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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask what your next move would be if you were Putin?

313 replies

Chowbellow · 03/09/2022 13:01

So. You're Putin. You rule a massive amount of people. You're ex KGB. You want to take over the world perhaps (or maybe just want to play!).
What is your next move now that the West is in crisis as you won't supply them with oil/gas?
Your people are dying but you've loads of people. You've invaded a non NATO country so you know they won't touch you.

OP posts:
TheLoupGarou · 03/09/2022 14:00

If I was Putin, that should read.

83DanishMum · 03/09/2022 14:05

Make sure Trump gets in next time

Chowbellow · 03/09/2022 14:05

Ok, so assuming that he is pissed off about Russian involvment in WW2 and the lack of gratitude, the lack of respect, what the fuck can we do to appease him? What would make it ok?

We're the West and we love money. He loves money.

Wtf can we do?

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Chowbellow · 03/09/2022 14:08

I'm a middle child and I gave up an awful lot to support my older sibling and my younger sibling. I 'get' how he might be pissed off. Everyone else gets the glory and Russia (like me) is just a side story. I can really understand how that might be how he thinks.

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Chowbellow · 03/09/2022 14:11

I don't know whether he is married or has children? Does anyone know?

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Penny242 · 03/09/2022 14:22

Chowbellow · 03/09/2022 14:11

I don't know whether he is married or has children? Does anyone know?

Putin was married, now divorced since 2014. Reports say he has two children from this marriage - Maria and Katarina. There are other persistent rumours he’s involved with an ex gymnast and they may have children together. It might be a Kremlin pr stunt to make him look young and virile.

thefoggiest · 03/09/2022 14:22

If I were Putin I would be interested in testing the extent to which the west is prepared to act so would probably stir up some trouble on an EU border, on the border with Estonia say. Maybe just a few "accidents".

My end goal would be to spite the west so I would probably be looking to get as close as possible to China and maybe start my own "union" excluding the west and working with china to control the wests economy. As the "brain" of the EU I would be looking to damage Germany financially.

RedToothBrush · 03/09/2022 15:04

I know the war is going badly. I know I don't have the resources but I know that the west are exposed too.

I don't give a shit about little people, but they can be used to serve my purposes. There's more than one way to gain power.

If the west use cooperation, Russia can use desparation. If Russia cannot win the war outright I know that the west doesn't do well in a war of attrition either. That's the lesson learn in Vietnam and Afghanistan. The Western public lose sympathy and patience. As they lose interest it becomes harder to maintain.

I'd be looking for that fracture between America, Germany and France and those who are in Eastern Europe and I'd just wait it out no matter what the cost. Because I can. And because I have nothing further to lose personally. Then I'd do everything to create a them and us between Russia and the West knowing that most people couldnt do anything else.

Worse case is i can do my best to take the west down with me. Just because I can and out of deep seated spite.

Instantnoodles · 03/09/2022 15:17

Russia has been humiliated and patronised for decades. I created an opportunity over years and will restore the country to its rightful status. I am not a psychopath but am old and ill so have little to lose if it goes badly.

IncessantNameChanger · 03/09/2022 15:28

We if he wants to start a war I'd nuke the UK as we are a nice cut off little packet that could contain the fallout.

You did ask. Was talking to a friend about it last month.

Will I loose sleep over that? Nope. I'd be dead before I knew anything so meh.

I do think he is pycho. But one person's terrorist is another's hero and all that. I think having a personality disorder is key to getting into power tbh.

In his head he is 10000% right so there will be no back down either. He is saving Russia from the creeping immoral West and their corporate elitismthat makes the 1% the richest. Now where's that red button again?

Tierne · 03/09/2022 15:34

@IncessantNameChanger
"We if he wants to start a war I'd nuke the UK as we are a nice cut off little packet that could contain the fallout."

I dont think the UK is very interesting to Putin, and neither is the US really.

