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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sister faked going away at xmas???

226 replies

user1498460618 · 23/12/2023 19:55

So every year we go to my Sister and BIL house on xmas day lunch. There are 4 of us, 4 of them, plus our mum and dad. My Sis is a great cook and does a really good lunch with excellent matched wines etc. Her and BIL are quite well off so always cover the cost of everything.

In July they announced they were going away to France this Christmas, so I have made plans to host my parents. It's really stressful as I work in the NHS and worked right up to today and now have to do all the shopping and cooking.

I have just driven by their house and the lights were on, which I was surprised about and I worried they were getting burgled or something. I parked up and went to knock on the door. My Sis was there making prep for xmas lunch in her kitchen!! She said they decided not to go to France at the last minute as the borders looked crazy, so are staying home and just decided to have a small lunch the 4 of them as they knew I had already made alternative plans. She said she was going to call me tomorrow to tell me.

However I can see they have ordered a fair bit in from places you need to be organised to buy from - ie the local goose farmer that sells out in October. I am a bit annoyed at the great expense and work I have had to go to when they are here all along. Plus I now have to host my elderly mum and dad and driven them to and from ours which means I can't have a drink until later.

I told them they could have mum and dad now and she said she can't as they only have enough food for 4. She's a prolific cook so this is unlikely.

It looks like they planned this long ago as a way to get out of hosting. AIBU to be a bit annoyed about it?

OP posts:
SpellitwithaY · 23/12/2023 20:49

So OP has been handed her arse and not coming back.....

EmmaEmerald · 23/12/2023 20:50

OP if you come back, as it's Christmas, all is forgiven

we just want to know the reality!

LisaD1 · 23/12/2023 20:53

Oh poor you having to take a turn at hosting your parents and paying for your own food. You sound ridiculously entitled. No wonder she couldn’t just tell you she fancied a quiet one in her own home this year. YABVU

Ihadenough22 · 23/12/2023 20:55

For years you have had your sil cook Christmas dinner for you, your husband and pil.
You went their empty handed and probably did not clear up or wash a dish. You might have even got leftover dinner to have the next day.
Meanwhile sil had the hassle of shopping for this, the cost of food, drinks and wine. She spent hours cooking and you arrived like the queen.

My feeling is that she had enough of been expected to do this especially as you never returned the favour or even offered to pay some of the cost. My feeling is that you drove by her house to see if she gone. You saw she was their, knocked on her door and did not like what she said to you.

To be honest I am surprised that she did not do this before now. Next year you need to ask her and her family for dinner along with your pil because after this year she won't go back to hosting you all. At least your getting an idea of all she has being doing up to now.

Crazycrazylady · 23/12/2023 20:59

Your poor sister. Imagine having to fake a holiday to get out of hosting every single year. You sound like an absolute parasite .

EmptyYoghurtPot · 23/12/2023 21:07

EmmaEmerald · 23/12/2023 20:50

OP if you come back, as it's Christmas, all is forgiven

we just want to know the reality!

OP won’t be back - this is either a reverse or a fake story and OP is sitting back with a glass of wine watching the comments!

IClaudine · 23/12/2023 21:16

Some of the comments are really lacking in Christmas spirit! 🎄

adomizo · 23/12/2023 21:24

This reply has been deleted

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StaunchMomma · 23/12/2023 21:24

The only thing your DSis has done wrong is not be upfront about not wanting to host.

Goodlard · 23/12/2023 21:25

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Agreed

underneaththeash · 23/12/2023 21:33

It's a reverse.

Isthisit22 · 23/12/2023 21:39

Thanks for the laugh! Can’t believe you took your family of 4 for a freebie at your sisters every year and are now annoyed the gravy train has stopped 😂

brainworms · 23/12/2023 21:41

LOL

sort your own Christmas out, you're overly entitled.

Marwoodsbigbreak · 23/12/2023 21:47

@user1498460618 please come back and tell us whether it’s a reverse, or you really are this selfish!!!

EmmaEmerald · 23/12/2023 22:26

@user1498460618

look, this is how much I want you to come back!

JennyForeigner · 23/12/2023 22:35

I would watch this Christmas movie.

Only if told from the sister's perspective though. And she actually gets to go to France.

Also, she is single and finds love with a hot vineyard owner.

easylikeasundaymorn · 23/12/2023 22:46

YAonlyBU if this is a reverse, as they are really fucking annoying and unnecessary.

forgotmyusername1 · 23/12/2023 22:52

We rotate Christmas Dinner between us, parents and inlaws. It is our turn every third year. Means it doesn't fall on one person every year to do everything. I feel for your sister. They just wanted a quiet Christmas and felt they couldn't be honest without getting the guilt trip.

EmmaEmerald · 23/12/2023 22:58

JennyForeigner · 23/12/2023 22:35

I would watch this Christmas movie.

Only if told from the sister's perspective though. And she actually gets to go to France.

Also, she is single and finds love with a hot vineyard owner.

😂 and the vineyard owner needs to have lied to escape family Christmas as well.

TakeMe2Insanity · 23/12/2023 22:58

AlisonDonut · 23/12/2023 19:56

No. She's probably sick of hosting. Let her get on with it.

This!

Merryoldgoat · 23/12/2023 23:01

JennyForeigner · 23/12/2023 22:35

I would watch this Christmas movie.

Only if told from the sister's perspective though. And she actually gets to go to France.

Also, she is single and finds love with a hot vineyard owner.

This could be an Adele Parks/Jane Green etc book for sure.

Merryoldgoat · 23/12/2023 23:03

@JennyForeigner @EmmaEmerald

They would need to have some mishap with a Christmas tree being pulled in the snow

She would wear a beanie hat with an oversized fur bobble and he’d be in big Caterpillar boots.

socks1107 · 23/12/2023 23:05

She's fed up of hosting and you assuming always be that way.
What if she wants a drink on Xmas day and to not drive or cook.
Just because she has more money and can cook better doesn't mean you shouldn't do your share

Summerbay23 · 23/12/2023 23:10

🤣YABU. Hope that helps but unlikely you are coming back considering it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow.

pinkstripeycat · 23/12/2023 23:17

Shopping and cooking for 6 isn’t that hard. Shop your normal food just a bit extra.

Goodness me so many people work really long hours aswell as cooking, cleaning and hosting. It’s not rocket science. You’ve tried to make it sound difficult, it’s not. Most of Mumsnet are probably doing the same and more. Be grateful you’re not working Christmas Day