Page 14 | To be profoundly saddened by this story

Changeditforyou · 2023-09-27T12:28:15+00:00

[[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12565699/Police-rush-scene-incident-outside-busy-Croydon-shopping-centre.html https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12565699/Police-rush-scene-incident-outside-busy-Croydon-shopping-centre.html]] They tell us to help our daughters to protect themselves from male violence by thinking about what they wear, how much they drink, how late to stay out, where they go… Are we supposed to add to the list ‘not rejecting a bunch of flowers in case you get stabbed to death’. This is horrifying. I’m so so sick of male violence. It feels everywhere and inescapable. More luck than anything that your daughter isn’t the one. This poor girl and her family.

AlfredaTheGrape · 27/09/2023 19:58

Start with recognising your privilege and stand up against every little shred of misogyny you see - you'll be very tired after the first 24 hours but it'll be worth it

I have been encouraging the (decent) men in my inner circle for some time to understand that this is what is necessary in whatever ways they can as to the situation and their abilities. Every day. They are responding. @jm9138 you and your sons can, and should, do this rather than you posting whataboutery inappropriately on the wrong thread, and encouraging your sons to be passively part of the problem instead of actively part of the solution.

VeronicaSawyer89 · 27/09/2023 19:58

Christmas202 · 27/09/2023 18:40

Last week i was upstairs putting clothes away when an almighty hula baloo started outside my house. I watched the whole thing unfold. 2 boys we’re having a slanging match with this girl. One of the boys just drops his gym back and pulls out a hammer. They proceeded to chase each other up and down the street. The girl yielding a very large knife gets a bottle smashed over her head. This world is terrifying.

Quoted the wrong person!

Princessbananahamock · 27/09/2023 19:59

abhorrent disgusting, if I can’t have you no one will . He should never be able to walk the streets again. Send a message violence in this way will never and should never be tolerated, regardless of age. The person went armed where the fuck did they get that machete or long knife from. They will be out in 8 yrs. free to live their life.
Im angry v angry that this person took a life an innocent life. Just because she didn’t want to be in a relationship with “it” that is what they are “it “

VeronicaSawyer89 · 27/09/2023 20:00

@Christmas202 Sorry I quoted the wrong person!

VeronicaSawyer89 · 27/09/2023 20:01

jm9138 · 27/09/2023 18:38

Eye opening that people are so willing to take away my and my three son’s liberty, label us as a ‘them’ or even ‘vaporise’ the four of us because we were all born with a penis and some other people with penises do some awful things.

So start on your thread instead of crying about your own lack of freedom on a thread about a girl being murdered by a boy! Talk about disrespectful!

Quirkyme · 27/09/2023 20:01

@MadamWhiteleigh

She wasn't white. She's black.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 27/09/2023 20:02

Itsgettingweirdnow · 27/09/2023 19:10

This thread has become… strange. But that is MN, I guess. No, men do not need to be locked up or put on curfew. And no, we cannot protect our girls. But we can, all individually stop putting up with the BS “some” men give us. For a start. The issues are becoming deeply entrenched. It is scary but perhaps we can help make a change for out future girls. We cannot rely on men to make a change. The majority, simply, do not give a FUCK.

With respect some of the shit I've had from men over the years would be very difficult to "not put up with " (also quite victim blaming ".

LastHives · 27/09/2023 20:03

I don't understand why people are saying "where did he get a machete from"? We all know that there are many youngsters and adults who have access to this kind of weapon and others and see it as a show of strength or something that they carry to show what a big man he is.

Quirkyme · 27/09/2023 20:05

@PinkMoscatoLover

Right? @MadamWhiteleigh 's comment was disgusting tbh.

Coffeelotsofcoffee · 27/09/2023 20:07

Reminds me of the murder of Sally Anne bowman in 2005 in that very same town. Not somewhere I'd ever want to go if I'm honest. It clearly has a serious problem with violence and knife crime .

I get what your saying but let's not vilify men.
We've just recently had a women who has been given a whole life tarrif for the most horrific crimes.
Unfortunately both genders are capable of evil , violence , and commiting the most heinous crimes

May the young girl rest in peace.

oakleaffy · 27/09/2023 20:09

Absolutely unthinkable.

What monster would do this at such a young age- I hope he sees many years in jail- he will never be safe around women.

There will be excuses made, no doubt, by his legal defence team.

But acts like this are inexcusable.

jm9138 · 27/09/2023 20:14

I think my posting that I think it is wrong for people to post threats towards my male children tells you all you need to know about me. Maybe the posts saying ‘I wish all men could be vaporised’ and similar have been deleted. Even if those threats are really very silly I think I am allowed to respond to people who think ill of three of my children because of their chromosomes.

As for the curfew argument. Let’s follow it through (as completely silly as the suggestion is).

Who would enforce it? Are you going to arm women so they can shoot men they see on the street when they should be inside?

The people who would most happily comply would be very placid men except if you could genuinely lock them in. So now you are going to leave some violent men locked in with who? Their partners? Their children? Or are you going to lock them up with the non-violent men and see what happens.

I agree this is all off topic of the original post and I will happily take my leave from this thread and probably mumsnet. I only joined a few days ago because I liked reading the ‘am I being unreasonable’ threads.