The history of europe has always been about colonising, invading, land grabs. If you look at it through Putin's eyes, EU expansion looks very similar to any other conquering process: the map gets bigger as countries are annexed. And in particular as that reach "over extends" into regions that would once have been Russia's. This time the weapons arent tanks or bombs, but "agreements" and "memberships".

MissPoldark · 03/09/2022 15:46

don't know whether he is married or has children? Does anyone know?

you created this mad thread about getting inside Putin’s head so that you could share your idea that London might be target, and yet you don’t even know whether he is married or has children? 🫤

Penny242 · 03/09/2022 15:46

I’m Putin and I’m sat back watching how the EU, Britain and the US respond to Ukraine and the energy crisis. I’m aware China and my allies are watching with interest. Democracy, in my opinion, has been a massive failure, it’s too chaotic having lots of different opinions. You need one powerful leader backed up by state apparatus and authority. People respect me because I don’t tolerate dissent. We all need to be pointing in the same direction. Anyone who crosses Russia will be found and dealt with appropriately.

The internet has been a powerful tool to interfere with western democracy. Trump’s inauguration was a victory for us. That awful Obama sanctioned us so it was very important we supported a US leader who we could work with. His propensity towards egoism, clumsiness and right wing appeal was useful. We enjoyed watching the chaos in January 2021. Speaking of which, Boris Johnson and Brexit helped to sever the uk and EU links. It pleases me to think that the little annexe of the US is enjoying their independence and sovereignty. And don’t forget my shillshops have been working hard to create/add to conspiracy theories and whip up mistrust against western governments for many years. It’s worked well.

Economically we’ve been very busy over the years. London, for example, has been a terrific money laundering opportunity for our rubles. It’s very kind of them to allow us to buy property, football clubs, access to politicians. We do like to vary our economic interests and gain a foothold in different countries. Our shiny gas pipeline has worked wonders for us and I have to say that some of the EU were a bit naive in becoming so dependent but it was entirely their choice.

Covid turned out to be a blessing in disguise. EU and US economies were weakened and rising inflation meant we could add to the economic difficulty. Some may have wondered why Gazprom didn’t fulfil its obligations to EU gas storage in autumn 2021. This failure was part of a much bigger plan as you all found out in 2022.

My main ambition for my beloved Russia is to ensure we have full access to the Mediterranean coastline. A return to the old borders of the USSR would be ideal if a little ambitious. Occasionally I dream of being the world’s supreme leader but I keep myself in check. In the meantime it’s fortunate the EU is paying for my invasion so I will just run the clock to see how far we can go. I’ve made it clear that if you all interfere too much in Ukraine, I’ll wave the nuclear deterrent at you. I’m up for playing cat and mouse with the west but I won’t tolerate you interfering with my Ukraine.

girlmom21 · 03/09/2022 16:12

My fear is that he's a psychopath with a supposed terminal illness. Nuclear warfare isn't beyond the realms of possibility.

Chowbellow · 03/09/2022 16:13

Penny242 · 03/09/2022 15:46

I’m Putin and I’m sat back watching how the EU, Britain and the US respond to Ukraine and the energy crisis. I’m aware China and my allies are watching with interest. Democracy, in my opinion, has been a massive failure, it’s too chaotic having lots of different opinions. You need one powerful leader backed up by state apparatus and authority. People respect me because I don’t tolerate dissent. We all need to be pointing in the same direction. Anyone who crosses Russia will be found and dealt with appropriately.

The internet has been a powerful tool to interfere with western democracy. Trump’s inauguration was a victory for us. That awful Obama sanctioned us so it was very important we supported a US leader who we could work with. His propensity towards egoism, clumsiness and right wing appeal was useful. We enjoyed watching the chaos in January 2021. Speaking of which, Boris Johnson and Brexit helped to sever the uk and EU links. It pleases me to think that the little annexe of the US is enjoying their independence and sovereignty. And don’t forget my shillshops have been working hard to create/add to conspiracy theories and whip up mistrust against western governments for many years. It’s worked well.

