AIBU about DD's gym knicker "shorts"?

[RiderGirl]

DD is just turned 13 and has taken to wearing "shorts" that I can only describe as looking like 1980's gym knickers in length, the literally sit in the crease of her buttocks. AIBU in saying that she isn't allowed to step outside the house wearing them? We keep falling out about it but I think they're wildly inappropriate!! To make it worse she wears them with a large t shirt and it just looks like she's in a t shirt and pants 🙈

Yep. Same old story...it's different for women isn't it? I despair

It’s definitely a trend with the girls from one local school age 13-15 ish (we are next to park so see lots of kids) plus fake tan and fake lashes.
I’m not keen on it and yes on some you can see full camel toe.
Fortunately my teen daughter is at the other school where the look isn’t in so I haven’t had to deal with it.

It's a moot point.

Heterosexual men's societal worth has never been as sexual objects.

Bius have entirely separate issues to navigate. Showing the outline of their scrotum for cool points will never be one of them.

Says it all, really!

They look absolutely awful. I don’t want to see butt cheeks hanging out of minute shorts, especially on a high street / in supermarkets etc. Just no.

Defo batty riders in South😂 one would even say pum pum shorts!

No, men would not wear these.. The shops are not full of super tight figure hugging shorts for boys. Boys' arses are not routinely clad in buttock-clinging fabrics. Gay men might favour them for clubbing or something. It's sexualising clothing, and girls shouldn't give in to it. The only girls who actually suit them are very slim, slender and narrow-hipped, they just look sporty in them. It's an atrocious fashion, clothes are meant to flatter the wearer - these show every lump and bump of cellulite or whatever. In the same way in the sixties, some women looked great in miniskirts but if you had big thighs they weren't flattering at all.

There used to be a guy who came to our gym class in budgie smugglers and a tiny crop top that barely covered his nipples. He looked utterly awful and nobody knew where to look.

Swimwear is for the pool or the beach, not for other settings.

That's sort of my point, it's the same old double standards.

On the TV reality shows women wear thongs, men wear swim shorts. Why is there no expectation for men to show more?

Very true.

Sadly, for boys, outside of the usual pressure for £200 trainers. £900 phone and certain sports brands it seems to be the Love Island gym body and the short cuts (supplements/steroids) to achieve it that makes me despair.

I'm in my middle 20s now. My mom used to say I could not go out in short shorts on skirts and as a teenager I obv didn't like it much but I'm so glad my mum persevered and had standards back when I was too dumb to do that. I think go on. The way you dress saus something about you. As teenagers we don't appreciate the message we're sending out. We think 'everyone' s doing it'! But they're really not. We need our moms to guide even if we don't like it at the time.

seen lots of girls in these, so obviously a trend atm. I agree very similar to PE knickers, mine were navy blue, I hated wearing them at school (all girls)

I wouldn't have let me daughter go out wearing shorts like that at 13, but I brought her up to not care about fashions and to develop her own individual style.

It's crazy when you think about it because at school we hated the gym knickers and we wanted the skirts and campaigned for proper shorts/long trousers. The girls of today would be delighted with our knicker shorts. Maybe girls were just more modest back in the 80s. These days it's almost a uniform they wear of everything out. I understand about fashion but there's fashion and then there's displaying everything. I'm glad I have a boy who has his own individual style. I don't think I could cope with a daughter wearing shorts like that!

A very gentle YABU. We are all old and out of touch. I would prob want to stop her too if she was my daughter, but it didn't work when we were kids, I doubt it will work now.

If you are controlling what your daughter wears then you are not teaching her to develop her individual taste, you are just making her wear your taste.

It would be a no from me - she could wear that in the house but not into town. Too many weirdos out there as it is, and sending out a message of being sexually available at 12 years old makes her less safe. (I didn't create that message but it's naive to think perves won't read it that way).

I see loads of teens wearing these with a black tight vest or sports bra type top and can remember wearing hot pant style shorts myself (bought from 915 at New Look - is that still going?). Really not very different to the hot pants we wore, just a sportier style. They are wearing them in the upper years of our Primary school.

I find those distasteful on adult PTs in the gym; the very purpose of them is to sexualise and I don’t think that the gym is the place for that either. While mine wear Nike pros for sport, there’s no way on earth I’d be happy with those.
You’ll have to try aversion therapy - get a couple of pairs for you and your husband to wear around the house and hope the penny drops how ludicrous they are..!

At 13 I wouldn’t let my DD go out in anything too revealing.

I am shocked how many kids are walking around with their bum cheeks hanging out and tops that barely cover their nipples.

I’m a very young mum and not prudish in anyway but I’m also aware that many men will find my teen sexually attractive and I don’t want them getting off on seeing her bum cheeks.

When she’s old enough to understand that what you wear can change someone’s perception of you and make certain men more likely to hit on you because of it, then I’ll stop having a say in what she wears.
Until then I will still guide her on what’s appropriate and what’s not appropriate.

I’d be more than happy for her to wear this at the beach or at home but not going into town.

Well said @HotSince82.
I’m nearly 70 and I shudder at some fashion (probably definitely a fuddy duddy but I don’t give a toss)
I glanced out the window earlier and three girls were walking pass wearing these pants; on two of them they looked more like thongs, so much buttock was exposed. To me is definitely wasn’t attractive.
If fashion insists on sexualising girls from a young age, and parents don’t guide their children, just what hope is there 😡
It’s all very well saying men should no better but they often don’t, and porn drives a lot of them.

Yes! And there is a time, and a place for wearing such things imo😁

This.
My 13 year old is currently wearing the exact same thing. Reminds me of the cycling short/long t-shirt combo I was wearing at a similar age.
It’s fashionable right now. A fairly harmless fashion in my opinion. It could be tiny shirts and a crop top.

They are absolutely horrendous and I think that the girls are idiots to wear them. What are they thinking. I wouldn't wear knickers out of the house. Why wear something that clearly shows ass cheeks and outline of vagina. What are they thinking!

I just worked in a summer school for a month last month in Norfolk. There were older teachers (all in our thirties - forties and fifties), and then there were also a lot of young women working in the camp who were all aged about 21 -22. They were running the extra curricular activities in the summer camp.
Every single one of those women wore those tiny shorts. We all commented on them as we thought they were so inappropriate. They are not shorts. They are hotpants. You could see ass cheeks. And these young women were working with teenagers.

This was a place of work. The other teachers and myself said that we wouldn't be allowed to wear hotpants into a classroom as it would be inappropriate. So why are these young women allowed to wear hotpants showing add cheeks at a place of work?

It also led to some disgusting comments from some of the older male teachers. The male teachers were totally at fault. But just to say what they said . I heard one male teacher (late fifties) comment on several of the girls asses. And I heard another older male teacher say "after seeing these girls in tiny shorts all month I need to go home and get seen to by my wife. "

The shorts are totally inappropriate to wear. We need to have a common code of dress decency. I wouldn't wear bikini bottoms to teach a class.

I didn't need to control what my daughter wore because she wasn't interested following fashions, so there were never any occasions where this was an issue. But unless she was on the beach or wearing them for sports, I would have put my foot down with a 13 year old wearing something that revealing going out with friends. It has nothing to do with my individual taste but with her safety and not encouraging weirdos.