Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister faked going away at xmas???

226 replies

user1498460618 · 23/12/2023 19:55

So every year we go to my Sister and BIL house on xmas day lunch. There are 4 of us, 4 of them, plus our mum and dad. My Sis is a great cook and does a really good lunch with excellent matched wines etc. Her and BIL are quite well off so always cover the cost of everything.

In July they announced they were going away to France this Christmas, so I have made plans to host my parents. It's really stressful as I work in the NHS and worked right up to today and now have to do all the shopping and cooking.

I have just driven by their house and the lights were on, which I was surprised about and I worried they were getting burgled or something. I parked up and went to knock on the door. My Sis was there making prep for xmas lunch in her kitchen!! She said they decided not to go to France at the last minute as the borders looked crazy, so are staying home and just decided to have a small lunch the 4 of them as they knew I had already made alternative plans. She said she was going to call me tomorrow to tell me.

However I can see they have ordered a fair bit in from places you need to be organised to buy from - ie the local goose farmer that sells out in October. I am a bit annoyed at the great expense and work I have had to go to when they are here all along. Plus I now have to host my elderly mum and dad and driven them to and from ours which means I can't have a drink until later.

I told them they could have mum and dad now and she said she can't as they only have enough food for 4. She's a prolific cook so this is unlikely.

It looks like they planned this long ago as a way to get out of hosting. AIBU to be a bit annoyed about it?

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 23/12/2023 19:59

All my abundant sympathy is with your sister 😃

eandz13 · 23/12/2023 20:00

This is one of those reverses that actually gets your goat for a minute

doomday · 23/12/2023 20:00

Good on her.
You should have taken turns and she wouldn't have been driven to do this.
I hate hate hate hosting but we do it every other year for in laws.

BitchImTheSecretIngredient · 23/12/2023 20:01

Hahaha have a word

YoullCatchYourDeathInTheFog · 23/12/2023 20:01

Unless you're about to drip feed that your DSis is a lady of leisure and / or has a live in cook-housekeeper and you are a single mum of 9 children then YABU. The fact that you work in the NHS does not give you a monopoly on being a bit busy, and does not automatically make you unable to cook a roast dinner for 4(?) people.

Have you ever offered to bring anything/help?

Sprite1008 · 23/12/2023 20:01

Reverse? Sounds like they would like to have a relaxed Christmas just the 4 of them without the stress of hosting. Maybe they went about it the wrong way by not being upfront but that can sometimes be difficult in families where offence might be taken. Good luck to them. Hopefully you will enjoy the day too.

Wishimaywishimight · 23/12/2023 20:01

Cop on! No doubt she is sick and tired of not only hosting every year but also paying for it all.

You're taking your (long overdue) turn. Do it with good grace and leave them to enjoy their Christmad.

MagentaRocks · 23/12/2023 20:01

If this is not a reverse then you are very unreasonable. Why should she cover the cost and have all the work while everyone else just rocks up excepting a perfect meal.

Rainallnight · 23/12/2023 20:01

I mean, if this is true, I’m surprised the sister hasn’t faked her own death at this point

Unescorted · 23/12/2023 20:01

In the circumstances it is a choice of faking going away or spitting on everyone's dinner. I think she was quite restrained in her response.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 23/12/2023 20:02

The time and expense you're whining about is presumably ok for your sister to deal with -every fucking year?
Good for her. You are a CF.

Budgiegirlbob · 23/12/2023 20:02

So every year we go to my Sister and BIL house on xmas day lunch

This is your answer, Assuming this isn’t a reverse. Which it almost certainly is

dooneyousmugelf · 23/12/2023 20:02

Fair play 😂 I like her style

AngelontopoftheTree · 23/12/2023 20:02

If this isn't a reverse I think it's about time it's your turn to host. And do you really never bring anything for dinner?
I go to my sister but always bring the ham and veg, she does turkey and spuds, my parents bring the wine. Fair's Fair after all.

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 23/12/2023 20:02

Got to be a reverse, no one could honestly trip up with dp, x2 dc for years, not contribute and thinks they're in right for sulking the one year they don't get pondered to!

Sunbird24 · 23/12/2023 20:03

Not guaranteed she lied - lots of people got screwed over at the last minute the other day by French strikes cancelling Eurostar/Eurotunnel trains. If they’d booked a gîte or something self-catering they would have likely ordered some food to take with them and could easily have done a trolley dash for the rest.

GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife · 23/12/2023 20:03

I like your sister’s style 😁.

DawnButlersGayGiraffe · 23/12/2023 20:03

High five to your sister, well played.

EmptyYoghurtPot · 23/12/2023 20:03

Also I love that you just happened to drive past her house and see that the lights are on!

Merryoldgoat · 23/12/2023 20:03

If you’re going to do a reverse at least make it less transparent

dsan · 23/12/2023 20:03

Got to be a Christmas reverse.

Whattodo112222 · 23/12/2023 20:03

Nobody can be this entitled.

IClaudine · 23/12/2023 20:04

I told them they could have mum and dad now

This can't be real, no one would be so horrible.

Dotjones · 23/12/2023 20:04

Clearly this is a joke, or a reverse or whatever.

mjf981 · 23/12/2023 20:04

I keep seeing ‘this is a reverse’ on threads. What does this mean?? So comfused…