day would completely put me off.

I'm not making any value judgments about sex workers here, people do what they have to do to survive. And it's not some homophobic thing, that I don't want my dick somewhere there's already been a dick. I'm bisexual.

If I'm married and having an affair with a married woman, then I can be (reasonably) confident that the only STI risk is from me, my wife, the other woman, or the other womans husband. The number of possible STI vectors when sleeping with prositutes is far higher.

I reckon there's a lot of men who'd have no problems having an affair for moral reasons. I reckon there's a lot of men who'd balk at the fact they have to pay for it. But I reckon the most common reason men won't do it is that they just find the idea of it a bit grim.

I’m absolutely astounded at the level of nativity on here. Use of prostitutes & escorts is absolutely RIFE and in every corner of the UK. Every type of man from all walks of life. I’m not saying 100% of men do it but waayyy more than you think do. Way way more.Men you know- coworkers, male friends, friend’s husbands. Pop up brothels are everywhere now because there is massive demand. Trafficking is a bigger problem than it ever was. It’s normalised amongst men. Since my engagement ended years ago when I found out my fiancé regularly visited prostitutes whilst working away I have looked into this extensively mainly to make sense of what happened and I realise it’s extremely common just men keep it hush. I learnt that my work mates (professional job) my brothers mates (my bros don’t own up to it themselves to me of course but tell me about their mates on nights out & work trips). The men in my exs family talked about it casually with each other- they’d do it when on holiday or when wife/girlfriend out or away. My ex would tell me. Male friends tell me when Iv asked it’s what a LOT of regular guys they know do. My female workmates tell me their husband admitted they did it when single. Iv read a lot of online chats about it, discussions & a lot of articles too. Morbid curiosity after what happened to me.
Most women seem to think it’s a stereotype creep that does it but it’s not. It’s professional men, high flying men, army men, policemen, bin men, office men, family men, students, teachers etc etc I hate to say it but a vast lot of you would find your man has done this at least once but more likely a few times or even habitually. Doesn’t matter how good your sex life is if a man can fuck more women and get away with it they will. It’s so freely available & discreet these days there are many many websites. So many. They can’t help themselves when it comes to sex. It’s a sad reality I guess a man with a low sex drive is less likely to do this. Sorry to be negative but I’m afraid this is a reality.

@wellhello24 absolutely 100% spot on

I think 1% is much lower than reality and I probably know dozens of men who've used prostitutes. I can think of four men I know who've admitted it and, of course, most won't admit to it.

No, I think that's rubbish tbh. A poster upthread posted the stats as only 1% so it's not rife at all.

Perhaps it's your social circles/location/age but it's absolutely not the norm. Your perspective is obviously skewed by your awful experience but that only makes it your reality, not the actual reality. There's just no need really. People can get it without paying.

Saying men can't help themselves is infantalizing and is making excuses. Lots of men would never cheat let alone use a prostitute. There's one on here on an anonymous forum who explained why.

i know the author is not excatly popular on here , the books secret diary of a call girl, but im guessing in the city etc its prob quite common @JaneyGee

Not rubbish at all- as I said Iv researched it and it is rife across all types/walks of life. Not just the people in my circles at all. Keep your head in the sand if you want. You cannot deny the extensive prevalence of pop up brothels and escort directories and the major problem we now have with women being trafficked into this country. It’s not about the social circles I live in at all- it’s all circles- there is no “type” of man- the men that use prostitutes vary wildly in their background and you are incredibly naive thinking otherwise. Also it’s not infantilising men to say they can’t help themselves when it comes to sex- it’s a strong primal urge for them and where they can do it in secret with no repercussions they absolutely will and do. As I said it’s not 100% of men it’s certainly a majority though.

You obviously move in different circles of men than I do because this is completely different to my experience. By the way I think the majority of men who have used a prostitute will have done it to lose their cherry and then never again. Most blokes do NOT ever want to be ‘sloppy seconds’ as the poster above alluded.

Totally abnormal.

And you should leave your job. The men you work with are ALL seedy.

Gross I don’t think it’s common. I have never heard any of my male friends or colleagues “joking” about this sort of thing. I wouldn’t find it funny at all.

chances are majority would usually keep such activities secret or only a select few

Most men on Tinder can barely get a date though, they'll find it easier to just use escorts. It's whether they have the moral fortitude not to.

It's 1000x easier for women to get sex than it is for most men, which creates the demand.

@wellhello24 would most men admit to it? 1% is bullshit!

It's very common.

THIS! honestly, the naivety is unreal.

exactly, they are hardly going to brag,

I have some knowledge of this area, cutting to the chase there are a lot of middle class men who do this on business trips etc, but I’d be surprised if it was more than one in ten or even as much as that.

You think the majority of men who visit prostitutes do it to lose their virginity?

That's a particularly implausible thing to believe. Where on earth did you get that idea from?

There are sex workers all over the world, and thousands across the UK. There's an entire industry that wouldn't be sustained without significant numbers of customers (and certainly wouldn't survive as a one-off virginity taking service).

As others have commented, naivety and ignorance abounds regarding these issues. It's estimated that 12% of UK males have visited a sex worker. If you think that those 12% are concentrated in a demographic category of men that you're sheltered from by your social status, you are mistaken.

Id say its more common for men with zero game and ability to pull a woman - not including the 'lads banter' in amsterdam that teenagers do etc. I know some very highly sexed males who have never ever paid for anything sexual because they simply dont need to. A number of the men im thinking of would be able to scroll their phonebooks to get an easy shag, go to a bar and definitely pull a woman, jeez i know one who can go to a house on a call out job, take the womans number and secure sex with her pretty soon after. I have many male cousins and friends and also had a bar as a business, ive heard many a conversation over this subject and its never the handsome guys with good game, its the opposite. Maybe with the exception of a guy who wants to cheat but hasnt got time outside his relationship to faciliate it / too scared to have a woman who will want to text etc because his partner will find out.

I’m saying the percentage of men who use/have used prostitutes is low - numbers from 1% to 12% have been quoted in this thread - and of those, the most common reason (in my opinion) will be virgins who are keen to lose it. Most of the sex workers will be kept in business by a tiny overall proportion of men because even if it’s 12% then that means that more than 7 out of 8 men don’t use them. And of the 1 out of 8 who do, not all will be married - I guess most wouldn’t be. So to answer the OP’s concerns - no, most married men don’t use escorts, and most men of any type don’t either.

How would we possibly know? It's not like people would talk about it openly. Although men possibly might to each other

No, I think it is very uncommon

Yep. I’ve always worked in male dominated industries, and I can tell you ‘nice’ men most certainly do use prostitutes. I’ve seen it all and it ain’t nice. Married, every one of them.

I'm an escort and I can assure you it's very very common. They don't all come across as letchy or seedy either...most of them very normal....

Factually it’s rare

so no, I don’t think it’s common because I bother to research instead of taking anecdotal evidence