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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How can she be left like this? Take her back to A&E?

703 replies

Fearsheisdying · 23/01/2023 17:51

Posting for traffic has honestly I'm terrified something is seriously wrong with my Mum and don't know what to do so please be nice.

Last week she started with some pain that she says feels like it's right at the very bottom of her ribs and radiating round the sides. She was in agony, basically screaming with pain so I took her to A&E on the advice of 111. All obs and ECG were normal but the blood tests were abnormal. They were going to do a CT scan but then decided as her obs were ok and they didn't think there was a bleed as no fall/injury, they were not going to do a CT scan there but would refer it to the GP to arrange BUT because of the blood test results and recent weightloss, they wanted it done urgently under the "2 week rule" and from his grave tone, I highly suspect he thinks it's cancer and serious. They couldn't/wouldn't give her anymore painkillers because of the painkillers she's on for severe arthritis but these are not touching the pain.

Fast forward to today, she has been in absolute agony since Thursday and seems worse today and can barely move. She's exhausted and crying/screaming in pain. My sister called 999 today but they said as not life threatening they won't send an ambulance but had to speak to GP within an hour. GP receptionist tried to say no appointments so we couldn't speak to GP but after I explained the issue (and she could hear my Mum crying out in pain) she finally agreed to pass a message to the GP so currently waiting to see if GP will call back today or not. Mum says if I take her back to A&E we'll be sat for hours again and nothing will be done but I can't just sit here and watch her in so much pain and do nothing.

What do I do?! Do I make her let me take her to A&E? Do we wait to see if the GP will call? Just feel so helpless

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 23/01/2023 17:53

I would take her in again , yes. Your poor Mum. Could it be a gallstones attack?

Mama2six · 23/01/2023 17:55

I would definitely take her in again and not leave until they do the scan. Hope your mum is out of pain soon

Blort · 23/01/2023 17:56

Sounds horrific, she needs pain relief if nothing else.

How can she travel to hospital writhing and screaming? I would call 999 back.

Surfsenior · 23/01/2023 17:56

My mum had this probLem with diverticulitis, nothing was apparently wrong so her pain was not taken seriously.
I don’t have any advice, just hope your mum gets the help she needs

Firstbornunicorn · 23/01/2023 17:59

I would definitely take her back if you can get her to agree to it.

TinyTinyHamsterBalls · 23/01/2023 18:03

I mean my Mum had an aneurysm a few weeks ago and they couldn't send an ambulance she had to make her own way into hospital and she was in a life threatening condition. Unfortunately you will have to make your own way into hospital and yes probably have to wait a long time in A&E, that's the reality of the NHS atm. The doctor will probably refer her for scans so won't be likely able to do anything.

Sunshinesusan33 · 23/01/2023 18:06

Get her to a&e. She may have a wait but if you insist they will do the scan and you will know what you're dealing with. That's got to be better than waiting around for days on end for non existent GP appointments.

CharlotteRose90 · 23/01/2023 18:15

Take her back to a&e and don’t move till she’s sorted. Could it be gallstones? That’s similar to the pain I had and I was on constant morphine for it. She needs that scan and fast, Atleast if it’s something worse they could give an indication.

HallwayDoor · 23/01/2023 18:18

Her GP can’t do an urgent scan and if they call back the only advise they can safely and legitimately give you is to take her to A&E. GP can’t do bloods to look for sepsis same day or send for X-rays or scans as urgent.

Ambulance strike so drive her and expect a big wait. Take a pillow or blanket in the car if needed to take in and money and a phone charger etc.

OutDamnedSpot · 23/01/2023 18:20

Get her to A&E. Take a cushion/blankets/whatever she’ll need to be vaguely comfortable.

Teaandtoast3 · 23/01/2023 18:22

A&E I don’t think the GP can do much

Scottishskifun · 23/01/2023 18:22

Take her to A&E at least get her a xray of not a scan

Original poster
Fearsheisdying · 23/01/2023 18:24

@SirVixofVixHall I don't think so. I've never had a gallstone but based on a friend who has, I don't believe it's the same place. Mum's pain is more on her sides (both sides) at the bottom of her ribs radiating round to the back? Whereas my friends was more under her breastbone.

