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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about DD's gym knicker "shorts"?

379 replies

RiderGirl · 16/08/2023 10:44

DD is just turned 13 and has taken to wearing "shorts" that I can only describe as looking like 1980's gym knickers in length, the literally sit in the crease of her buttocks. AIBU in saying that she isn't allowed to step outside the house wearing them? We keep falling out about it but I think they're wildly inappropriate!! To make it worse she wears them with a large t shirt and it just looks like she's in a t shirt and pants 🙈

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 16/08/2023 11:40

Next time they get put in the wash “lose” them. Oh dear. They’ve disappeared. Never mind.
Don’t provide her with money to buy more.

applesandmares · 16/08/2023 11:41

Going against the grain a bit here but she's 13, far from an adult, and if you think what she's wearing is inappropriate then take them off her/tell her she can't wear them out etc

anotheranotheranotheranother · 16/08/2023 11:42

Where did she get them?

Mrsjayy · 16/08/2023 11:42

MattRifesFutureWife · 16/08/2023 11:31

Teens have not worn the equivalent of pants outdoors forever. I was an eighties/ nineties kid and we wore combats and baggy jeans

Cargo trousers are quite in now, I dare say they’ll wear them when it’s colder. For now it’s summer, lots of girls wear shorts and these shorts are in fashion. I was a teen in the 90s, I definitely wore my fair share of clothes that showed my body. 😮

Yes apparently the 90s are vintage now

XelaM · 16/08/2023 11:43

My 13-year-old wears Nike pros and they're just as short. It's fashion at the moment. She wore them to the gym yesterday

BarbaraofSeville · 16/08/2023 11:43

Exactly @Middlelanehogger.

No-one would dress like that if it wasn't fashionable and anyone who did would get destroyed by their peers.

It all feels a bit like a big joke to see how far people will go in the name of fashion. The Emporer's new clothes is coming true, almost literally.

ManateeFair · 16/08/2023 11:44

Who is happy for a teenager to walk about with their bodies so clearly on show?

That's pretty much what people said when skirts were raised above the ankles in the 1920s, though. Social norms shift along with fashions.

Personally, I think those shorts are terrible and whenever I see people wearing them I think 'Bloody hell, you look like you've gone out in your knickers'. But so what? Times change, fashions change. I'm 47 and I'm sure my mum was equally horrified in the 1990s when the go-to 'going out' style for girls was a see-through lace or chiffon top worn over a black Wonderbra. And then there was the 00s when it was all tiny 'baby-tees' and crop tops with jeans so low-rise that the waistband was barely above your pubes and there was an expanse of bare midriff and belly button on show.

So I think you just have to suck it up and admire their confidence, frankly. Even though their bums are hanging out.

Presumably your teenager wears swimwear at the beach, and would wear a leotard if they did gymnastics or whatever. There's no more 'on show' with booty shorts than there is with a swimsuit. Why is it harmful for a man to see her bum on the high street but not on the beach?

blobby10 · 16/08/2023 11:46

I too feel very old and fuddy duddy but I hate this type of fashion and hate seeing the young girls around here wearing it. But then I remember when leggings/cycling shorts became a fashion item i the early 80s (rather than just gym wear) and it was never acceptable to wear anything other than a long line t shirt covering your bum and crotch area.

Hadjab · 16/08/2023 11:46

Our family mantra is if you have to keep pulling it down and/or pulling it out, then its too tight/too short

Ohyousillydivvy · 16/08/2023 11:47

Give her a pack of moist toilet paper and advise her to clean herself properly before wearing those shorts. That should do the trick, it'll make her paranoid about being clean and stain free after doing a poo. Why would you want to expose yourself in that way, it's not a flattering look on anyone.

MattRifesFutureWife · 16/08/2023 11:48

The fact is that pervy men sexualise teen girls no matter what they’re wearing. My 14 year old daughter was dressed in jeans, top and open shirt the other day with her dad and brother and men were still looking at her. What is she meant to do? She looks her age. Men are the issue so my attitude is that girls should wear whatever they want. Parents should bring their sons up to act appropriately.

Hankunamatata · 16/08/2023 11:49

All girls are wearing them. Buy her a bigger size if they are so tight

applesandmares · 16/08/2023 11:49

Presumably your teenager wears swimwear at the beach, and would wear a leotard if they did gymnastics or whatever. There's no more 'on show' with booty shorts than there is with a swimsuit. Why is it harmful for a man to see her bum on the high street but not on the beach?

