AIBU about DD's gym knicker "shorts"?

[RiderGirl]

DD is just turned 13 and has taken to wearing "shorts" that I can only describe as looking like 1980's gym knickers in length, the literally sit in the crease of her buttocks. AIBU in saying that she isn't allowed to step outside the house wearing them? We keep falling out about it but I think they're wildly inappropriate!! To make it worse she wears them with a large t shirt and it just looks like she's in a t shirt and pants 🙈

I think if you fight it you’ll make the matter worse! Maybe point out you can see a spot on her bum or something if it troubles you that much 😂

Better get onto the fashion industry then 'cos they're churning out a hella lot of togs that don't conform. Consumer demand - whether driven by celebrity culture, media content, changing tastes, relaxing permissibility, sexual and identity politics or anything else - also needs the email, too.

I also think it's interesting that, at the same time as women and girls are choosing arse-baring, vulva-showcasing shorts, they're also reaching for the oversized baggy pants and jeans of the 1990s as well. My goddaughter and her friends will wear tiny shorts one day then TLC-style baggy cargo pants or roomy Evisu-style jeans with a little crop top or bralette under an oversized zip-up hoodie that must ALWAYS be worn off the shoulders as though it's about to slip off altogether.

I think young women are enjoying being able to choose whether to cover up or show some flesh in a way that wasn't necessarily 'in style' when I was in my teens - the late 80s were when Lycra was having its heyday and everything had to be close-fitting, although we did catch a break when Bros came on the scene and we all went crackers for baggy jeans, oversized white t-shirts and bomber jackets.

I think, to a certain extent, mainstream fashion is a bit less slavish to trends these days - in as much as I don't see one overriding, defining 'look' among young women now.... and maybe it's a bit 'blander', perhaps than I was enjoying in my teens but many of the young people I know don't go out to clubs and, if they do, the dress code is way more relaxed now. I guess the irony is that although 'fast fashion' exists, it's TOO fast to enable the evolvement of trends and styles that stick around for any length of time.

It IS to do with the amount of flesh that we expose.

If a woman shows her vulva and bottom , a man will get sexually aroused. That is biology.

I think as women, we have been brainwashed and conditioned to think that we have to dress sexily to be female.

I'm late thirties. I never wear those hotpant shorts, but I always wear skintight leggings.

I thought about why. I was thinking today about maybe buying a hoodie and tracksuit bottoms, and I instantly felt less female and somehow wrong at the thought of wearing them.

I've been so conditioned to wear skintight clothes to be seen as female .

I bet all the women on this thread wear skintight leggings, as we have been told it's fashionm but they are pretty revealing alsl. You can see ass crack in a lot of them

I do think not exposing the shape of your genitals, even as an adult, is a bit of a decency line-in-the-sand thing, it's not fair to inflict that on other people.

To let children too young to know better do it is letting them down. I know people upthread mentioned bolidy autonomy but what else are you going to let them do at thirteen in the name of automony?

If you don't have a glaringly obvious camel toe lovingly outlined in too-tight lycra then I'm sure you're fine.

But isn't it based on your vagina shape?

I'd imagine it's easy enough to wear clothes so that other people don't find out exactly what that is.

Can you see a vacuum sealed impression of your vulva? Because down my gym there are several regulars who wear incredibly tight 'skins' leggings which while technically is not literally exposing themselves there is bugger all left for the imagination. Watching them stretch on the warm up/down mats raises a few eyebrows.

@Tabitha005 Sleazy men will always sleaze, you can't change the ones who do it. So better to not be slathered over by them

On a positive note, the younger generation despite being more full of testosterone, have been raised with their mums, teachers and society talking about consent, being equals and not to stare etc and I can see it in motion.

Long t shirts aren't the best to wear to the gym....

No, I don't wear long t-shirts to the gym either. My gym leggings don't show the shape of my crotch though.

Agree. It has nothing to do with sexuality,the male gaze and all that other claptrap. The fact is that in 95 percent of the societies on planet earth, flaunting one's ass and genitals in public is considered indecent. At any age over, say, eight months, and even then only at the beach.

I really have to wonder at the calibre of parent who just throws up their hands and says they can't do anything about it. Really?

Throughout human history, clothing and personal adornment has been symbolic. What we wear is not neutral, it sends a message and reflects on us. These booty shorts with camel toe are such an utterly low-class and ignorant look. Is that how you want future employers seeing your child when they check their social media? Or how you want neighbours and community members to assess your parenting?

Whatever happened to aspirational dressing? Trying to actually look nice, pulled-together and chic instead of like a boardwalk hooker.

I think they all do it

It looks awful but im sure i looked awful aged 13 albeit in a different way: i never showed an inch of flesh and my Mother was forever telling me to get some sun on my skin

You could make her wear longer shorts but i think they roll them up

I have underwear that covers more flesh

I think those shorts would somehow get “lost” in the wash if my 13yo was to acquire a pair….

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune

We're talking about 13 year olds. This is what they believe to be chic

Why use subterfuge instead of asserting your authority as the child's parent?

well if OP feels like she doesn’t want a big set to it’s one response?
Personally I don’t buy this kind of thing for my 13yo, no way. Tend to buy much longer shorts from the boys section which she prefers anyhow.

Had to google nike pro. They are very short but I think wearers will definitely "hitch" them up so they are even shorter. It's all about attracting attention ans a lot of girls are looking to attract male attention that way, hence the reason 13 year olds shouldn't be wearing them.

It's not only for male attention - it's a female v female thing too . They see all these SM influencers and women getting rich from Only Fans etc and Love Island and they want to be part of it. They want to be the prettiest, the coolest, the raunchiest whatever. They have had a right number done on them by SM. Fortunately some of the ones better blessed with some IQ realise that this is not the only way to live in life.

My daughter is clearly doing something wrong, her rowing shorts (Nike Pros, Vinted so not £30) don't show any genitals. Must try harder.

As a fellow rower the clothing available tends to be designed for comfort while participating in the sport. Yes, 'onesies', shorts or leggings are snug to allow free movement but they all tend to have a double layer/gusset thus avoiding the 'spray on' look or the risk of showing too much when bending over and picking up your boat.