Tedious performative under eaters

[SlimPig]

The thread about the PIL's measly portions reminded me of this, and how iritating it is. I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that! Hadn't even opened it and looked at it yet.

Then, once opened, both of them, oh my god, I'll never eat all that (measly takeaway cardboard box portion, not a massive, in paper, large portion) ooh dear, we won't need dinner, or breakfast tomorrow now will we! Don't think I can eat my peas too, I'm so stuffed. I'm going to need to go for two runs tomorrow now! On and on, through the whole meal.

I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig, I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed.

Why? Why do people do this? Why can't they just eat their food normally? Why does everything have to be justified and offset? Just strikes me as so sad that they couldn't just eat their food without a whole performance (infront of all the men in the office, only 3 women there, me and them) of how birdlike they normally eat 😥

Well we can't win can we?
For every person like yourself who gets annoyed at people picking, eating slowly and feeling the need to say they don't habitually eat large portions of fatty food at lunch, you get people who are equally scathing about how much people (women) eat. Its highly likely that if you tuck into a full portion of fish and chips with gusto in the office, they'll be someone thinking, and commenting behind your back, that you're greedy/unhealthy.
(Men are actually awful for this. I caught a group the other week making pig noises at a female colleague who was enthusiastic about her lunch time McDonald's.)
So, irritating it might be, but not altogether surprising some women feel the need to be apologetic about what they eat.
Maybe if we left each other alone to eat as much or little, as fast or slow as we please, women could relax a bit more.

The eating not very much, or tiny amounts is fine - each to their own. It’s the ridiculous commentary that goes with it that is the problem. It’s attention seeking behaviour.

It’s the performative bit. YANBU.

Ive an older relative who’s like this who goes on and on, if she is round it’s A TINY BIT FOR ME. And saying she’s always struggled with her weight and tries so hard… that would be the bottle of red wine a day and being so sedantary you drive to the coop that’s 100 paces away hun. I’ve genuinely been served about a tablespoon of parsnip soup and no bread by her for lunch.
People have small or large appetites, that’s fine, it’s the showing off that you have so much self control.
I also used to work with someone who had half of everything, seeing her try and cut in half an M&S mini bite was particularly ridiculous

Every time mum and I go for lunch she asks me repeatedly if I'll be eating dinner that night. Every time I say yes. Then she carries on with "Oh I won't need to cook, I'm so stuffed. Will you really be able to eat dinner?"

Yes. Yes, I will.

Mum is slim. She also logs every single calorie she eats down to having 3 cherry tomatoes on her daily salad, and writing down what 1/4 of her bag of mixed leaves contain. I can't do that.

I'm not slim. But I love my food and have a pretty healthy relationship with it, but the drama when we eat together makes me feel like a massive fat pig. Then she says oh don't worry, the weight will drop off when you hit 60 (I'm early 40s) and you won't be fat anymore.

This. I couldn't give two hoots what anybody else eats or doesn't eat for their lunch but if they kept going on at me about it, I'd assume they were trying to get some sort of praise from me for their choices/attitude. Which wouldn't be happening.

I'd be livid if someone told my DD there's nothing more unattractive than a girl who eats too much (as per PP).

Why do you pay so much attention yo how and what people eat?

Heh. I remember my best friend telling me about a couple of the women in her office giving her a complex with their "Oh, I can only manage HALF this bagel, it's so FILLING." Competitive slimness was a thing with them.

I know exactly what you mean OP. The performance is highly annoying. Look, eat a quarter, eat it all and have seconds, whatever you want. But nobody needs the giant song and dance justifying your approach either way and the accompanying judging, express or implied, of those present who eat different amounts.

I bet her penis portions were ridiculous!

OP you made me want chips now and there isn't anywhere to get anywhere on the way to where I'm going. FML.

I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that

I used to share an office with a couple of women like that. My answer was always... 'never mind, pass me your chips and half that fish then'.

Actually, eating a normal portion isn't 'eating a lot'.

