Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

[Dadfromthesea]

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

Is the stream actually part of their garden, or do they think it is? Doesn’t look like they have a fence but can’t really see a lot from the photo, just that the seating area doesn’t seem to be behind a fence. It still wouldn’t justify leaning over your fence to tie something to your trees. You have no option but to talk to them if they are this determined.

So the wire fence, the shroud and the wooden fence we can see are all inside your boundary?
The the stream cuts between then they have another fence we can't see which is the start of their garden? I am agog

They’ve upgraded now. Previously it was just a glorified bed sheet, but this bad boy has got substance.
It looks like my boat tarpaulin. It's not mine, honestly.

Could they possibly think it’s just the weather knocking it down and so keep trying something stronger each time? Like a previous poster said, it might be time to make a show in broad daylight of you gleefully removing it

Is the chain link fence your boundary?

There's only one thing for it OP

24 hour watch. In full camouflage hidden in the foliage. When they appear... pounce!!

This is the third one they’ve put up in as many days? Surely they can’t keep putting up a new one every day; they can’t have an inexhaustible supply?!

I’m really keen to find out how many times they will keep replacing the shroud before either giving up or coming round to ask why you keep removing them.

OP I am very enjoying your style of writing and humour, please could we have a daily blog from you. I’m sure you could make the most boring day sound entertaining

So in photo No. 2 there is a low wooden fence barely visible past the plastic shroud.

Whose is that? What would the shroud accomplish that the wood fence does not, in terms of privacy?

If the wood fence is OP's, how could there be confusion about OP's property boundaries?

Is that lattice thing and white seating the neighbour area in question? I envisioned a woodsier setting.

We need an updated diagram and / or photos of stream area, please!

Also, love a pp's suggestion of bird seed.

This sounds insane. Presumably a large part of the tarp covers the outside of your wooden fence? If they didn't want to see your fence could they not just ... put up their own 6 ft fence on their side of the stream? Or is their issue they can't bear to have any kind of fence sullying their lovely (ish) view? Honestly they sound nuts.

Loving the batshit neighbours - just posting to say I'm enjoying the Carry On Treeing routine, looking forward to the updates.

If you have a security camera I’m sure there would be plenty of volunteers on here to do a shift on watch OP!

Unless you check the deeds it's hard to know.

For example who owns the stream, or is that dead ground. Does their fence really mark the end of their garden or is the boundary where your fence is and they actually own the stream.

I think they are batshit, surely the best option for them would be either a) put a more substantial fence in to replace their own (they probably don't want that because it will spoil the view of the stream) or b) if the border is at your fence then build another fence there.

Hanging tarps up it is just going to look like an eyesore, no matter whose land it is on.

The hanging tarp is also a bit crap in your photos because it looks like anyone could see over it and see them anyway.

I am sure there are lots of suggestions but if they think you are watching them maybe best to annoy them properly by putting up a big fake camera on a pole.

Okay, so originally I thought both neighbours had a wooden fence, and that the trees were further back from it. But now I think that CF neighbours have a small wooden fence, then there's the stream, then OP's fence is the wire one, with his trees right next to it. CF neighbours are being exaggeratedly considerate, and are worried that OP might feel overlooked by their new seating area, so they've put up a handy screen for him.

My DGP house had a stream at bottom of the garden that served as the boundary - they didn't have fences up most of the gardens did not - the other side was council playing fields with trees on their bank.

I think they were riparian owners - so had ownership to mid stream https://www.surreycc.gov.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0018/104175/Riparian-Owners-FAQs-v2.pdf.

Might be worth checking deeds to see if there is anything about the stream on them.

Agree with pp op, i’d be out in broad daylight digging the poles out, cutting tarp down and throwing them all back onto the other side. Cheeky buggers. They are clearly watching you to have replaced so quickly so give them something to watch.

But now I think that CF neighbours have a small wooden fence, then there's the stream, then OP's fence is the wire one, with his trees right next to it.

I thought that there was no fence between the CFs seating area and the stream and that maybe they didn't like the look of the OP's fence but I would have thought that the tarp would make the view pretty shit! I've given up trying to work out the thought processes of most people tbh.

Love this. We have a stream in our garden too. Maybe we should get one of these.

Bit of housekeeping here: Am I the only one using the Thanks button as an indication of laughter?

Hilarious! The joneses are bonkers. YANBU

@AliceOlive I’ve been steadfastly ignoring it as I’m not sure of the etiquette! But that sounds a good idea.

More seriously for a moment, it is definitely time to check your deeds so that you know for certain exactly where your boundary is, OP.

I wonder what their deeds say or what they were led to believe by the previous owners or agents. Do they genuinely believe they own the stream, or they own it equally with you, or own their half of it, or even that they own further up to or beyond the wire fence? Or are they just CFs trying to land grab? Perhaps they think 'nobody' owns it and that they are doing no harm.

If the trees are clearly on your land then they should not be attaching anything to them. Some people do - wrongly - believe that they can attach things to their side of a fence owned and erected by their neighbour, so perhaps this is a similar thought process.

Who owns the wire fence, as far as you know?

They really are determined aren't they! Did you manage to cut this one down too? The bits that are attached to your trees?

@HotApplePiePunch
At the risk of an enormous derail...

Biscuit story reminded me of a tale from my past. Many moons ago.

Small child goes shopping and finds a pair of red wellies in a shop, that become her heart's desire. Her DM buys her the wellies. Child wears wellies with pride, despite inappropriate weather. Later that day, child, her DM and various sundry random people are in a lift. In That London for context. Suddenly, a random woman shouts "You beast!" and slaps a random man, also a lift occupant, in the face. Random man looks a bit nonplussed. Lift journey carries on as normal and people go about their day.

Later that night, small child says to her DM, "I didn't like that lady in the lift", DM is a bit confused, but maybe the altercation with Random Man had alarmed, her, so... why not darling, she asked?

"She stood on my wellies, so I bit her on the bum".

Ok, as you were.

I think it's being used for anything postive like Laughter or agreement. I think it might even get used to indicate thanks sometimes