I know DH is BU but HE DOESN'T so he needs to be told.

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

Disclaimer: lighthearted. Also the most trivial AIBU in the history of MN.

DH has this complex about entirely commonplace things being 'weird' or 'embarrassing'. Currently we're on holiday so eating out a lot, and this particular issue keeps on coming up.

My view: it is fine to just order a couple of sides from the menu (either eat in or takeaway) if DS doesn't fancy any of the main dishes. Specifically, a side of bacon and a side of toast.

DH's view: no, this is too weird and embarrassing for words. We must order a bacon sandwich, even though that is not a menu option.

Today he insisted on ordering it himself, to avoid the weirdness and humiliation of me requesting a side of bacon and a side of toast. His exact words were: 'Could we have a bacon sandwich please? So just some bacon and some toast with butter.'

It came billed as (wait for it) a side of bacon and a side of toast.

Yes, I know it's trivial. No, this is not the only thing we have to worry about in life. But he needs to be told.

Shouldn’t that be BLT?

Your husband is a weirdo.

I loathe pizza my family love it so when we go to pizza express I order two starters and have them served was my main, been doing if for 35 years

It’s fine to just order sides but if you’re literally ordering two sides to turn into a sandwich I’d probably just ask for them to make the sandwich tbh

What kind of restaurant has a side if bacon and a side of toast but no bacon sandwich on the menu? The restaurant is the weirdo here.

What does he think will happen if he orders the sides from the menu, instead of making up a completely new off-menu dish?

Ah, we're in California and the bacon sarnie doesn't appear to be a thing out here. In general, 'sandwich' means a foot-high stack of ingredients between two slices of bread, served with fries, two sides, a whole pickle, soup or a salad, maple syrup and a couple of eggs (only slightly exaggerating).

He has explained it to me... I think it boils down to a fear that they will disapprove. It's definitely got something to do with the fact that these things are listed as sides. So in his mind, we can only order the sides if we've ordered a main meal that is appropriate to the sides? Something like that.

I've ordered a starter and side (and asked for them to be served at the same time as my companion's main) before because there were no mains on the menu that I fancied. Not weird at all.

I disagree with him (obviously!!), but I understand him thinking each person should order a main and ADD sides, but not just order sides without a main.

In the USA though, I'm never embarrassed about ordering whatever, they really don't care & are VERY accommodating!

and for a child I'd be even less bothered about just ordering bits they want if they're in the menu & not ordering a main.

Tell him the staff don't give a FF, how many sides you order, but they don't want to be making up meals not on their menu & especially when they're 'British' not 'American' things.

Christ the twunt will be ordering a bacon bap next!!

I can reassure you on that point. DS is pretty adventurous and has tried a range of new foods during the holiday. He just struggles with the huge breakfast dishes. For example, today I had avocado toast - it came with two eggs, grilled tomatoes and a choice of different potato sides. And that was one of the more modest options...

I had an ex that refused to take packed lunches on days out.. so I used to make me and the kids one anyway and laugh when he moaned about the price and the queue, then wanted to leave theme parks etc after a couple of hours.

Wait, so you order 2x main meals for the adults and D's just fancies bacon and toast, both of which are listed as sides.

So you order bacon and toast as sides. He hates this, so next time, he orders and he orders something that isn't even on the menu? And somehow that's less weird than ordering the sides? Shit in my coat pocket and call me Derek. He's done some weird mental gymnastics there, ain't he?

This. My DH is so stuck in the past, wants to visit the same places, eat at the same restaurants, have the exact foods his mum cooked etc. It's a tad exhausting at times.

Surely the sides are on the menu because they want people to order them!

He’s weird

weirder and Weirder. Therapy. Immediately.

My DD is vegetarian and will quite often order two starters or a starter and a side for dinner if she doesn’t like the look of the main veggie options. Waiting staff really don’t care what you order as long as you order something. It doesn’t even have to be on the menu if they can make it reasonably easily.

Perfectly normal to combine two sides as a main, or have a starter and side as a main if you prefer.

At a posh restaurant last year, DH and I had the same starter. He then chose a main and I chose another starter as my main as that was the thing I most fancied on the menu.

We were going for a three-course meal and it seemed to me to be perfectly sensible to enjoy each beautifully-cooked and presented course, and be comfortably full afterwards. DH didn’t think I was weird. Nor did the waitress.

YANBU. Is your husband 14? It's normally teenagers who find perfectly normal things horribly embarrassing. Restaurants and cafés don't generally put choices on the menu if they don't want you to order them!

In the US they would be thrilled to take an order with two sides and no main meal at all. Its the home of menu customization. Ordering off the menu is so high maintenance though, he does realize that it means that the server has to hand type in the order and then someone has to come up with an appropriate price…its much more work for them. I hope he realizes that he should tip 25% ish if he is going to be that picky

Some places have a menu where everything comes with chips, in which case I always ask for salad instead of chips, a simple substitution, never a problem. Its the customers that take a menu apart like pick and mix, that is unreasonable.

He's being weird abut this.

The restaurant will soon say if they are unhappy/unable to supply what you request. You can ask for anything in a restaurant, they can say 'sorry no'.

Having worked in restuarants there is often a whole heap of stuff you could have but which is not on the official menu and there is usuallly no issue with the kitchen cooking it.

They would rather sell you a side of bacon and a side of toast than sell you nothing.