Adam Kay and his husband’s babies

[MatildaTheCat]

Apologies if this has already been covered.

I read in the paper this morning that AK and his DH have welcomed TWO babies into their lives, born to two different surrogates. One child is six months old and their sibling is two months old.

I genuinely cannot wrap my head around this. It seems so very odd to me. Is it a case of ‘one each’ or ‘get the baby stages over asap’?

Obviously nobody but the two parents can answer this but AIBU to find this really quite disturbing?

I’m another in the “surrogacy is child trafficking” camp. No decent person would do it.

NHS clinician here. His stories sadly ring very true from my experiences in obs and gynae in the early 2000s.

FFS can you not describe a child who has been removed from their birth mother as ‘completely damaged’.

Because it is untrue, or because it isn’t polite to say out loud?

UGH. There's being a little bit risqué in your comedy and there's being downright cuntish. I know which category this falls into...

Surrogacy reminds me of The Handmaid's Tale. Really messed up.

You don't understand medic humour and how dark it is. Of necessity, to get through life without all of us having PTSD from what we see

Presumably it was a BOGOF deal?

Do you all talk about women's bodies like that then?
And ridicule them behind their backs? Humiliate them? Belittle them? Feel disgusted and repulsed by them? Whinge if an elderly one you're responsible for has the temerity to be dying alone on your watch? On Christmas Eve? (Or possibly NYE, can't remember now but it was certainly all "poor me" and not poor terrified lady dying.

I fucking hope not.

Do you all call children with Downs' Syndrome what he called them. IN PRINT. IN SONG. FOR THE LOLZ.

?

Is everyone to be judged on their behaviour in their late teens, early 20s, which is when those songs were written.

Adam gets a lot of flack for it and yes they are offensive, but not JUST to women, they're offensive to medical students, drug companies, the london underground, a wide variety of people and concepts.

They were also written in conjunction with Suman Biswas, who is still performing them and writing new ones and last I looked he's still an anaesthetist as well... but clearly he's innocent of all wrongdoing, poor taste or offensive gags.

It's comedy, it may not be your preferred kind of comedy, but it is comedy, and therefore not necessarily a true reflection of someones current opinions.

Here we go with the "but it's gallows humour".

It's fucking abusive.

Hmm, I was a nurse for 25 years yet if I knew someone had written a song like that I’d know they we’re definitely a wrong ‘un and a serious misogynist

My husband is. No addiction or mental health issues or anything in his birth parents, put up for adoption immediately after birth (they were just too young), loving middle class family growing up. Still shit loads of attachment, drug, alcohol, self harm and other issues. You may have had a better experience but don't act like others' experiences aren't real.

Without attacking me, please could someone explain what makes AK misogynistic? I don’t really remember his books in detail. I’d love to be educated.

You’ve only got to read this thread

It's pretty harsh that they made two women go through the horror of everything he has complained about since leaving the NHS.

Complained about and got paid for - the misogyny of the NHS. But it's fine when the end game centres his and his husbands needs over the women.

Patriarchy and misogyny to the bone.

Sorry Jemima! I was agreeing with you

No worries, whichwhatnow, I was just about to apologise for not being clear myself!

I’ve never been into that myself but I can understand how it would really put you off 😆

(sorry for contributing absolutely nothing to the thread, although I didn’t realise some of the vile material he’s created)

Also surely surrogates consent to doing so?

Yep

The album with the songs was released in 2004 and he was already working for the NHS.

He also missed the birth for some reason. And yes he'll get a book out of it. When men parent children it's some kind of extraordinary challenge and sacrifice.
Sorry to derail but here is another man buying his children (twins in this case) via surrogate and now monetising them on every possible channel plus a book.

https://womensagenda.com.au/life/womens-health-news/the-mini-period-why-fathers-must-take-active-roles-in-their-daughters-health/

Yes. Wildly. But some people have nothing better to do in life than be outraged, makes them feel morally superior ☺️

No he does not seem a decent sort he is a raving misogynist, knows all about the inherent dangers of pregnancy and childbirth for women after seeing it first hand (and mocking it, the women and their bodies) then deliberately goes to a country with laxer laws on surrogacy to buy two babies thinking nothing of the babies or the possible dangers for the women undergoing pregnancy and childbirth which he knows is not a always easy or safe. But hey, selfish male wants children so he gets what he wants.

Children and women are not commodities for the desires and wishes of men (or indeed other women who use surrogates) and should never be used as such.

Surrogacy in all forms should be banned worldwide it is human trafficking by another name.

I've worked in an allied emergency profession and am very familiar with the coping strategies and gallows humour.

I'm very glad to say no one I ever worked with matches him for crude misogyny and failing to acknowledge and respect vulnerability.

There's gallows humour, and then there's working unprofessionally and counter to your registration and code of conduct. Adam Kay has caused so much harm both in the moment of behaving badly at work and each time he tells an "anecdote" about women's trauma.