Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

[Dadfromthesea]

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

This thread is amazing

Could they be under the impression that the wire fence visible in your pics is your boundary line and they've put their stupid tarp on their side? I mean that still wouldn't excuse them tying it to your trees!

They are so weird, why would they just keep replacing it if they think they are in the right?

Tutorial game, hmm? Must pass that suggestion on to a person I know.

I realise the Op has a life and things to do but it would very absolutely hilarious to take it down, turn it into bunting and then string it back up.

Yeah, they defo think that wire fence is your boundary, you need to nip this in the bud before they start trying to make a land grab on the stream your trees, and up to the wire fence.

Just to be clear - the new plastic mega-sheet is tied to my trees.

MMMMYYYYYYY TREEEEEEEEEEEES!

Behind the flimsy wire fence (and their New Improved Shroud) is a wooden fence, and a stream. Then their garden begins. Or at least that’s what I thought until the other day. Now God knows where their garden begins. Somewhere in my kitchen, perhaps?

Their patio thing isn’t far away but perhaps looks closer in the photos than it is in real life. I was using my phone whilst at a precarious angle, neck deep in foliage and conscious that I was probably quite close to diagnosably insane neighbours wondering why their sheets keep vanishing. So it’s not David Bailey.

I’m still staggered by the poles. I can’t say for sure because I wanted to get back to the safety of my (their?) house sharpish, but I think they might have needed to be hammered in.

So it goes garden, trees, Tarp of Doom, chainlink fence, wooden fence, stream THEN their garden? Is there a steep slope down to the river?

Do they have their own fence between their garden and the stream?

Naval flags are used to communicate visually between ships. Could you get some that spell 'fuck off' and hang them up. So pretty.

I think we're going to need an updated diagram ...

I suspect PP are right and it's some sort of misunderstanding on property boundaries - may be worth checking your own deeds.

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1452761147/private-property-signs-multipack-of-5-a4?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=boundaries+sign&ref=sc_gallery-1-3&plkey=5e1d9d3b0c491d1a77eb830cbf001b7e525784cd%3A1452761147

Or Keep Out Zombie Zone

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Honey-Dew-Gifts-Aluminum-Novelty/dp/B07THZ25DC

Or maybe this site could give you some ideas:

https://letgrow.org/funny-signs/

Is the wire fence your side of the stream
or theirs? I’d be taking this one down and hanging out down the garden (clearly they are watching!) and asking them what they are doing?!

This is how World Wars begin.

We shall fight in gardens, and on the river and streams; we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air. We shall defend our patio whatever the cost may be; we shall fight on beaches, landing grounds, in fields, in streets and on the hills. We shall never surrender and even if, which I do not for the moment believe, this garden or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our empire beyond the stream, armed and guarded by the Joneses Fleet, will carry on the struggle until in God's good time the New World with all its power and might, sets forth to the liberation and rescue of the Old.

I don't agree. To start a world war you need strategic placement of windchimes.

You need some sort of sign. I think they are watching you, so waiting for the sheet to be taken down and then they strike with the next upgraded version.

You know this is all starting to remind me of the Douglas Adams scene with the chocolate digestives. Anyone know the one I mean?

Behind the flimsy wire fence (and their New Improved Shroud) is a wooden fence, and a stream. Then their garden begins

I have no idea what they are thinking then - are you sure it's them and not some other mad bugger in the neighbourhood.

If you eventually try and have a word and it turns out it's not them -you'd look the mad one - you probably need a wildlife camera to be sure.

I did think that.

https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/l4k9he/douglas_adams_train_station_biscuits_story_or/

This one. Might be worth checking under the newspaper your deeds, OP? 😁

OP - this is one of the most entertaining things I've seen all week, annoyance and sheer audacity of these neighbours aside. Your sense of humour about it is cracking and I think based on that alone I would love if you were a neighbour of mine!

Anyway I have to say this whole thread is a hilarious, heartwarming story of how characteristically British conflict-aversion sends everyone completely batshit. In a good way, I hasten to add, I'm not insulting anyone. 😂

Blimey. They’ve got some massive balls.
Chop it down. Today. In broad daylight. Blast some offensive music down the garden as you slash the string. Imagine bankrupting yourself over fucking tarps. 😂

Priceless! 😂

Give them time.

I think at this stage I’d just go round and talk to them, as entertaining as future escalation might be to those of us reading.