Tedious performative under eaters

[SlimPig]

The thread about the PIL's measly portions reminded me of this, and how iritating it is. I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that! Hadn't even opened it and looked at it yet.

Then, once opened, both of them, oh my god, I'll never eat all that (measly takeaway cardboard box portion, not a massive, in paper, large portion) ooh dear, we won't need dinner, or breakfast tomorrow now will we! Don't think I can eat my peas too, I'm so stuffed. I'm going to need to go for two runs tomorrow now! On and on, through the whole meal.

I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig, I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed.

Why? Why do people do this? Why can't they just eat their food normally? Why does everything have to be justified and offset? Just strikes me as so sad that they couldn't just eat their food without a whole performance (infront of all the men in the office, only 3 women there, me and them) of how birdlike they normally eat 😥

I eat miniscule portions, maybe a third of a child's portion or a scoop of mash with gravy. Would you judge me? I weigh 40kg.
Before you answer I had my entire stomach and duodenum removed to save my life. At the moment I am on a feeding line but you can't see it. Sometimes I just want something in front of me so I don't stand out.

…. Are we related?! This is EXACTLY my MIL. Though mine will throw in some commentary on how ‘massive’ our dishes are, i.e. that we’re gluttonous pigs, on top of her salad performance.

It's mostly people from hick counties and in particular the kmwn who do this. Honestly if you don't know where they're from already and you ask, I bet it's places like ex mining towns and agricultural areas, they are all backwards and believe they have to maintain appearances in from of men at all times. The funny part is their kids are usually hick stoners and go off the rails a lot more than their city/town dwelling equivalents.

*in particular the women

**UpperLowerMiddleClass · Today 12:06
And then there’s my MIL going on and on about how could anyone possibly manage a pudding after a (average sized) main course in a restaurant, as I work my way through a nice slab of sticky toffee pudding. She would never eat a pudding… She does daily drink at least 3 glasses of wine, but that’s somehow different in her mind, even if it’s more calories than my pudding! **

My ML is like this, she once spent a few days at my house without DP, and constantly talked about how she could hardly eat anything, then complained afterwards that I had starved her. She even cooked dinner some nights, then made a big deal about saving most of it for tomorrow.

More recently, we were eating out, and she started on the "huge portions" talk, and how nobody could possibly eat dessert. To our shame, DS and I promptly ordered the sticky toffee puddings! Afterwards we admitted to each other that we only did it to make the point.

Sorry, what?

No it isn’t. I used to teach psychology and one activity we did about perception was to take a single chocolate covered raisin, put it into your mouth and really concentrate and notice what you could taste, feel and experience.
many students said that they had no idea that such a small thing could taste so good.
it is the same with a Mars bar - eat the whole thing quickly and mindlessly and you won’t enjoy it that much. Eat it like this person’s flat mate and you really taste and enjoy it.

Seriously?? Where has OP said she is forcing people to eat her portion size (normal by the way) the whole point is, eat what the F you want but don't berate other people for eating differently, not that difficult to understand is it? So do you go around telling people how little you eat or ask others how they could possibly manage that 'massive' portion? no so if not you have of course missed the whole point

qué?

That phrase particularly gets my back up and I'll tell you why:

DH has long-standing issues with food and he stopped contact with his granny when he was a teen because of her constant comments about his weight.

The first time he saw her after almost a decade was, sadly, the morning of his mum's funeral. She almost immediately made a comment about how he was shorter than his cousin, then said "maybe [cousin] just looks taller because he's nice and slim".

On the way to the meal after the service, I heard her muttering to DH's grandad about the weight/appearance of three other people who'd attended to pay their respects to my MIL. What the fuck??

@Forfrigz bloody hell what a comment to make. I can assure you someone being an annoying git does not restrict itself by boundaries

It’s not about how much people eat. The OP is talking about performative undereating.

^^Making a big deal out of how little you eat/how much others eat is the issue, not the amount eaten.

I really don't see it as an issue. It's their problem, not yours. Why would it make you change the way yo eat

Actually - the Mars bar thing - i've done similar.

If you're trying to lose a few lbs having a little bit of something after your main meal, just having the taste of it in your mouth, is sometimes perfectly enough. As good as having the whole thing.

(just please don't go on and on to everyone in the house about how you're having your teeeeny weeeeeny slice while they're having a normal amount 😂)

When I come act people like that I always think the lady doth protest too much

must inhale it at home

Why do we need to know your weight and activity level?

Completely irrelevant and tone deaf in thread where eating disorders are being discussed.

I also worked with a woman that only ate half. She’d bring food then eat half, if we ate out she’d order a normal meal then leave half. If you’ve only got a small appetite just order something smaller or bring less food! Didn’t matter what it was - a pub lunch, a sandwich, a bit of cake - only ate half. After a while I realised it must be a deliberate thing to control her weight (she was v slim), but what a massive massive waste of food.

So many people missing the point.
Eat as much or as little as you want. Just don't go on about it, and shut the fuck up about what someone else is or isn't eating.

Because quite a lot of people have been implying that OP is a pig for wanting to eat a normal (or large) portion. I’m making the point that healthy normal weight people need food.

Why should she have to ignore the comments? Why don’t people learn not to be so offensive?

All stems from the perceived virtuousity of holding back and presenting yourself as a paragon of self-control, and being taught that slim = automatically good. I feel sorry for people like that as more often than not they announce it to absolve themselves of the "guilt" of eating. Diet culture really rams it home with rewarding eating less. Should you try and lose weight if you're overweight? Yes, probably, because it's better for your overall health. Should you feel bad if you don't lose weight? No.

I am in recovery for an ED. I have worked bloody hard to get where I am and to be able to eat my lunch at my desk with relatively few issues. However. There is one of the managers who feels the need to comment on other peoples food constantly. If she feels that you are eating too much she will bark ‘are you pregnant?!?’ At the top of her voice at you.

I was eating a perfectly ordinary sized portion of pasta salad for my lunch. She stood up, looked over the desk with a look of revulsion on her face and said ‘Urgh… how can you eat all that?’

’Well Dawn. What I do is put the pasta on the fork, put it in my mouth, chew for a bit and swallow. You must eat yours by shoving it up your arse if you’re confused by it?’ I replied

I cannot stand the way she focusses on other peoples food. The thing is, she compulsively over exercises and eats next to nothing and no one says a word because we are bloody rude. I’ve resolved the next time she makes a comment about my lunch I will be escalating it because it’s so triggering.

Someone posted a pic of Cliff recently and I mistook him for an extra from The Walking Dead! If that's what eating one meal does for you...

I get you OP. I just eat how much I want, I doubt anyone needs a running commentary about how I’m getting on. I would never judge how much another person ate whether its a lot or a little. Tbh I don’t notice because I’m busy stuffing my face.

OP isn’t saying people need to eat x amount, OP is saying people should just shut up with the “oooooohhhh I’m going to have to fast for 6 weeks after this half twix”.

@Healthyappetite

They have no right to submit others to their endless shite

They do. It's called free speech. You are allowed to say whatever you want, too. Nobody is obliged to listen. Nobody has any right to control what others say. Otherwise you'd be in the wrong for calling people's words 'endless shite', wouldn't you.

Unless you think you are somehow 'The Authority', your words are equal to theirs in value, and if they judge you to be submitting others to endless shite, they're just as right as you.

This isn't about people talking shite. That happens everywhere. It's about who you choose to listen to, and who you allow to get you wound up.