Do you think men seeing escorts is common?

[JaneyGee]

I was just reading the ‘do you think affairs are common?’ thread, and it made me wonder about sex workers. Do you think it’s more common for married men to visit escorts than to have full-blown affairs? Maybe I’m completely wrong, but I’ve known several women (all friends of friends) who’ve caught their husbands messaging or googling local escorts. It’s just so ridiculously easy these days. A man can lay in bed and scroll through dozens of local prostitutes on his phone. His wife could be asleep next to him as he does so. If a married man wants more sex, an escort is a much quicker and easier way to get what he wants. He’s also less likely to be caught.

I’ve heard married men at work joke about visiting escorts. Whenever one of them has to go abroad for a few weeks on business, the others joke about looking up the local escorts, or having escorts come to the hotel, etc. Somehow, they don’t quite feel like jokes. Sad thing is, I generally like these men. They have always been very pleasant to me, and don’t come across as seedy or lechy.

I used to live with an escort about 18 years ago. She saw the same men every week and she had a lovely lifestyle.

I used to live abroad. Men used to travel there for business and even the nicest and most respectable of them were sleeping with either expats, locals or hookers.

Define "common"?

>50% or 75% or 20%?

Given the amount of sex workers advertising online, there must be a demand for their services.

I would say it is common.

Prostitutes and escorts have been around forever and there is still a demand for their services so I assume many men still pay for sex at one point in their life.

I can think of many reasons for it: loneliness, a specific fetish, young men on stag dos, trouble forming emotional relationship with women irl, sexless marriages...

I also doubt surveys are that reliable on this topic as many guys won't admit to it...

@bringonyourwreckingball @Howbizarre22

No idea how common this is, but am very aware (through personal experience) just how this happens to otherwise seemingly outwardly professional and ‘normal’ men.

My ex (inc banker) was heavily into S&M and frequently visited prostitutes during our relationship. It was awful and somehow made worse by the fact that, to the outside world, we looked like a successful young couple - whereas the reality was he was living a whole other life.

I jusr wanted to ask if anyone else has experienced this or shed some light on this topic.
seeing a Escort site profile of a woman on a reading page on the IPAD, is this possible it’s appeared in the reading list alone or it more likely someone has blatantly been on this site and saved it for a rweason.
I am trying to rack my brains on this while
been told no idea how it got there etc.
thank you
Quote

When you hear hoofbeats, it’s far more likely to be horses than zebras. Unfortunately, the likelihood of somebody ending up with prostitution bookmarks saved in their devices despite never having looked at any prostitution websites is vanishingly small. Don’t let your partner try to gaslight you otherwise - it just doesn’t happen.

I know the truth deep down, it doesn’t just appear does it?? I mean all I get is he has no idea about how it appeared and someone else could of used his iPad at some point or it’s from using a Steaming site what he watches football on.. I’m sorry but that doesn’t explain a woman’s profile physically in the drop down of your reading page this means you can re read it whenever you want and it wasn’t just a pop up that he keeps stating it is. It was a click of a button and then there she was and her profile right in front of me.funny I have asked for phone billl and statements he said he will provide to me yet I still haven’t received them we are on day 5 now!!! I just don’t know what to do I am just so shocked.

No one 'knows' of men who admit to paedophilia - Yet we know the law cannot keep up with the vast amount of men watching it /making it/swapping material etc

Ergo It is the case that no one 'knows' of the men who use prostitutes. Men do not walk around with a sticker saying 'I use prostitutes'.It's hidden, secretive and certainly not admitted to except with some of the 'lads'. Therefore to get an accurate picture is almost impossible. That said I believe it is commonplace and I am astounded at the naivety here, of those who believe it isn't.

Very common

So what I am supposed to accept this being my boyfriend?? How is that being loyal to your partner it’s absolutely outrageous behaviour. Surely youv been caught out just admit it,. Not like I would ever trust him again but still be honest about it not blame someone might of used your iPad or it’s from a steaming watching football and ( NO IDEA how it got there)

All men near enough

Apparently it’s a just an advert now. What difference does it make it’s still saved. 🙈

I'm a man and I think the figures from studies, being in the 10% range for "have done so at least once" sound about right.

I post on an almost exclusively male website, where users are anonymous, and there was a poll on there not so long ago and the percentage of men who had paid for sex was lower than 10% (but there's probably an issue as to whether the site's demographic is representative of the general population).

