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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sister faked going away at xmas???

226 replies

user1498460618 · 23/12/2023 19:55

So every year we go to my Sister and BIL house on xmas day lunch. There are 4 of us, 4 of them, plus our mum and dad. My Sis is a great cook and does a really good lunch with excellent matched wines etc. Her and BIL are quite well off so always cover the cost of everything.

In July they announced they were going away to France this Christmas, so I have made plans to host my parents. It's really stressful as I work in the NHS and worked right up to today and now have to do all the shopping and cooking.

I have just driven by their house and the lights were on, which I was surprised about and I worried they were getting burgled or something. I parked up and went to knock on the door. My Sis was there making prep for xmas lunch in her kitchen!! She said they decided not to go to France at the last minute as the borders looked crazy, so are staying home and just decided to have a small lunch the 4 of them as they knew I had already made alternative plans. She said she was going to call me tomorrow to tell me.

However I can see they have ordered a fair bit in from places you need to be organised to buy from - ie the local goose farmer that sells out in October. I am a bit annoyed at the great expense and work I have had to go to when they are here all along. Plus I now have to host my elderly mum and dad and driven them to and from ours which means I can't have a drink until later.

I told them they could have mum and dad now and she said she can't as they only have enough food for 4. She's a prolific cook so this is unlikely.

It looks like they planned this long ago as a way to get out of hosting. AIBU to be a bit annoyed about it?

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 23/12/2023 20:11

So every year we go to my Sister and BIL house on xmas day lunch
Good for them!
Your overreaction that they now have to host your DParents shows what an entitled mare you are.

EmmaEmerald · 23/12/2023 20:12

Would totally understand someone doing this

And, I think they'd expect to be found out, and that would underline their point in a way.

so whoever did it...I understand.

YoullCatchYourDeathInTheFog · 23/12/2023 20:12

Goodlard · 23/12/2023 20:11

You work for the NHS you say? Don't they get an immediate exception from hosting Christmas?

Yeah, it's at the bottom of a Blue Light card.

Sunbird24 · 23/12/2023 20:12

FussyPud · 23/12/2023 20:11

I wish there was a Mumsnet popcorn emoji.

That’s a point, I have a bag of Butterkist to open…

ilovesooty · 23/12/2023 20:14

Bubbles12345678 · 23/12/2023 19:57

I think you’re cheeky - why does your sister have to host every year? She shouldn’t have lied about going to France but it’s only fair you take your turn hosting.

Absolutely. She's probably sick of being imposed on year after year. You had a real cheek telling her she could now host your parents.

Jesusmaryjosephandtheweedon · 23/12/2023 20:14

Wow your sister had to say she was going away in order for you to take your parents. She's cooked for countless years bought expensive paired wines and you've never offered to contribute or host? She's well within her rights to not host anyone.

Also NHS is not an excuse as to why you're knackered. If you knew you were hosting you could have ordered your shop weeks ago and had it delivered today.

Cook for your folks and enjoy your day,next year invite your sister

vipersnest1 · 23/12/2023 20:15

I've hosted Christmas for the vast majority of the last twenty years (the last seven, all of them because my DDad died and my DM always came to mine).
DM died early this year, so this Christmas I will be alone (one DC coming on Boxing Day). It's a relief, to be honest. I've been expected to do the traditional Christmas dinner and it's been a pressure on me (alongside organising another oxygen machine for at mine, plus worrying myself sick that DM would fall down my stairs as she was very frail, but stubborn with it).
No-one should feel forced to repeat what they have done in the past. I only did it due to DM's circumstances.
I will be having a traditional style dinner, but as and when I want it - and likely in Christmas pjs, sitting on the floor at my coffee table rather than at my dining table.
You should offer to host this year, @FatCatSkinnyRat.
After all, you've had years of Christmas dinners free, with no worry about the planning or cooking.

DungareesAndTrombones · 23/12/2023 20:16

Hahahaha she's pulled an absolute blinder, kudos to her 🍻

Womencanlift · 23/12/2023 20:17

Whataretheodds · 23/12/2023 19:57

Reverse, surely

Or when the OP sees that nobody agrees with her she will pretend it’s a reverse to save face

PartingGift · 23/12/2023 20:17

If this isn't a reverse, then I think you need to have a long think about all that your sister has done for you and your family over the previous Christmases, thank her for being such a good host, and apologise for not pulling your weight with the cooking or the cost previously. She's obviously had enough and is sick of it, and I don't blame her.

Also, swallow down that "I work in the NHS so it's impossible for me to take responsibility for anything else in my own time" attitude - it's fucking annoying (I also work in the NHS). You've had since July to plan your shopping!!

If this is a reverse, then send her this thread.

Fionaville · 23/12/2023 20:18

No way this is real! Nobody is this entitled, surely.

SoupDragon · 23/12/2023 20:19

I'd like to know who has voted YANBU (it's more than one person!)

seafronty · 23/12/2023 20:19

Hahahahah. This is a good one. Well done

Magenta82 · 23/12/2023 20:22

Surely no one is this obnoxious and entitled?!

IcouldbutIdontwantto · 23/12/2023 20:23

FussyPud · 23/12/2023 20:11

I wish there was a Mumsnet popcorn emoji.

🍿

ForeverFriends32 · 23/12/2023 20:23

I'm calling reverse! And, yes, the people taking advantage of the sister's hospitality ABVU!

Abbimae · 23/12/2023 20:25

Why exactly does she have to have them?

also who has a local goose farmer. Talk about how the other half live

FairytaleOfKent · 23/12/2023 20:25

I can see why she lied to you. You're coming off as a massive CF. I bet you're really pushy in person.

Iwantamarshmallowman · 23/12/2023 20:26

This is either a reverse or you are the most entitled person in the world. Take the hint she doesn't want to cater for you any more and I'm not surprised with that attitude.

AllAroundMyCat · 23/12/2023 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 23/12/2023 20:27

You over egged it with the sending the parents over bit.

Kitkatcatflap · 23/12/2023 20:29

What a CF. I cannot believe your sense of entitlement. She hosts your family of four and your parents every year, pays for everything and you are annoyed because she wants a break. Even if you enjoy cooking and hosting (as I do) it's still a lot of work little time to enjoy and relax.

The absolute temerity of you trying to off load your parents at the last minute is shocking - only one person should be annoyed and that is your sister. She deserves a quiet, stress free Christmas and you need to ask yourself why she felt the need to fabricate a trip rather and you not taking the hint or a turn.

TR888 · 23/12/2023 20:31

"I am a bit annoyed at the great expense and work I have had to go to when they are here all along. Plus I now have to host my elderly mum and dad and driven them to and from ours which means I can't have a drink until later.

I told them they could have mum and dad now"

Wow! So you're annoyed at the expense to host your own family plus two extra people, but feel us completely alright for your sister to have a total of ten round ever year.

I love how the minute you clocked they were in, you immediately tried to offload your parents to her... rather than inviting them you yours!! Classic.

If you're offended that your sister lied, consider this - this is how annoyed and fed up she is with you.

Pootle23 · 23/12/2023 20:33

Looks like your sister was sick of hosting, but knew you would go off on her..she wasn’t wrong was she.

You’re coming across as bloody ungrateful for all the years she has done all the work. You are only hosting two extra and because you can’t drink are have a hissy fit!

AngelontopoftheTree · 23/12/2023 20:36

🍿

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