Economically we’ve been very busy over the years. London, for example, has been a terrific money laundering opportunity for our rubles. It’s very kind of them to allow us to buy property, football clubs, access to politicians. We do like to vary our economic interests and gain a foothold in different countries. Our shiny gas pipeline has worked wonders for us and I have to say that some of the EU were a bit naive in becoming so dependent but it was entirely their choice.

Covid turned out to be a blessing in disguise. EU and US economies were weakened and rising inflation meant we could add to the economic difficulty. Some may have wondered why Gazprom didn’t fulfil its obligations to EU gas storage in autumn 2021. This failure was part of a much bigger plan as you all found out in 2022.

My main ambition for my beloved Russia is to ensure we have full access to the Mediterranean coastline. A return to the old borders of the USSR would be ideal if a little ambitious. Occasionally I dream of being the world’s supreme leader but I keep myself in check. In the meantime it’s fortunate the EU is paying for my invasion so I will just run the clock to see how far we can go. I’ve made it clear that if you all interfere too much in Ukraine, I’ll wave the nuclear deterrent at you. I’m up for playing cat and mouse with the west but I won’t tolerate you interfering with my Ukraine.

Wow. I think that's how he thinks. I genuinely do. I think we're mere minions in the West. In his mind we haven't a brain between us (arguably, he's correct lol).

I think he's playing chess in his head while Western world leaders are playing politics.

I'm not sure what his next move is but his interest in Irish coastal waters suggests that London is a target.

OP posts:
Chowbellow · 03/09/2022 16:17

thefoggiest · 03/09/2022 14:22

If I were Putin I would be interested in testing the extent to which the west is prepared to act so would probably stir up some trouble on an EU border, on the border with Estonia say. Maybe just a few "accidents".

My end goal would be to spite the west so I would probably be looking to get as close as possible to China and maybe start my own "union" excluding the west and working with china to control the wests economy. As the "brain" of the EU I would be looking to damage Germany financially.

He did that in February in Irish waters and nobody reacted.

OP posts:
Tierne · 03/09/2022 16:17

@Chowbellow
"I'm not sure what his next move is but his interest in Irish coastal waters suggests that London is a target."

That was in January though? I dont see why London would be a target for him

Chowbellow · 03/09/2022 16:18

Tierne · 03/09/2022 16:17

@Chowbellow
"I'm not sure what his next move is but his interest in Irish coastal waters suggests that London is a target."

That was in January though? I dont see why London would be a target for him

He's there this week too.

OP posts:
Chowbellow · 03/09/2022 16:19

Tierne · 03/09/2022 16:17

@Chowbellow
"I'm not sure what his next move is but his interest in Irish coastal waters suggests that London is a target."

That was in January though? I dont see why London would be a target for him

www.thenationalnews.com/world/europe/2022/08/31/russian-warships-seen-acting-unusually-off-irish-coast/

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Chowbellow · 03/09/2022 16:19

Our media doesn't tend to report on things related to war.

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Chowbellow · 03/09/2022 16:20

Tierne · 03/09/2022 16:17

@Chowbellow
"I'm not sure what his next move is but his interest in Irish coastal waters suggests that London is a target."

That was in January though? I dont see why London would be a target for him

London is the money bank of all the oligarchs.
The UK isn't. London is.

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Chowbellow · 03/09/2022 16:22

BBC suggests that Russian fleets off the Irish coast are a threat to whales. 😂

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-60130151

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oakleaffy · 03/09/2022 16:23

If I was Putin, I’d starve the West of Gas, just as he is doing.
Russian heating and lighting is supposedly very affordable, so Russians will be OK.
We can also grow all our own food, so won’t be reliant on imports.
We can probably make ersatz Mcdonalds and Coca cola.

I’d drive up market price of gas so Europe is on it’s knees.
If that doesn’t work
I’d Nuke us all.

Bollocko.

IncessantNameChanger · 03/09/2022 16:25

Yes but if down to willy waving then why not us?

No one has used it so far in other conflicts so it's no on my worry radar.

Chowbellow · 03/09/2022 16:29

He has no need to be in Irish waters unless to fire at London frankly.

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