I would always tuck into a small slice of cake, take a chocolate or whatever was on offer if it was someone's birthday in the office when I was young and really slender - never naturally so, it was a lot of exercise and eating lightly/carefully to be that slim. And one woman would say "Oh! How can you eat chocolate and be so slim!" I just said something like "I just generally eat healthily and exercise!" One chocolate or a small piece of cake will not make you fat, bloody hell.

I don't care what people think of me or say behind my back. I care that I have to listen to a whole commentary on (a normal portion) being SOOO much. And, actually, the insinuation that I'm greedy for eating a normal portion.

Either eat it or don't, but be quiet about it

Interested to know what size they are! I’ve been quite large and really worried about what people thought of me when making eating choices in public. I’m now slim and could not care less who sees me shovelling chips in my mouth (also a mum of toddlers and a lot older so that may contribute to the not caring)

I know a woman who performs having a dainty appetite. Go out to dinner and she’ll order the appetiser as her main and be absolutely stuffed, couldn’t possibly have dessert. It’s part of her performance of femininity. She also faints.
I’ve stopped going out to eat with her, it’s too annoying.

A friend of our family always says "I only want something small!" when we go out to eat. Fair enough, she is petite. But then we always laugh with her about how she wolfs what she has ordered (maybe not that small either) and then half of what's on her partner's plate as well, then can perhaps manage a dessert also.

They just sound like shallow and vacuous people with nothing else to talk about. Nothing to do with food specifically, they'd be that way about anything as what else would they talk about?

Because it was in my earhole the entire time I was trying to enjoy my food?

Every time mum and I go for lunch she asks me repeatedly if I'll be eating dinner that night. Every time I say yes. Then she carries on with "Oh I won't need to cook, I'm so stuffed. Will you really be able to eat dinner?"

My mum also does this whenever she eats anything other than a sandwich for lunch. What's doubly annoying is that she then does have dinner at home, so it's not even true. It's the performativity that's annoying- as if you're not allowed to eat a (frankly, perfectly normal) amount of food without a particular form of words about not eating later. And also the fact that she considers a sandwich to be the right thing for lunch and starts her nonsense even if you give her a salad, which is much healthier than the sandwich and probably has fewer calories (realise I am getting a bit too specific here).

I remember being in one of those outdoor food markets with an ex’s family. They had chosen sandwiches while I went and got a burger and chips and his dad gave me a lecture on how that kind of food would make me fat! Not one of them was under a size 18 and I was a size 10. The cheek!

🏆

Oh I'm so with you OP. My best friend has become a bit like this and it's so tedious.

A group of us went away this summer and one of the reasons we picked this particular hotel was because the half board was so good.

Now granted it's a different matter eating 4 courses after a day's light walking rather than skiing, but oh my goodness the moaning and groaning over the amount of food, as well as bellyaching about the price - which was told a few times before we went and was not ridiculous.

It really spoiled my enjoyment and made me feel piggy. She's short with a petite frame and I'm 5ft 6 with broad shoulders- we're never going to eat the same.

It's not about what one eats or doesn't, it's the unnecessary talking about it and how you'll not need breakfast the next day.

I live in Denmark, we have just finished the season of a particular pastry (fastelavnsboller if you’re interested) and fucking Christ has there been a lot of incredible under eating competition from the expats (Danes just eat what they want and do it quietly)

“Oh I could never eat a whole one”
“Oh this will be my only one all season” “oh I’ll take this home and will have a little each day otherwise I won’t eat anything else”
“oh X over there had one yesterday AND one today, oh I could never”
”Oh Lego are you having one? But you just ate lunch!!”
“They are SO unhealthy, just a bite of one leaves me feeling SO bloated and needing a run!”
”I’ve just told DH I won’t have dinner because I’ve eaten an WHOLE one of these”

Shut up and eat the fucking pastry. Or don’t. No one cares

I was questioning what you think is a normal portion. It sounds like what’s normal for me might seem titchy to you, and what’s normal for you might be over-facing and anxiety-inducing for me. We’re all different.