The poster asks ‘is she being unreasonable to be profoundly sad’ about the story. No. Is it unreasonable for the answer to this to be suggest imposing punishment on every male because of this story (as has been suggested)? Yes. Because it is unjust, unethical, and would likely cause more violence not less.

Answers to reducing the numbers of violent men? I don’t know. I am not violent myself and I raise my children (including my daughter) not to be. What can I do if others do not do the same?

Tiredalwaystired · 27/09/2023 20:14

StopStartStop · 27/09/2023 15:00

It seems so. I'm now convinced we need to take action.

Show quote history

The best action we can take is raising our sons to be better people.

MCOut · 27/09/2023 20:14

Quirkyme · 27/09/2023 20:01

@MadamWhiteleigh

She wasn't white. She's black.

Has this been confirmed?

Quirkyme · 27/09/2023 20:15

@MCOut

Yes.

It's interesting that you didn't ask whether it was confirmed that she was white. Hm.

Zanatdy · 27/09/2023 20:15

race / name hasn’t been released by my DD said she had seen a photo on social media (live nearby, mutual friends) and yes she is black

Quirkyme · 27/09/2023 20:15

jm9138 · 27/09/2023 20:14

I think my posting that I think it is wrong for people to post threats towards my male children tells you all you need to know about me. Maybe the posts saying ‘I wish all men could be vaporised’ and similar have been deleted. Even if those threats are really very silly I think I am allowed to respond to people who think ill of three of my children because of their chromosomes.

As for the curfew argument. Let’s follow it through (as completely silly as the suggestion is).

Who would enforce it? Are you going to arm women so they can shoot men they see on the street when they should be inside?

The people who would most happily comply would be very placid men except if you could genuinely lock them in. So now you are going to leave some violent men locked in with who? Their partners? Their children? Or are you going to lock them up with the non-violent men and see what happens.

I agree this is all off topic of the original post and I will happily take my leave from this thread and probably mumsnet. I only joined a few days ago because I liked reading the ‘am I being unreasonable’ threads.

The poster asks ‘is she being unreasonable to be profoundly sad’ about the story. No. Is it unreasonable for the answer to this to be suggest imposing punishment on every male because of this story (as has been suggested)? Yes. Because it is unjust, unethical, and would likely cause more violence not less.

Answers to reducing the numbers of violent men? I don’t know. I am not violent myself and I raise my children (including my daughter) not to be. What can I do if others do not do the same?

Give it a bloody rest.

PickledFox · 27/09/2023 20:17

He went with flowers AND a machete 😢

zhizshan · 27/09/2023 20:17

I've just read that it was the friend of the girl with the x boyfriend who has been murdered. She tried to intervene to protect her friend.

ghostyslovesheets · 27/09/2023 20:20

Answers to reducing the numbers of violent men? I don’t know. I am not violent myself and I raise my children (including my daughter) not to be. What can I do if others do not do the same

For crying out loud! Okay start by getting off a thread where women are talking about their anger about male violence - instead of trying to make it all about you?

Then start standing up against every little bit of shit about us you see, read or hear - it's not banter, it's not just between your mates - if you have ever made a woman feel small, scared, insecure, uncomfortable (and you will have) - start there

Begsthequestion · 27/09/2023 20:20

jm9138 · 27/09/2023 20:14

I think my posting that I think it is wrong for people to post threats towards my male children tells you all you need to know about me. Maybe the posts saying ‘I wish all men could be vaporised’ and similar have been deleted. Even if those threats are really very silly I think I am allowed to respond to people who think ill of three of my children because of their chromosomes.

As for the curfew argument. Let’s follow it through (as completely silly as the suggestion is).

Who would enforce it? Are you going to arm women so they can shoot men they see on the street when they should be inside?

The people who would most happily comply would be very placid men except if you could genuinely lock them in. So now you are going to leave some violent men locked in with who? Their partners? Their children? Or are you going to lock them up with the non-violent men and see what happens.

I agree this is all off topic of the original post and I will happily take my leave from this thread and probably mumsnet. I only joined a few days ago because I liked reading the ‘am I being unreasonable’ threads.

The poster asks ‘is she being unreasonable to be profoundly sad’ about the story. No. Is it unreasonable for the answer to this to be suggest imposing punishment on every male because of this story (as has been suggested)? Yes. Because it is unjust, unethical, and would likely cause more violence not less.

Answers to reducing the numbers of violent men? I don’t know. I am not violent myself and I raise my children (including my daughter) not to be. What can I do if others do not do the same?

Are you going to arm women

Hmmm now there's an idea. Would even out the threat of male violence that every single female person faces when she leaves the house/school/pub/etc.

Yeah let's do it. Because men sure af haven't tried very hard to reduce the violence so far have they? And they've had long enough.

ScroogeMcDuckling · 27/09/2023 20:22

Wasnt there something put through parliament a few years ago about get caught carrying a knife, you get five years - It’s time the police and courts used it.

MCOut · 27/09/2023 20:24

Quirkyme · 27/09/2023 20:15

@MCOut

Yes.

It's interesting that you didn't ask whether it was confirmed that she was white. Hm.

I am black and was watching earlier as my entire community was being vilified again on social media. It was curious because there had been no mention of race at that point and to me this is very blatantly misogyny.

Fuckthatguy · 27/09/2023 20:24

@jm9138 that you’re detailing this thread, is again very telling.

Fuckthatguy · 27/09/2023 20:24

Derailing rather