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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How can she be left like this? Take her back to A&E?

703 replies

Fearsheisdying · 23/01/2023 17:51

Posting for traffic has honestly I'm terrified something is seriously wrong with my Mum and don't know what to do so please be nice.

Last week she started with some pain that she says feels like it's right at the very bottom of her ribs and radiating round the sides. She was in agony, basically screaming with pain so I took her to A&E on the advice of 111. All obs and ECG were normal but the blood tests were abnormal. They were going to do a CT scan but then decided as her obs were ok and they didn't think there was a bleed as no fall/injury, they were not going to do a CT scan there but would refer it to the GP to arrange BUT because of the blood test results and recent weightloss, they wanted it done urgently under the "2 week rule" and from his grave tone, I highly suspect he thinks it's cancer and serious. They couldn't/wouldn't give her anymore painkillers because of the painkillers she's on for severe arthritis but these are not touching the pain.

Fast forward to today, she has been in absolute agony since Thursday and seems worse today and can barely move. She's exhausted and crying/screaming in pain. My sister called 999 today but they said as not life threatening they won't send an ambulance but had to speak to GP within an hour. GP receptionist tried to say no appointments so we couldn't speak to GP but after I explained the issue (and she could hear my Mum crying out in pain) she finally agreed to pass a message to the GP so currently waiting to see if GP will call back today or not. Mum says if I take her back to A&E we'll be sat for hours again and nothing will be done but I can't just sit here and watch her in so much pain and do nothing.

What do I do?! Do I make her let me take her to A&E? Do we wait to see if the GP will call? Just feel so helpless

OP posts:
Fearsheisdying · 11/02/2023 14:50

@Forgooodnesssakenow to be honest, I would've thought they would've tried a stronger laxitive sooner when other oral laxitives, numerous enimas and the bowel prep didn't work, rather than 2 days ago. She isn't in the greatest of health but not an old 62 year old, I wouldn't say.

@Yb23487643it's a medical ward but I think one more for quite poorly people if that makes sense? Seems to be a mix between a general ward and a high dependency unit

OP posts:
Forgooodnesssakenow · 11/02/2023 15:04

Fearsheisdying · 11/02/2023 14:50

@Forgooodnesssakenow to be honest, I would've thought they would've tried a stronger laxitive sooner when other oral laxitives, numerous enimas and the bowel prep didn't work, rather than 2 days ago. She isn't in the greatest of health but not an old 62 year old, I wouldn't say.

@Yb23487643it's a medical ward but I think one more for quite poorly people if that makes sense? Seems to be a mix between a general ward and a high dependency unit

Have you spoken to the consultant and asked the next step? The expected timeline? What intervention if laxatives don't work? How long to make that decision?

ExistenceOptional · 11/02/2023 19:37

OP I went to daily ward rounds when my mum was in hospital. If anyone queries it just say you asked and was told it was fine. Then ask each day what is happening. Ward rounds are often from 7.30am to 9ish.

Fearsheisdying · 11/02/2023 22:27

Hopefully a positive update today - the colonoscopy is confirmed for Monday. Dsis had complained to the ward manager yesterday but hadn't managed to let me know as she was super busy with work. Whether the complaint is anything to do with it suddenly being confirmed but we'll take it regardless. Genuinely not sure if she should've had it yesterday but couldn't as she wasn't kept nil by mouth - no one is confirming or denying but I do think miscommunication plays a massive part. Please keep your fingers crossed for us and positive vibes!

OP posts:
Icecreamandapplepie · 11/02/2023 22:31

So pleased. Hope you get an answer soon

moggiek · 11/02/2023 22:41

That’s good to hear. I hope you start to get some answers.

Icouldabeenalawyer · 11/02/2023 22:44

Lots of positive thoughts for you & dm, OP 💗

Yb23487643 · 12/02/2023 00:03

Medical ward should have more Drs around as not needing to rush off to theatre. Can be a surgical outlier on a medical ward to tho.
I hope you can ask for/get a good chat about what’s going on and the plan A, plan B etc.
I know your Mum isn’t old but sounded pretty poorly when she went in needing oxygen etc.
All the best to your Mum for the bowel prep and colonoscopy, I hope it brings non-cancerous results too and she’s on the mend soon.

Blort · 12/02/2023 16:25

Fingers crossed for Monday

LuluBlakey1 · 12/02/2023 19:55

🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻Hope it goes well for your mum.

rainbowstardrops · 13/02/2023 06:53

Hope all goes well today 🤞🏻

LookItsMeAgain · 13/02/2023 09:19

Thinking of you and your mum today. Hope you get an answer at the end of the day and if not, start getting stroppy. I know the NHS is crazy busy but this has been dragging on for long enough and you know what they say about the squeaky wheel? Be that squeaky wheel!

Wheresthebeach · 13/02/2023 09:37

Hope all goes well today.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 13/02/2023 13:12

I hope your DM's Colonoscopy goes ahead and you are a step closer to a treatment plan

Sugarfree23 · 13/02/2023 13:18

Thinking about you today, hope it goes well for your poor mum.

JuneOsborne · 13/02/2023 14:59

Just thought I'd check in to see if you had an update. Hooi g that no news is good news.

Fearsheisdying · 13/02/2023 19:44

They managed to complete the colonoscopy this time. No answers as yet but maybe tomorrow? Unfortunately I've been struck down by covid and quite poorly so can't go in the morning to find out so hoping Dsis can get the morning off to go instead

OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 13/02/2023 19:47

Fearsheisdying · 13/02/2023 19:44

They managed to complete the colonoscopy this time. No answers as yet but maybe tomorrow? Unfortunately I've been struck down by covid and quite poorly so can't go in the morning to find out so hoping Dsis can get the morning off to go instead

That’s fantastic news if they’ve been able to complete the colonoscopy. Fingers crossed you all get the answers soon enough as to what’s happening. Rest up with the covid I caught it after my colonoscopy coincidentally.

Fearsheisdying · 13/02/2023 19:51

CharlotteRose90 · 13/02/2023 19:47

That’s fantastic news if they’ve been able to complete the colonoscopy. Fingers crossed you all get the answers soon enough as to what’s happening. Rest up with the covid I caught it after my colonoscopy coincidentally.

Oh I forgot you were having that! I hope everything was ok with your results? I feel a bit better today but last night was awful!

OP posts:
Sugarfree23 · 13/02/2023 20:03

Hope you get answers soon.

PearlyShamps · 13/02/2023 20:17

Hope you have answers soon, and that you recover from COVID quickly. I've been following this thread closely and thinking of you all 🙏🏼❤

moggiek · 13/02/2023 20:24

Glad that it’s over with. Hopefully, some results tomorrow.

Wishing you a speedy recovery.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 13/02/2023 21:26

Glad it went ahead today, and fingers crossed for answers very soon
I'm sorry you now have Covid and hope you recover quickly

CrunchyCarrot · 14/02/2023 08:09

I've got my fingers crossed for you and your mum today, OP. This has been an appallingly long ordeal for both of you, you deserve some answers and respite. Flowers

SeaToSki · 14/02/2023 12:42

My top tips for getting through covid are 5 days of high dose zinc and vit d then taper down over the next 5 days. High dose vit c for all 10 days. If you get coughy then try a cough medicine with guafenisin in it.

it got my elderly parents through with just some tiredness and a bit of a cough.

Hope this can help you a bit and I hope your Mum has some answers today