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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still feel slightly bitter about this? (Inheriting social housing)

305 replies

Buddybud · 15/12/2023 22:34

I grew up in a two bed council house with my mother (single parent) and my sister in what could now be considered a highly gentrified area within walking distance of the city centre. My mother benefited from a life time tenancy. I left at eighteen to go to university, and my mother didn’t keep a place or bed for me. If I went back during the holidays i would have to sleep on the sofa which I found quite annoying especially when so many of my friends at Uni still had rooms in their parent’s houses. Fast forward a couple of years and I graduated, moved away, met my DH and we now have our own home but have been struggling with our mortgage due to cost of living, etc. My mother on the other hand remarried and moved in with her DH whilst putting my sister on the council house tenancy so my sister now has a life time tenancy with subsidised rent in an area I could never afford. Aibu to feel like that’s abit shitty?

OP posts:
Justfinking · 17/12/2023 18:25

anythinginapinch · 17/12/2023 17:39

I'd be pissed off to OP

House, an asset, is owned by a parent then the parent leaves the property equally to both children and both children get an equal "benefit".

House is social housing - an "asset" in this day and age - and the parent "bequeaths" it to only one child, then only one child gets an"benefit".

It's not an asset, the mother doesn't 'own' squat. OP why don't you quit your job and go on benefits, then you too can get a house and don't need to be so jealous. Problem solved!

BoredofBlonde · 18/12/2023 00:19

Buddybud · 17/12/2023 16:41

They wanted a dining room.

Show quote history

But why were you kicked out?

You already said you were on the sofa, they had their dining room back, so why did they kick you out from sleeping on the sofa?

Original poster
Buddybud · 18/12/2023 10:22

Justfinking · 17/12/2023 18:25

It's not an asset, the mother doesn't 'own' squat. OP why don't you quit your job and go on benefits, then you too can get a house and don't need to be so jealous. Problem solved!

Show quote history

What on earth? That really isn’t how it works. Lots of people in SH work. You don’t just get a house because you are on benefits.

OP posts:
anythinginapinch · 18/12/2023 12:58

@Justfinking what bollocks. Social housing is like gold dust - there are threads and threads about it on this very site. A life time tenancy is an asset

JenniferBooth · 18/12/2023 17:25

Buddybud · 18/12/2023 10:22

What on earth? That really isn’t how it works. Lots of people in SH work. You don’t just get a house because you are on benefits.

Show quote history

IME housing associations prefer those who dont work That way they can be home for all the endless checks and visits HAs want to do

EasternStandard · 18/12/2023 17:28

I’m surprised you can just pass it on

LBFseBrom · 18/12/2023 18:18

I believe that varies in different boroughs but I found this from a London Borough, regarding Council properties:

"Family members under 18 can succeed to a tenancy, but in these cases a trustee would need to be agreed who would hold the tenancy in trust for the child. Can more than one person succeed? Only one person can succeed to a tenancy; if there is a joint tenancy the remaining joint tenant can succeed."

I know a woman who lived with her mother in a council house in a London borough. When her mother died she was able to take over the tenancy and at that time she was newly retired.

Regarding people living in HA property often living on benefits, I have known a few who have had such tenancies and they were all gainfully employed.

Justfinking · 18/12/2023 19:06

anythinginapinch · 18/12/2023 12:58

@Justfinking what bollocks. Social housing is like gold dust - there are threads and threads about it on this very site. A life time tenancy is an asset

It's not an asset in any sense of the word, something you own that gains value, that you can sell etc

anythinginapinch · 18/12/2023 22:09

An asset is (OED) - "any item owned or possessed by an individual which has an economic, commercial or exchangeable value". I think we can surely agree that a lifetime tenancy is owned by the mother and has an economic value which the mum has passed on to one of her children.

I think it's pretty clear what I mean. The daughter will gain over her lifetime in a way the OP will not.

Delightfuldays · 20/12/2023 22:37

Of course it's an asset. The daughter has no worry with regards to housing for the rest of her life. She has a lifetime tenancy which means that unless she does something wrong they can not evict her.

LBFseBrom · 21/12/2023 17:34

Yes, a lifetime tenancy is an asset. The op's sister is fortunate to have it and I'm sure she appreciates that. I do not get why any jealousy is involved, it is so pointless especially when the op has her own home, albeit an expensive business and involves some struggle. However, the struggle will not last forever and one day she will be able to cash in on her home and her sister will not be able to do the same if she stays as a tenant - and she may buy somewhere in the future.

It strikes me they are both fortunate in different ways. The bugbear is the op feels she was unfairly treated by not being given a room in her family home after university. How long one goes on feeling resentful about something like that I do not know, it is hardly her sister's fault.