Anecdotally, and I'm certainly not a "guy's guy" and generally have more female than male friends, I am not personally aware of any man I know having paid for sex (though I'm not naive enough to think that means that none have).

I certainly don't think it comes anywhere close to being a majority of men, let alone "most men" as some seem to think.

No. I am a man who comes from a generation ("boomers") where a man having to pay for sex was the sure and certain sign of a loser.

I don't think things have changed that much.

I just don’t know what to think all I know is you click in it and jr came straight up with the profile and a woman and in the readings tab.

I’m not sure seeing an escort is that common, although they’re hardly
going to shout it from the rooftops. Porn use is definitely hugely underestimated - I expect they pretty much all do, to a lesser or greater degree.

I'm talking about the general question, not your specific circumstances. You seem to be mistaking some people's replies to the thread to be replies to your post.

That said, for your specific circumstances...

• it is possible that the website saved itself to the reading list - certain websites (and generally, less than reputable ones) will have scripts that cause them to be automatically saved. I do view pornograpgy and pop up ads for local escorts are not uncommon - however, I have never personally had one save itself to the reading list (nor was I aware that they could, and I had to google to confrim that it is possible). Perhaps you could Google for any reports on the specific website auto-bookmarking.

• it is also possible that your "D"P used the website as porn, being excited by the notion of readily-available sex from someone round the corner and bookmarked it for future use as porn, but has not ever used a sex worker and had no intention of doing so.

If you have not already done so, you should search the device history to see if the website appears in there, then you might be able to tell whether it looks likely to have been a pop-up ad. That said, if he is using the iPad for porn, you'd think he'd use incognito mode.

There is also the very real possibility that he has been using sex workers and, just because other explanations exist does not mean that they are likely. I think you're doing the right thing asking for bank statements and alike, and I would also suggest getting yourself tested for STDs as a priority. The fact that he has taken days to produce statements that would go some way to clearing his name is a concern because you'd think that, we're he innocent, he would want to ease your fears on an urgent basis.

Thanks for the comments on this.

the Article wasn’t actually anyone local but. As I say just a profile with everything about that 1 specific person, I did also type in doodle and checked history nothing was there for it but that’s not to say he hasn’t contacted this person on the profile or worse carried this out I only hope to go not it I will never know and this is the sickening thing. Google reports not sure how you do this? But I doubt il even see his iPad again now to be able to anything with it.

yes why is it takin him days to send thisnto
me when he’s so innocent,. Don’t get it, you’re ok or honestly want to make sure you were telling your girlfriend you were innocent and actually begging or forgiveness instead I just get blame and no apology or truth.

Deffinate loser and a fool to now of lost the relationship

most men have used an escorts or sex works once in their life time.

i know several who are honest enough to admit it. Most just hiding it … even on online anonymous websites. They are lying to themselves… definitely higher than 10%

I think men are generally quite interested in this stuff. And in porn and OF etc. But I don’t think it’s common, no. I think if you’re a woman with experience of men, you know deep down whether a man is that type or not and that it generally a good idea to avoid marrying them.

Apologies, just read your update and am definitely not trying to lay any blame at your door for your husband’s actions op. I think a lot of people have some damage or a hidden side especially with sexual things and lots of us can recognise it in each other while others are genuinely just decent and nice and won’t be looking for for it.

I just don’t understand why you can’t be honest about it when iv pointed and shown your the profile of the woman, instead I don’t know what that is, no idea ho me that got there along with everything else in the reading list too. Hasn’t done anything to make me suspicious until I seen this, not really been out staying out places either so I just hope nothing has casually happened. But I def can’t trust him ever again as he’s not exactly jumping to prove me wrong just a lot of blaming and denying it. I wouldn’t have through the could do this to me and I hope it isn’t the case i really do but I just get red flags everywhere. I deserve so much better than that

Yes I believe it’s quite common. Nothing shocks me anymore, especially when it comes to men.

I live in quite a small town, but know that it’s very easy to “book” an escort. There’s a website that lists them and gives their number for booking through WhatsApp.
Some of the men even leave them reviews I read them once, purely out of interest. I laughed to myself at how utterly deluded the men are “She offered me a shower” Yeah… because she’s so repulsed by you that she needs to ensure you’ve showered before you can go near her, “I think she enjoyed it as much as I did”.

A male friend of mine told me that he used one once ever on a stag in an Eastern European city in his 20s. He said they all did it, even the groom. Again, didn’t surprise me at all.

It doesn’t mean that all men visit escorts, but I still think there’s a lot that do.