Tedious performative under eaters

[SlimPig]

The thread about the PIL's measly portions reminded me of this, and how iritating it is. I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that! Hadn't even opened it and looked at it yet.

Then, once opened, both of them, oh my god, I'll never eat all that (measly takeaway cardboard box portion, not a massive, in paper, large portion) ooh dear, we won't need dinner, or breakfast tomorrow now will we! Don't think I can eat my peas too, I'm so stuffed. I'm going to need to go for two runs tomorrow now! On and on, through the whole meal.

I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig, I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed.

Why? Why do people do this? Why can't they just eat their food normally? Why does everything have to be justified and offset? Just strikes me as so sad that they couldn't just eat their food without a whole performance (infront of all the men in the office, only 3 women there, me and them) of how birdlike they normally eat 😥

Yep, my Mum is like this and has a friend very similar, they are hard work in stereo. They treat being and staying slim as some sort of great life achievement. I genuinely find it sad. My mum never seems to be happier than when telling me how much weight someone we know has 'piled' on. No idea why she tells me, I always say - who cares! No one else in my family is like this about food/weight! She has a way of taking one biscuit out of a packet and with a wry smile will twist the packet closed with a flourish as if to say, 'see my self control! I can enjoy just one!'

Fish and chips is a really stodgy takeaway and makes you feel quite ill when you’ve eaten it.

No it isn't and no it doesn't.

We’ve lost sight of normal portion sizes and now think that gigantic ones are normal.

No we haven't and no we don't.

Specifically 2 or 3 nicknames I can think of. They just don't get the point completely, it's so annoying even to read it.

"Tbh, any takeaway I’ve ever had has seemed enormous to me. I’d have to be pretty hungry that day to eat it all - even if it comes in a box. I think fish and chips is a really stodgy takeaway and makes me feel quite ill when I’ve eaten it. I don't want to lose sight of normal portion sizes for me and start to think that gigantic ones are normal. So I’m going to carry on eating the right amount for me and I will try not to make such a song and dance about it."

@Hongkongsuey fixed it for you 😊

Yanbu it's really annoying. Especially when they want to share something with you as they won't manage a whole one by themselves. No I want my own

I'd rather be a bit overweight and enjoy my life eating nice food.

some people eat to live,others live to eat

I'd rather be the latter

It's not about how much they are eating. It's about the fuss.

If you don't understand this you've either not experienced it or you do it yourself!

I have a friend who is v slim. Never finishes her meals. Never wants a biscuit or cake with coffee (except b.day cake to be social) She's totally fine. She eats what she wants and then stops. She says NOTHING about it (apart from oh no thanks!) and nothing about whatever anyone else is having.

If i'd have read this thread without knowing MIL i'd have not understood and maybe said to OP live and live.

BUT - MIL.
15 years of EVERY TIME food is around - any food, a cake, a lolly, a 3 course meal out, a cupcake her GD has made - on goes the ''i MUST repeatedly make sure everyone knows how little i eat compared to everyone else'' machine in her head.

It's not just 'oh, that's nice but i'm full so i'll leave the rest thanks'. It's:

Oooh are we having cake? OH GOD!! <loud fake laugh> Really ....... ?
Oh i'm not sure .....
Oh i'm not ....
Oh i won't eat much.
Oh i wouldn't have had that fruit Roger (FIL) if we'd have know would we? WOULD WE??!
Is everyone having some? Oh GOD ...
(Roger is tucking into his slice)

And she's handed the cake:

''OHHHHHH all this cake! Gosh! Ha Ha Ha
Oh blimey i'll have to share this
Oh gawd Roger will you have half ... OH you're eating yours Roger?! Really?
Oh you all must love your cake ...
You at you Laiste you must love cake ....

We're eating the cake:

WE just don't have it at home do we Roger?
Oh look <pushes it round the plate> muttering ''All that cream ....''
We eat very sparingly don't we.
Don't we Roger?
(Roger is ignoring)
We'll have to walk a MILE to get this off H HA HA!
Do you walk it all off Laiste? Will you?
You must have to.
We will won't we Roger?
We'll walk it off later.
Yes.