Delightfuldays · 21/12/2023 17:52

LBFseBrom · 21/12/2023 17:34

Yes, a lifetime tenancy is an asset. The op's sister is fortunate to have it and I'm sure she appreciates that. I do not get why any jealousy is involved, it is so pointless especially when the op has her own home, albeit an expensive business and involves some struggle. However, the struggle will not last forever and one day she will be able to cash in on her home and her sister will not be able to do the same if she stays as a tenant - and she may buy somewhere in the future.

It strikes me they are both fortunate in different ways. The bugbear is the op feels she was unfairly treated by not being given a room in her family home after university. How long one goes on feeling resentful about something like that I do not know, it is hardly her sister's fault.

The sister has the benefit of lower rent and will be able to save quicker for a mortgage. She will also be able to buy the property she is currently in at a lower rate.

Also she has the safety aspect of never being evicted and if she does fall on hard times she can claim HB/universal credit knowing that a social housing landlord will accept this.

The sister definitely has had an advantage.

Moreorlessmentallystable · 21/12/2023 19:08

I find it ridiculous that if your mum doesn't need the property anymore this doesn't go back to the council! It's like leaving inheritance in some way...more examples of people exploiting the system...

Hesma · 21/12/2023 19:09

No… you moved out

Delightfuldays · 21/12/2023 19:56

Hesma · 21/12/2023 19:09

No… you moved out

But not by choice.

XenoBitch · 21/12/2023 20:00

Moreorlessmentallystable · 21/12/2023 19:08

I find it ridiculous that if your mum doesn't need the property anymore this doesn't go back to the council! It's like leaving inheritance in some way...more examples of people exploiting the system...

But the sister is named on the tenancy and is still living there. So the property is still needed... by the sister.

WillowTit · 21/12/2023 20:13

SH likes key workers, they were pleased i had a job in a school

Bobwibble · 21/12/2023 20:22

If your sister lives in the house with her boyfriend, where does your mum sleep?

Look at it this way: you have freedom. You do not have to keep living a) with your mum or b) in the same house forever more. She does (if she wants to keep the reduced rate).

It does suck, but there wasn’t really a good way to sort it was there? The tenancy can’t be given to both of you. It could be given to neither, which would be fair, but also shit for your sister to not have something nice just because you can’t have it too.

It’s life, nobody ever promised it would be fair.

BoredofBlonde · 21/12/2023 23:24

Bobwibble · 21/12/2023 20:22

If your sister lives in the house with her boyfriend, where does your mum sleep?

Look at it this way: you have freedom. You do not have to keep living a) with your mum or b) in the same house forever more. She does (if she wants to keep the reduced rate).

It does suck, but there wasn’t really a good way to sort it was there? The tenancy can’t be given to both of you. It could be given to neither, which would be fair, but also shit for your sister to not have something nice just because you can’t have it too.

It’s life, nobody ever promised it would be fair.

The answer is literally in the first post by the OP - the Mum lives with her new husband in his house

Delightfuldays · 22/12/2023 00:17

@xenobitch the sister isn't 'in need' of the property. If she approached the council she would not be viewed as a priority need.
She has been very lucky to get this property.

jhy · 22/12/2023 00:24

How long ago since you moved out?
It's really odd you have such strong feelings over this!
You moved out, met your DH... life moves on. What does being bitter about these things solve?

XenoBitch · 22/12/2023 01:49

Delightfuldays · 22/12/2023 00:17

@xenobitch the sister isn't 'in need' of the property. If she approached the council she would not be viewed as a priority need.
She has been very lucky to get this property.

The sister was already in the property and had a tenancy.

If the wife of a married couple died, would you say it was appropriate for the husband to be kicked out and made homeless?

Spidey66 · 22/12/2023 02:11

Both of you can't inherit the tenancy so it makes sense it goes to who is living there ie your sister.

Unless you want to inherit the tenancy and boot your sister out despite the fact you are now a home owner.

And BTW its the tenancy that's inherited, not the property. So if your sister is still there when your mum dies, doesn't mean she can stay. They could move her somewhere smaller.

While I'm 100'% behind more council tenancies, as a home owner you have more options than a council tenant eg ability to upsize, downsize or move to a different part of the country. A shortage means while in theory these can happen, in practice they rarely do. I'm ab ex council tenant and have never regretted buying on the open market.

Spidey66 · 22/12/2023 02:16

Ps I'm certain a tenancy can only get inherited after death. Your sister may have left long time before this happens.

Delightfuldays · 22/12/2023 17:29

@XenoBitch no if they were married and were both on the tenancy then fair enough. They are equals. But to pass on the tenancy to your daughter who has no priority need does not feel right even if the council does agree to it.