@ManateeFair right but it's appropriate to wear those things in those situations as they are functional. If you saw a man wandering round a shopping center in budgie smugglers would you think 'oh well he wears them to the beach so it's alright for him to wear them here'?!

BoogLoaf · 16/08/2023 11:49

I agree it's a horrible fashion.

I cringe when you see women and children wearing them and men leering.

I just don't understand why you would choose to wear something that shows everyone the shape of your genitals??

And I know, men shouldn't look blah blah, but in the real world they do, that will never change.

FannyFifer · 16/08/2023 11:50

My 13 year old wears the Nike pros as well. You can see her arse cheeks.
Her school uniform is prob even skimpier though.
I've stopped commenting tbh, we all did similar as teens.

KirstenBlest · 16/08/2023 11:50

OnlyYellowRoses · 16/08/2023 10:47

Meh, it's fashion at the moment. My 14 year old wears similar around the house. I just usually comment to her that 'bottom clothes need to be always longer than your vagina' when we're out in public and she'll laugh and put a pair of jeans on if we're going out somewhere.

They need to be lower than the vulva.

MattRifesFutureWife · 16/08/2023 11:50

Yes apparently the 90s are vintage now

Vintage. 😭

HeritageBlooms · 16/08/2023 11:52

OP said “AIBU in saying that she isn't allowed to step outside the house wearing them? We keep falling out about it but I think they're wildly inappropriate!!”

rookie error! The rule is to always say ‘you look nice dear’ no matter what ghastly’fashion look’ they’ve taken to wearing. The fact that you said something other than this and turned it into a falling out is giving her power.

MattRifesFutureWife · 16/08/2023 11:52

And I know, men shouldn't look blah blah, but in the real world they do, that will never change.

The men who look at teen girls do so regardless of what they’re wearing, because they’re sick fuckers.

Iwasafool · 16/08/2023 11:53

RiderGirl · 16/08/2023 10:56

I suppose you could describe them as hotpant length, of the very very shortest variety. They're pulled up so tight at the front that nothing is left to the imagination (think camel toe). Maybe I'm out of touch but I think they're horrendous and leave nothing to the imagination, she's 13!!

I've seen a few teenage girls in these sort of shorts lately. I live in a seaside town so pretty used to lots of flesh on show, women in skimpy bikinis walking along the prom, men topless showing off their sunburn (does make me wince sometimes as the burns look so bad.) Some how these shorts seem a bit more... something, not sure how to explain it but I was walking with teenage GS one day and realised that the girls in front of us looked like they were wearing a top/jacket with nothing on their lower half, you could see the lower part of their buttocks below their jackets which just looked so wrong.

Having said that I'm not really into banning teenage fads, I was the age for hot pants when they first came out and I have to confess to teenage madness at time but I grew out of it, my kids grew out of their fashion horrors as well. I'm sure your daughter will as well and you can have a laugh about when she went out looking like she'd forgotten to put her shorts/trousers on.

lovewoola · 16/08/2023 11:53

I am obviously older school year than you but they were required for PE when I was at school.

I wore leotard for PE, I didn't pop to the shops in one.

BoogLoaf · 16/08/2023 11:54

MattRifesFutureWife · 16/08/2023 11:52

And I know, men shouldn't look blah blah, but in the real world they do, that will never change.

The men who look at teen girls do so regardless of what they’re wearing, because they’re sick fuckers.

Totally agree

Iwasafool · 16/08/2023 11:54

MattRifesFutureWife · 16/08/2023 11:52

And I know, men shouldn't look blah blah, but in the real world they do, that will never change.

The men who look at teen girls do so regardless of what they’re wearing, because they’re sick fuckers.

To be fair if you are walking along a few feet behind somehow who has their backside on display it does tend to be eyecatching. I'm a 70 year old woman and I'm not a sick fucker for noticing.

cocksstrideintheevening · 16/08/2023 11:55

Nike pros? They've been around for ages. I'm on holiday at the moment, you'd wince at the bikinis. Bum floss.

Iwasafool · 16/08/2023 11:55

HeritageBlooms · 16/08/2023 11:52

OP said “AIBU in saying that she isn't allowed to step outside the house wearing them? We keep falling out about it but I think they're wildly inappropriate!!”

rookie error! The rule is to always say ‘you look nice dear’ no matter what ghastly’fashion look’ they’ve taken to wearing. The fact that you said something other than this and turned it into a falling out is giving her power.

That is so true.