AIBU about DD's gym knicker "shorts"?

[RiderGirl]

DD is just turned 13 and has taken to wearing "shorts" that I can only describe as looking like 1980's gym knickers in length, the literally sit in the crease of her buttocks. AIBU in saying that she isn't allowed to step outside the house wearing them? We keep falling out about it but I think they're wildly inappropriate!! To make it worse she wears them with a large t shirt and it just looks like she's in a t shirt and pants 🙈

She's 13 - what her mates are wearing is WAY more important to her than what anyone else thinks.

I'm a 70 year old woman and I'm not a sick fucker for noticing.

Then you’re not who I’m referring to. 🙄🤣

You're the parent. Tell her to wear a longer shirt or skirt or trousers over them. Your house, your rules.

Presumably your teenager wears swimwear at the beach, and would wear a leotard if they did gymnastics or whatever. There's no more 'on show' with booty shorts than there is with a swimsuit. Why is it harmful for a man to see her bum on the high street but not on the beach?

I don't think the male gaze is relevant because they will look regardless but certain circumstances require certain clothes. I wouldn't wear a bikini or swimsuit at work or a central London restaurant.

Is there the same fashion men and boys??

This.. I believe you can't just let them do what they want to do with their bodies because you are the parent an they are still your child. I'd be horrified if my mum let me do whatever I wanted to do in my teens and suffer the rest of my life because of any incident or self esteem issues.

Purposeful camel toe I cannot bear - on anyone. It's vile. Certainly would be telling my DD13 to put her vagina away.

I can just about handle the scrunch bum on adults but even that makes me feel a bit queasy.

Yes bum floss is right. So funny living in a seaside holiday town and going about normal life and the holiday makers are living a completely different life, just for a week or two, soon to be replaced by the next lot.

Exactly.

How are they purchasing these items without parental approval?

They cover her bum, that's the main thing.

But I'm looking/seeing, why do you assume that a man doing the same thing is doing it because he's a sick fuck? Maybe he's just innocently walking along and is suddenly faced with what looks like a barebackside walking down the street. Why is that his fault, I mean if he's leering or trying to get closer or something but just looking is something that happens

My 12 yo is the same. I think the baggy T-shirt offsets the shorts to some degree
To be fair she will change them if we are going out or cover up with a hoodie.

I'd explain to her how her clothes can be perceived by other people (old women, young men, ... everyone really). But not make it a massive issue, just let her know how what she perceives as fashionable can be viewed differently by different people.

I was shocked when out at the weekend at the skimpy tops and skirts being worn - showing way more than I would - but only I seemed to notice, didn't see anyone else even take a casual glance so it's clearly me that has the issue.

Don't most 13 year olds go out shopping with their friends? Parents giving them some money, family giving birthday money, kids getting an allowance?

Exactly. Men were leering at my 14 year old daughter in Waitrose the other day. She was wearing her riding gear and long riding boots. She looks young for 14 too. They are sick.

This.. I believe you can't just let them do what they want to do with their bodies because you are the parent an they are still your child. I'd be horrified if my mum let me do whatever I wanted to do in my teens and suffer the rest of my life because of any incident or self esteem issues.

Its not whatever they want. It’s just allowing them to wear a pair of shorts.

What incident?

Unless my GSs are unusual I think the fashion with boys is big baggy shorts.

I know I am so sorry 😂

The camel toe issue would stop my DD13 from wearing them, we went through this with leggings in the winter. It's really not a good look.

If she has a camel toe then the shorts don't fit her. Try going one size up and that might help with the rest of the issues too.

Exactly. Men were leering at my 14 year old daughter in Waitrose the other day. She was wearing her riding gear and long riding boots. She looks young for 14 too. They are sick.

Yep. I said earlier on the thread that my daughter is leered at wearing jeans, top and shirt. Also 14 and looks it. She has autism and hates being looked at. Sick fuckers. If it wouldn’t embarrass her, I’d say something. Dirty bastards.

I'm a heterosexual woman and I don't leer at anyone. However some clothes invite my attention much more than others. I'm not sure why- maybe it's because it's a moving shape? The bum shorts get my eyes' attention much more than bag trousers.

@Iwasafool if a teen isn’t sensible enough to buy sensible clothes then they shouldn’t be trusted with money - regardless of whether it’s pocket money/birthday money/whatever and they shouldn’t be allowed to go shopping independently.

Incident like friends taking photos or period blood leaking or poo/pee stains showing urghhh

Tip for parents of younger children. Find something small to be horrified by before they start wearing pants to the shops. I act affronted by my 13 year old’s hat/holey socks without actually taking them away and she gets to feel like she has rebelled. Everyone’s a winner.

OP, many people on here will tell you not to body shame / slut shame your DD. That you should let her wear anything she wants. Just like they did on the post the other day about a child walking Homs in her swimming costume through town.
But they are all bonkers! Just because Kim Kardashian or Lizzo wear skimpy clothing, it doesn’t mean we should encourage our daughters to.