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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still feel slightly bitter about this? (Inheriting social housing)

305 replies

Buddybud · 15/12/2023 22:34

I grew up in a two bed council house with my mother (single parent) and my sister in what could now be considered a highly gentrified area within walking distance of the city centre. My mother benefited from a life time tenancy. I left at eighteen to go to university, and my mother didn’t keep a place or bed for me. If I went back during the holidays i would have to sleep on the sofa which I found quite annoying especially when so many of my friends at Uni still had rooms in their parent’s houses. Fast forward a couple of years and I graduated, moved away, met my DH and we now have our own home but have been struggling with our mortgage due to cost of living, etc. My mother on the other hand remarried and moved in with her DH whilst putting my sister on the council house tenancy so my sister now has a life time tenancy with subsidised rent in an area I could never afford. Aibu to feel like that’s abit shitty?

OP posts:
MikeRafone · 15/12/2023 22:37

You moved away, so what use would the tenancy be to you?

myphoneisbroken · 15/12/2023 22:38

I would be jealous too.

tinyme77 · 15/12/2023 22:39

If she moves out, why doesn't the property return to the council?

Eekmystro · 15/12/2023 22:40

It’s a shitty situation, but the issue is the horrific housing market/social housing shortage not the actions of your mum or sister. However not having a bed when you were home from uni was harsh!

vodkaredbullgirl · 15/12/2023 22:40

You moved out and have your own place.

Hellocatshome · 15/12/2023 22:41

I dont understand if it was the same house when you returned home in Uni holidays where had your bedroom gone?

Either way you can be jealous all you like but it doesn't change the situation you are in so don't waste your time on jealousy.

Original poster
Buddybud · 15/12/2023 22:42

@tinyme77 If she moves out the property does get returned but otherwise she has a secure tenancy for life with subsidised rent uneffected by interest, etc.

OP posts:
naughtynine · 15/12/2023 22:42

I’d think you would be odd to not be bothered however I assume you live elsewhere & you do have a house so not point in letting it eat you up.

vodkaredbullgirl · 15/12/2023 22:44

If it's a 2 bed house you were already sharing with your sister.

MyrrAgain · 15/12/2023 22:44

Your mum doesn't need it..it should go back. Why does your sister need it? She's her own person and should get assessed in her own right or do like you've done and provide for herself

Nospecialcharactersplease · 15/12/2023 22:46

I’m all for good social housing but I wouldn’t choose a lifetime tenancy over owning my own home. Count your blessings, or at least stop counting your sister’s.

XenoBitch · 15/12/2023 22:46

Your mum has done nothing wrong. You left and are living your life elsewhere with your DH and own home.

BTW, social housing is not subsidised.

VeryGoodVeryNice · 15/12/2023 22:46

What’s your sister’s situation?

I’m a single parent living in a HA house and I’d love a husband and to own my own place! The grass is not always greener. Also your mum only had one council house, why do you think you should have got it over your sister?

naughtynine · 15/12/2023 22:48

Your mum has done nothing wrong.

lol, there’s a low bar on here sometimes.

I thinks it’s awful thAt the mum didn’t even keep a bed for the OP.

Original poster
Buddybud · 15/12/2023 22:52

vodkaredbullgirl · 15/12/2023 22:44

If it's a 2 bed house you were already sharing with your sister.

No. There was a kitchen, dining room and living room downstairs. I shared with my sister when little then they converted the dining room for me. I went to uni so they reclaimed dining room.

OP posts:
Original poster
Buddybud · 15/12/2023 22:53

XenoBitch · 15/12/2023 22:46

Your mum has done nothing wrong. You left and are living your life elsewhere with your DH and own home.

BTW, social housing is not subsidised.

I left because I was forced out though.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 15/12/2023 22:54

Annoying. I don't agree with the whole way council property is administered.

gamerchick · 15/12/2023 22:54

Rule of thumb. If a thread starter throws in subsidised rent a couple of times, you know it's just a goady thread. 🙄

Original poster
Buddybud · 15/12/2023 22:55

MyrrAgain · 15/12/2023 22:44

Your mum doesn't need it..it should go back. Why does your sister need it? She's her own person and should get assessed in her own right or do like you've done and provide for herself

It’s social housing policy in that area. You are allowed to pass on the tenancy. My sister works full time and lives there with her boyfriend.

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 15/12/2023 22:56

gamerchick · 15/12/2023 22:54

Rule of thumb. If a thread starter throws in subsidised rent a couple of times, you know it's just a goady thread. 🙄

Sure does

Original poster
Buddybud · 15/12/2023 22:56

gamerchick · 15/12/2023 22:54

Rule of thumb. If a thread starter throws in subsidised rent a couple of times, you know it's just a goady thread. 🙄

Don’t social housing tenants pay a reduced rate of rent? I do apologise if I worded that incorrectly.

OP posts:
custardlover · 15/12/2023 22:57

People don't understand social housing. It's not subsidised- that is housing benefit. I think you should focus on your own life.

MistyMountainTop · 15/12/2023 22:57

Buddybud · 15/12/2023 22:34

I grew up in a two bed council house with my mother (single parent) and my sister in what could now be considered a highly gentrified area within walking distance of the city centre. My mother benefited from a life time tenancy. I left at eighteen to go to university, and my mother didn’t keep a place or bed for me. If I went back during the holidays i would have to sleep on the sofa which I found quite annoying especially when so many of my friends at Uni still had rooms in their parent’s houses. Fast forward a couple of years and I graduated, moved away, met my DH and we now have our own home but have been struggling with our mortgage due to cost of living, etc. My mother on the other hand remarried and moved in with her DH whilst putting my sister on the council house tenancy so my sister now has a life time tenancy with subsidised rent in an area I could never afford. Aibu to feel like that’s abit shitty?

Why can't you just be pleased for your sister?

custardlover · 15/12/2023 22:58

No - social housing means it is owned by eg the council or a housing association eg not-for-profit landlords. Much of Europe has social housing without the weird hang ups we have about it.

MinnieL · 15/12/2023 23:00

You had a DH and you owned your own home. What was your sister’s situation? It’s smart for your mum to add someone on to the tenancy so she clearly picked the person who needed it the most. You clearly didn’t need it the most!