@Blort we're in a paramedic strike area, so I suspect that might be why. She lives very near the hospital so actually probably quicker for me to take her. My sis doesn't drive and I was picking my children up from school but sis panicked I think.

@TinyTinyHamsterBalls sorry to hear about your Mum, is she ok? I'm not complaining they didn't send an ambulance, we're in a strike area so understand why they couldn't/wouldn't and am also painfully aware of a&e wait times but last week told us yes to CT and then 90 mins later said no. Plus Mum lives 10/15 mins from the hospital so quicker for me to take her anyway but I wasn't here when my sis called and she doesn't drive so I think she panicked with how much pain Mum was in. My issue is no one helping her with the pain. Why can't they give her something stronger and tell her not to take her normal ones if they ne

She's currently trying to fall asleep as she has not slept properly since Thursday night but she keeps grunting with pain and jumping when she does drop off for 5 minutes

OP posts:
JudgeRudy · 23/01/2023 18:25

Blort · 23/01/2023 17:56

Sounds horrific, she needs pain relief if nothing else.

How can she travel to hospital writhing and screaming? I would call 999 back.

In a taxi or car, obviously with someone else driving. Harsh as that sounds, ambulances are for emergencies where she needs immediate treatment (at hope) or there's no other reasonable way of getting her in to A&E.
Pack a bag, some snacks and a book and take her in again

Princesspollyyy · 23/01/2023 18:28

Insist on taking her back to A&E, she can't be left like that.

Insist on the CT scan. If they try and find you off with the Gap, tell them that you tried that and you can't get the GP to see her.

You have to assert yourself, advocate for your mum and be insistent. Don't let them tell you anything different.

GenderCriticalTrumpets · 23/01/2023 18:28

I would definitely go back to A&E. Your poor Mum and poor you.

Fancypants2022 · 23/01/2023 18:30

I am so sorry to read this - I would go back if this was my parent

Theunamedcat · 23/01/2023 18:33

The government are floating an idea to charge everyone (a very specific) £66 for a trip to A&E £20 for a doctors visit

I hope you get help soon

hattie43 · 23/01/2023 18:33

This makes me so angry . How have we ever come to a situation where a lady in chronic pain cannot be seen by anyone . It's a complete dereliction of care from the authorities.
I wish your poor mum a speedy recovery and some pain relief .
Something needs to be done . This situation is just not acceptable

deliciouschilli · 23/01/2023 18:34

Sounds just like my gallstone attacks. Try some Buscopan.

hattie43 · 23/01/2023 18:34

Theunamedcat · 23/01/2023 18:33

The government are floating an idea to charge everyone (a very specific) £66 for a trip to A&E £20 for a doctors visit

I hope you get help soon

Well we can't carry on as we are . Maybe thinking outside the box will help . They won't expect poor people to pay but those who can will if it gets them seen

SauMore · 23/01/2023 18:37

hattie43 · 23/01/2023 18:33

This makes me so angry . How have we ever come to a situation where a lady in chronic pain cannot be seen by anyone . It's a complete dereliction of care from the authorities.
I wish your poor mum a speedy recovery and some pain relief .
Something needs to be done . This situation is just not acceptable

Totally agree with this. We are a 1st world country, G7 economy and so many people suffering terribly like this poor woman and can't access healthcare.
WTF!! How did we get here?

Remona · 23/01/2023 18:38

My immediate thought was that it may be gallstones. My pain was on the right side of my abdomen and into and up my back. It was a pain I genuinely hope I never experience again. Absolute agony.

Your poor mum can’t carry on like that. Absolutely take her back to A&E.

Choconut · 23/01/2023 18:38

Surfsenior · 23/01/2023 17:56

My mum had this probLem with diverticulitis, nothing was apparently wrong so her pain was not taken seriously.
I don’t have any advice, just hope your mum gets the help she needs

My elderly aunt unknowingly had this and was in agony, she was sent home and not taken seriously and then died from it.

Nursemumma92 · 23/01/2023 18:41

Sounds absolutely awful for you and your poor mum. You could try ringing 111 or fill out the 111 online form to see if she can get an urgent out of hours GP appointment if she'd prefer not to have the long wait in A+E but it does sound like she needs a scan. Hope you can get her sorted with some care soon xx