Tedious performative under eaters

[SlimPig]

The thread about the PIL's measly portions reminded me of this, and how iritating it is. I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that! Hadn't even opened it and looked at it yet.

Then, once opened, both of them, oh my god, I'll never eat all that (measly takeaway cardboard box portion, not a massive, in paper, large portion) ooh dear, we won't need dinner, or breakfast tomorrow now will we! Don't think I can eat my peas too, I'm so stuffed. I'm going to need to go for two runs tomorrow now! On and on, through the whole meal.

I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig, I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed.

Why? Why do people do this? Why can't they just eat their food normally? Why does everything have to be justified and offset? Just strikes me as so sad that they couldn't just eat their food without a whole performance (infront of all the men in the office, only 3 women there, me and them) of how birdlike they normally eat 😥

Good for your daughter. What did MIL say in response?

Gosh that is dangerous with teen girls! Good on your DD!

Bloody good on your DD.

This is not a food amount eating comment, but my mother s obsessed with size. My parents are apple shapes as indeed am I. My mother looks at the size tags in my clothes when she visits so i cut them out in advance. She looks me up and down with pursed lips. Last time I saw them I was 2 stone overweight. i am now 3 stone overweight and have in my background bulimia and binge eating disorder.

Anyway, last time my parents visited she made a mention of my size and my austistic then 9 year old drew himself up and boomed in a loud voice; 'WE WILL HAVE NO BODY SHAMING IN THIS HOUSE'.

Due to covid we have not seen them for nearly 4 years (they live thousands of miles away). They are visiting at the end of March and I am lready starting to angst about it.

Both my boys take after their dad- long, tall, thin. How many times I have heard; 'Thank God they don';t take after you'.

@WinterLobelia That is so sad. Sorry you have to deal with it but what a marvellous son you have!! 😀

Oh he's great. :)

He also (when he spies me putting on makeup says; 'You don't need that, mum. You're beautiful as you are'.

I am a bit obsessive about complimenting them. I had horrid self esteem growing up. I was recalling the other day how i once asked my DM if she thought I was pretty- I was about 10 then. She paused then said ; 'You have a strong character and that makes up for it'.

I am 50 now and still think 'what the actual fuck?'.

That’s awful Winter. We are so flipping careful what we say to our teen girls re eating so to see mil clod hopping all over the issue was a total cringe. Fortunately dd2 is very confident and looks like a super model but am sure mil would say the same if that was not the case and could cause real harm. Mil looked taken aback I wanted to say “don’t dish it out if you can’t take it” but didn’t but said it in my head instead.

I used to hate when the two women I shared an office with would come over & nose into my lunch. It was always “Oooh, you’re sooo healthy!” I’d be having soup or salad or sushi. Stuff I ate all the time. Because l like it.

They spent all day stuffing their chops with McDonalds, crisps, chocolate, cake & buckets of Starbucks. And bring in home-baked treats. Which I always ate some. But they were both fat & I was slim. They didn’t like it at all...

They spent all day stuffing their chops with McDonalds

Are you sure they didn't just eat their McDonalds? Oh no sorry, of course they stuffed their big fat chops while lovely slim you ate your food like a normal person.

On the one hand, they shouldn't be commenting on your food at all. On the other, they were at least being complimentary, and you're a food and body shamer.

Tbf to@HelloBunny
"Ooooh, you are so healthy!" Is very rarely actually a compliment during lunch time. So I will go with my 5 yeard old inside me and say "they started it and deserve that comment"

Ugh @WinterLobelia ! That’s on her. Regardless of what you look like, you have raised two lovely children with self esteem and confidence so you are undoubtedly beautiful! 🤗

@Applesandcarrots how is your so healthy not a complement?

It's weird but it really usually is not.
And I say that as an overweight, formerly severly, person who had that when I had my salads for lunch (not weightloss, I just love salads!).
It is usually bit of a dig. Hard to explain but you know. Especially from colleagues/classmates who like to comment.

It's kind of more acceptable version of "is that all you are eating" essentially from my experience

Re someone else’s food you either say “oh that looks nice” or you say nothing

This ^ same as commenting on someone’s appearance, the only acceptable comment to make.

Well, I ate about 40 fucking chicken nuggets this weekend, I might start a thread to send the MN undereaters into a coniption 😂

But... But...
Obesity epidemic!

This thread has made me aware of my own mealtime foibles. I never comment on other people’s food but this thread has made me realise that I get anxious if someone places a huge plate of food in front of me. I think I am going to have to eat it all, but I hate the feeling of being stuffed. And I do think about gaining weight - which I don’t like on me. Again, I think other people look nice whatever their size but I like to be slim.

I do wonder how other people can eat so much and not be anxious about it. I would love that freedom. I have had issues around food and body image since I was younger. I thought I was over it but this thread has made me think otherwise.

Firstly, remember that you don't need to finish it. Really.

Secondly, most people don't eat that size of plate all the time. I realised I always naturally balanced, especially when younger. So after dinner, night out and 3am kebab, I wasn't hungry next day much so eat much less than usual. It still works on me usually even now. You can always opt for light lunch before night out etc.

Healthy eating is about balance imho. As long as the balance isn't very much repeatedly discussed during the meal😉

It's ok becuase I'm not going need breakfast or lunch for two days now.

Well, 2 days won't do it. Week minimum. I mean like who needa lunches more than once a week anyway

My mum goes on about portion sizes in restaurants AND the prices "I could have made this for half the price" (She's also not a very good cook..."

Does she use a small aubergine?

Both my boys take after their dad- long, tall, thin. How many times I have heard; 'Thank God they don';t take after you'.

My own mother does this to me! She's always going on about how lucky it is that my DS and my nephew (brother's son) take after the other side. It's so depressing and weird. I'm sorry your own children have such defective genes mum. I'm not fat by the way but I am ugly.

1000 posts! 😮