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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister faked going away at xmas???

226 replies

user1498460618 · 23/12/2023 19:55

So every year we go to my Sister and BIL house on xmas day lunch. There are 4 of us, 4 of them, plus our mum and dad. My Sis is a great cook and does a really good lunch with excellent matched wines etc. Her and BIL are quite well off so always cover the cost of everything.

In July they announced they were going away to France this Christmas, so I have made plans to host my parents. It's really stressful as I work in the NHS and worked right up to today and now have to do all the shopping and cooking.

I have just driven by their house and the lights were on, which I was surprised about and I worried they were getting burgled or something. I parked up and went to knock on the door. My Sis was there making prep for xmas lunch in her kitchen!! She said they decided not to go to France at the last minute as the borders looked crazy, so are staying home and just decided to have a small lunch the 4 of them as they knew I had already made alternative plans. She said she was going to call me tomorrow to tell me.

However I can see they have ordered a fair bit in from places you need to be organised to buy from - ie the local goose farmer that sells out in October. I am a bit annoyed at the great expense and work I have had to go to when they are here all along. Plus I now have to host my elderly mum and dad and driven them to and from ours which means I can't have a drink until later.

I told them they could have mum and dad now and she said she can't as they only have enough food for 4. She's a prolific cook so this is unlikely.

It looks like they planned this long ago as a way to get out of hosting. AIBU to be a bit annoyed about it?

OP posts:
AlisonDonut · 23/12/2023 19:56

No. She's probably sick of hosting. Let her get on with it.

MysweetAudrina · 23/12/2023 19:56

Yes yab extremely u.

justanotherlaura · 23/12/2023 19:56

Maybe your sister didn't want to be the gracious host this year. No one owes you a Christmas dinner, take your turn!

EmptyYoghurtPot · 23/12/2023 19:57

Perhaps she was unhappy that you always went to hers and you never offered to take a turn?

Whataretheodds · 23/12/2023 19:57

Reverse, surely

Bubbles12345678 · 23/12/2023 19:57

I think you’re cheeky - why does your sister have to host every year? She shouldn’t have lied about going to France but it’s only fair you take your turn hosting.

SomeCatFromJapan · 23/12/2023 19:57

Reverse, surely

Was about to type these exact two words.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 23/12/2023 19:57

Sounds like you’ve been taking her for granted.

Username9917 · 23/12/2023 19:57

This cannot be real, surely.

LoobyDop · 23/12/2023 19:58

This has to be a reverse. Your sister was so fed up of having to do all the hosting that she pretended to be out of the country, and then when you found out you expected her to step back in?! You cannot possibly be that much of a spoiled brat really, can you?

cheezncrackers · 23/12/2023 19:58

Just because she's 'a prolific cook', doesn't mean she wants to be stuck with hosting your family and your parents every bloody year! Take your turn and stop being such a lazy, entitled so-and-so!

ProudThrilledHappy · 23/12/2023 19:58

Do you not think it’s hard work for your sister to host everyone too? Sounds like she really wanted a break for once, sad thar she didn’t feel able to have a conversation with you all about it though, what would the reaction have been if she’d asked someone else to host for once?

Violetparis · 23/12/2023 19:58

This reply has been deleted

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Wazzzzzuuuuuuup · 23/12/2023 19:58

It's sad she didn't feel able to tell you, but she has every right to have Christmas on her own with her nuclear family. And you honestly sound like a CF telling her she can have your parents now. Sounds like it's your turn after having years of gourmet dinners laid on for you.

SoupDragon · 23/12/2023 19:58

Could you be more grabby? You've never made any contribution or effort to host?

is this a reverse? It's so horrible that I wouldn't be surprised!!

MissBuffyAnneSummers · 23/12/2023 19:58

YABU

It's your turn.

Given your reaction I'm not surprised she lied. She is probably fed up if having toast every year. You can't just fling your parents in her either.

Sirzy · 23/12/2023 19:58

She is probably sick of everyone assuming she would do it.

perhaps you need to look at the level of expectation as to why they felt the need to lie.

PuffinMcStuffin · 23/12/2023 19:59

Your sister is a genius, wish I'd thought of that!
I think it's only fair you host and foot the bill for once.

Orangello · 23/12/2023 19:59

i call reverse. Person always cooking is clearly fed up being the only one hosting and paying, and rightfully so.

mnahmnah · 23/12/2023 19:59

I would feel the same way as you, but because of the deceit. Honesty, always, as far as I’m concerned. It’s really underhand.

JewelTheft · 23/12/2023 19:59

She cooks for 10 every year, maybe she wanted a quieter year with less stress. If it's expected that she hosts every year, perhaps she just wanted to avoid any conflict or accusations of selfishness so invented a little white lie.

FizzyLaser · 23/12/2023 19:59

'I work in the nhs' fgs
we all have jobs

LinnieM · 23/12/2023 19:59

Whataretheodds · 23/12/2023 19:57

Reverse, surely

Yes I was thinking the same. Surely no one can be so tone deaf?

TheNewSchmoo · 23/12/2023 19:59

This cannot be real. How dare your Sister not want to be at your beck and call.

Have a word with yourself.

MumUndone · 23/12/2023 19:59

If this is real, I think you should read your post back OP. Particularly the following:

'I am a bit annoyed at the great expense and work I have had to go to when they are here all along. Plus I now have to host my elderly mum and dad and driven them to and from ours which means I can't have a drink until later'

You mean, you're annoyed you have to do what they do every year?