I know DH is BU but HE DOESN'T so he needs to be told.

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

Disclaimer: lighthearted. Also the most trivial AIBU in the history of MN.

DH has this complex about entirely commonplace things being 'weird' or 'embarrassing'. Currently we're on holiday so eating out a lot, and this particular issue keeps on coming up.

My view: it is fine to just order a couple of sides from the menu (either eat in or takeaway) if DS doesn't fancy any of the main dishes. Specifically, a side of bacon and a side of toast.

DH's view: no, this is too weird and embarrassing for words. We must order a bacon sandwich, even though that is not a menu option.

Today he insisted on ordering it himself, to avoid the weirdness and humiliation of me requesting a side of bacon and a side of toast. His exact words were: 'Could we have a bacon sandwich please? So just some bacon and some toast with butter.'

It came billed as (wait for it) a side of bacon and a side of toast.

Yes, I know it's trivial. No, this is not the only thing we have to worry about in life. But he needs to be told.

He's being weird.

Why is it weird to order sides off the menu? Surely it's more weird to order stuff that isn't on the actual menu?

I feel your pain. My DH thinks anything not done the exact way it was done when he was a child is wrong

I’m an arse so I’d have waited until he’d done the order and then ordered myself one each of all the sides instead of a proper meal just to piss him off

I need a side of bacon and toast now! thanks op!

Bless him!
Did he have very strict parents OP?

Isn’t it weirder to order stuff that isn’t on the menu. Mind you even that’s very low level weird.

Let him get on with it.

The way he orders is weird, ordering sides actually on the menu is normal.

You can always ask if they'll do something not on the menu, like a cafe with toastie and sandwiches but no plain toast on the menu... you can just ask. But if they have the things you want on the sides menu then just order them.

He basically ordered the sides but put together. He can put them together himself!

Does he lack confidence in other areas, too? Does he think people judge him a lot? Does he often judge others ? Sigh

I dunno I do actually find that a bit weird that you'd want to ask for a side of bacon and a side of toast. I actually get where he's coming from. Maybe I'm weird 🤣

Who is he trying to be? Mr average, Mr normal.
Sounds like a lack of confidence.
Most adults can just ask for what they want trusting that if it's possible they'll get that, and if the answer is no they'll be fine.

Tell him that it is much weirder and more embarrassing to order a bacon sandwich when that isn't on the menu.

He's being a bit weird. It would probably be easier for the person taking the order if he just ordered the two items as they are from the menu.

I find it a bit weird too, sorry. But then I'd expect my kids to order a standard menu meal out of all the options that must be available. And definitely not to eat the same thing daily

As someone who worked in hospitality you can tell him from me that it's intensely irritating when people randomly make up new dishes that aren't on the menu. OK, in this case it's not something complicated, but you'd probably not be surprised by the weird and wonderful mash ups I've had people try to create, often including something we didn't sell...

Ordering actual dishes on the menu - normal, that's why they're there.

Ordering a x meal without y side dish, also fine.

Ordering x without y, but with a and b, and also part of another dish - twattery of the highest order.

Your DH is edging into gateway twattery imo. The staff are probably poised for him to start asking for a warm ice-cream, or a slow cooked something with half the ingredients picked out.

Tell him they'll have noticed him. If he does it again they'll probably start calling him 'bacon sarnie man'.

Also, sounds like they have an electronic ordering system? They'll be having to manually type in 'make into a bacon sandwich', probably on a screen that refuses to register every third letter.

Could be worse Jesus, he could be bringing his own cereal and asking for a bowl

If its on the menu, then it's okay to order.

He's weird. I've lost count of the number of bacon and toast meals I've had to order for one of my grandchildren. It caused no shame or unnecessary embarrassment.

Lucky for you that you haven't had to deal with a child with sensory issues.

I absolutely hate people messing about with the menu asking for a bit of this or a bit of that. Just order a proper dish off the menu. I eat out with a friend and every time she has to make a fuss about this with that etc. Just order!!! No talking!!

LTB

His head would explode if he ate out with me. I often order a starter and side as a main and ask for things to be left off and its never a problem. He is uber weird for being so uptight. I know you say this is lighthearted, but.... how cab you stand him?

Of course YANBU. I absolutely love one of the starters at a local restaurant. Quite often I will order the starter plus a side salad or chips instead of a main. No waiter has ever made it seem like an odd request.

How do you order without talking? Point? That's much weirder imo.

bacon and buttered toast isn’t a bacon sandwich though… it’s bacon and toast.

Perfectly normal to order a couple of sides/extras instead of a main meal.

Not normal to order things that aren’t on the menu.