OH GD you're having some too!
Oh ...... look at that! You must love cake!

I mean - it's been a palaver typing all this out but this is what it's like!
Everyone else is just getting on with their conversations and this is chunnering away in the background the whole time. Every bloody time!

We're out for a meal.
The menu comes out:

OOOOH is there nothing TINY?
Oh i don't know
OH it's quite, most of it is, Ohhh so much fatty ...
ohhhhh i cant
oh look Roger ...
What are you having Laiste? ARE you? All to yourself?!
and on and on and on

Can people not see the difference between that and someone who just does not eat much?

I can only eat small volumes due to GI issues caused by a chronic health condition. Also limits what I can eat. I don’t make a song and dance about it as I find it (a) embarrassing; and (b) really miserable, as I love food and one of my greatest pleasures in life has been taken away. Whenever people make a big performance of eating less I just think “oh do give over!” I’m so grateful that I ate all the lovely things while I could, too! Yes I’m thinner now. I’d rather be well, able to eat happily, and not have a chronic health condition.

As someone who’s mother had exactly this problem, and I have had to put up with this nonsense ALL OF MY CHILDHOOD I can tell you it is deeply irritating. If the person who keeps saying it has an issue, they need to sort it out. They have no right to submit others to their endless shite.

my mother spends her entire life endlessly commenting on what we eat, whether it’s going to make us fat; what that person over there is eating, how fat they are. I no longer eat in her presence as I cannot stand the endless, depressing, stream of offensive nonsense. Why on earth do people think it’s acceptable to comment on what other people choose to eat???

and incase you say I’m only defending op because I’m fat, I eat large portions of nutritious carbs and protein - more than anyone I know - and never pass up a bit of cake. I weigh 55kg as I swim 2 miles a day every day.

😂😂

That was amazing, thank you so much for typing that all out!

I do sympathise with you, sounds bloody insufferable.

@Laiste That post was priceless. That's exactly it. I feel your pain 😂

These types drive me mad. It’s so annoying.

@silverbubbles genius 😂They get what they ask for.

@JackieDaws

I'd rather stay at a size 6 than be constantly shovelling down food. Besides it's more to spend on lovely clothes that fit properly and don't look like they're bursting at the seams...

Agree with @BellePeppa What an utterly repugnant comment. Fat-shaming, rude, and sickening comment.

Huge!!

A whole pizza express pizza from Tesco is 608 calories 😂 that’s a perfectly normal dinner.

Comments like this are exactly what OP is on about.

Hungry people aren’t always fat you know - we can be size 8 too :)

OP isn’t telling people to hurry up, she’s saying why are there always women saying they can’t possibly finish anything. If you can’t finish it don’t, no need to make a song and dance about it.

Agree 😆 @Laiste that LONG post was fecking funny!

Cliff Richard says this!

I'm embarrassed by my long post but i had to get it out the way it is!

😂

My manager (bloke) constantly gets comments about how much he eats. I have had the same but am now fully WFH so it isn’t as bad as I don’t eat on calls. But if I hear anyone comment to him I say something like “being that much of a legend takes a lot of fuel” just because I hate the fact everyone’s commenting.

I loved it, it perfectly encapsulated what OP is talking about!

I don't think you've understood the OP.

He/she actually agrees with you! You have anxiety around eating in public because someone made comments which made you feel bad while you were eating. That exactly what the OP is complaining about. The performance and direct/indirect judgement about how much/little people are eating.

The only difference is that you eat little and they eat more, which you seem to think makes a difference. It doesn't.

Perhaps you could take responsibility for yourself, and ignore them, or move away, rather than wishing they would look after your whims?

@Laiste that was wonderful, and congrats on not stabbing her with the cake fork when she tells her granddaughter "You must love cake!"

Absolutely got it, and the contrast with your friend is perfect.

My mums like this, oh only a small portion for me, serve it, oh that’s far to much

she still eats it all though, and has pudding!