I know DH is BU but HE DOESN'T so he needs to be told.

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

Disclaimer: lighthearted. Also the most trivial AIBU in the history of MN.

DH has this complex about entirely commonplace things being 'weird' or 'embarrassing'. Currently we're on holiday so eating out a lot, and this particular issue keeps on coming up.

My view: it is fine to just order a couple of sides from the menu (either eat in or takeaway) if DS doesn't fancy any of the main dishes. Specifically, a side of bacon and a side of toast.

DH's view: no, this is too weird and embarrassing for words. We must order a bacon sandwich, even though that is not a menu option.

Today he insisted on ordering it himself, to avoid the weirdness and humiliation of me requesting a side of bacon and a side of toast. His exact words were: 'Could we have a bacon sandwich please? So just some bacon and some toast with butter.'

It came billed as (wait for it) a side of bacon and a side of toast.

Yes, I know it's trivial. No, this is not the only thing we have to worry about in life. But he needs to be told.

My DW used to cringe at perfectly normal things like going into shop B having bought something in shop A And carrying it in Shop A’s branded bag.

Life is too, too short for this nonsense.

I think I may be about to make several of you spontaneously combust as I will admit to making my bacon sandwich with toast!
I pray that you will forgive me when I tell you that I have gluten free bread and that it is only made palatable by toasting!

One of my favourite breakfast or brunch choices.

I thought that in the states, everyone faffs around with menu items. They can't even order a coffee without specifying every ingredient!

But yep, to me it's FAR less embarrassing to order two sides, than to ask people to make something that's not in the menu. And much easier on the wait staff too. They don't have to worry about whether they can do off menu stuff or not. They can just type the sides into their iPad or whatever they do.

We took the in-laws to a rather posh gastropub for Mother’s Day brunch this year. Lots of breakfast combinations with lots of items, but my father-in-law just wanted a couple of fried eggs on toast. The waitress said he couldn’t order that because, being Mother’s Day, the kitchen was too busy to do anything ‘off-menu’. So I ordered him the side orders of toast and fried eggs, and the waitress didn’t bat an eye, just took down the order while the rest of us silently judged her idiocy…

A pp on the first page nailed it - he did have a very strict mum who struggled massively with anything not done her way. Among other things, she couldn't get her head round me having sugar in coffee, me using a soup spoon to eat cereal, me spreading butter the wrong way, me having mayo in a turkey sandwich... visits used to be bloody exhausting.

He does accept that it's an issue he has, and we've noticed that it gets much worse in times of stress. Doesn't make it any less frustrating when it does happen, but he did eventually admit that he was BU

Not the point, but how does one spread butter incorrectly?

That kind of rigid thinking can be exhausting to be around. At least he came round in the end

@Cherchezlaspice many people on here would probably support her on that particular one. I had a relatively feral childhood, so it never occurred to me that there was a 'proper' way to scoop butter out of the dish. So I just took a divot out with my knife, which appalled her, because her way entailed shaving off a perfect micro-layer each time so that the surface remains perfectly even and level.

I'm glad he saw he was BU.

Dd is a particular eater, and never wants the main meals.
so we order a selection of sides, plus things like "a fried egg" (if comes on one menu dish but not as a side), "selection of veggie sticks".(available as an option with kids' meal but not on its own), etc.
So she can construct her meal with options that we know she'll eat.

I cant stand divot makers getting their hands on the butter. Drives me mad. I do tell people off for that.
But everything else on your list had nothing to do with her.

We went to the states for a family holiday when I was 11, parents ordered us 4 kids "burgers and chips" waitress made a funny face but wrote it down anyway. Came back with 4 burgers each with a side of crisps 😄lingo was clearly lost on both sides, but the kitchen obliged to the request!

Okay, I think I’m on her side with that one. 😂

@Ibizamumof4 think you’re on the wrong thread. Best to start a new one. Best of luck.

This food type incident happened in our family on holiday recently! YADNBU!!!! I had a teeny bit of a feral childhood too. It can be amazingly freeing. I do behave appropriately when the time calls for it and understand the need when it arises, but oh boy there’s a rebellious part of me that wants to age disgracefully and not get so bogged down by external expectations and need for conformity.

I had a boyfriend who refused to eat any 'foreign' food. He was fine when dining out but at home it couldn't be anything from overseas! Also he was horrified at the thought of complaining about anything. In a restaurant once I was given a glass of G&T containing a shard of broken glass along with the ice. He nearly walked out when I complained! Weird.

This is interesting! What did he count as ‘foreign’? Would he eat pasta? Burgers? Omelettes? Where was the cutoff?

Also, when was this and how old was this person?

Lol, my dh hates doing anything that may not be deemed as normal. No idea why is he with me as I'm the complete opposite, anything to be a bit different or just practical, I just want a dessert, what?!

Sounds like social anxiety! Do you know much about his upbringing

I have this weirdness. Less so now I'm a bit older. I had barely been in a restaurant until I was an adult, the thought of "breaking the rules" would make me break out in a sweat with anxiety. I'm still not great but I know that's ok now.
Its about lack of self esteem, wanting approval, basically being extremely concerned the staff will think you are a dick.
I think the poorer you grew up, the more likely it could be? Lack of familiarity?
Who knows? But I relate.

I don’t have a massive appetite & I also have some food intolerances so I often just order a few safe bits from the lite bites section of a menu & get them brought to the table with everyone’s bigger meals.
Your DH is being an plonker & creating an issue from something that isn’t an issue😂

Being weird, must be a man thing.
My Oh, doesn't like to order 2 of the same thing. So if I fancy a BBQ pizza and he wanted a BBQ pizza, he will change his order, rather than asking for 2.
I have said, no one cares, if we order the same thing. But no he cannot do it, I don't know why.🤔

What else is he overly sensitive about people finding weird?

If its on the menu, you can order it in any combination you like. If its not on the menu and you try to order it, you are a pain in the arse.

I’ve had no choice but to order just sides in the past if there’s been no vegetarian option on the menu.

I’d find someone that screamingly insecure hard work.