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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know DH is BU but HE DOESN'T so he needs to be told.

134 replies

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 16/08/2022 18:09

Disclaimer: lighthearted. Also the most trivial AIBU in the history of MN.

DH has this complex about entirely commonplace things being 'weird' or 'embarrassing'. Currently we're on holiday so eating out a lot, and this particular issue keeps on coming up.

My view: it is fine to just order a couple of sides from the menu (either eat in or takeaway) if DS doesn't fancy any of the main dishes. Specifically, a side of bacon and a side of toast.

DH's view: no, this is too weird and embarrassing for words. We must order a bacon sandwich, even though that is not a menu option.

Today he insisted on ordering it himself, to avoid the weirdness and humiliation of me requesting a side of bacon and a side of toast. His exact words were: 'Could we have a bacon sandwich please? So just some bacon and some toast with butter.'

It came billed as (wait for it) a side of bacon and a side of toast.

Yes, I know it's trivial. No, this is not the only thing we have to worry about in life. But he needs to be told.

OP posts:
Fluffmum · 20/08/2022 15:43

Let your kid have sides your Husband sounds uptight over nothing.

Original poster
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 20/08/2022 17:26

Morgysmum · 19/08/2022 21:43

Being weird, must be a man thing.
My Oh, doesn't like to order 2 of the same thing. So if I fancy a BBQ pizza and he wanted a BBQ pizza, he will change his order, rather than asking for 2.
I have said, no one cares, if we order the same thing. But no he cannot do it, I don't know why.🤔

I'M like this!! It's because if we order the same thing, we might look like one of those couples who make a big performative thing about how we're soul mates who do everything together and finish each other's sentences etc. It's imperative that the waiter, the chef and the diners on adjoining tables know that I have my own identity. Grin

Clearly DH and I deserve each other.

OP posts:
Original poster
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 20/08/2022 17:29

Herejustforthisone · 20/08/2022 07:30

I’d find someone that screamingly insecure hard work.

Of the two of us, I'm almost certainly more hard work. It's just that he doesn't post about my foibles on MN. Grin

OP posts:
ClumpingBambooIsALie · 20/08/2022 18:51

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 18/08/2022 18:56

@Cherchezlaspice many people on here would probably support her on that particular one. I had a relatively feral childhood, so it never occurred to me that there was a 'proper' way to scoop butter out of the dish. So I just took a divot out with my knife, which appalled her, because her way entailed shaving off a perfect micro-layer each time so that the surface remains perfectly even and level.

DP is a divoter. I simply passive-aggressively shave off enough microlayers to fill the divot and spackle it in. Nice and smooth and flat again.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 21/08/2022 07:39

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 20/08/2022 18:51

DP is a divoter. I simply passive-aggressively shave off enough microlayers to fill the divot and spackle it in. Nice and smooth and flat again.

Show quote history

How would you feel about shaving from the ends?

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 21/08/2022 09:34

WalkingOnTheCracks · 21/08/2022 07:39

How would you feel about shaving from the ends?

Show quote history

Acceptable as long as perpendicularity is maintained.

sue20 · 21/08/2022 11:30

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 16/08/2022 18:51

As someone who worked in hospitality you can tell him from me that it's intensely irritating when people randomly make up new dishes that aren't on the menu. OK, in this case it's not something complicated, but you'd probably not be surprised by the weird and wonderful mash ups I've had people try to create, often including something we didn't sell...

Ordering actual dishes on the menu - normal, that's why they're there.

Ordering a x meal without y side dish, also fine.

Ordering x without y, but with a and b, and also part of another dish - twattery of the highest order.

Your DH is edging into gateway twattery imo. The staff are probably poised for him to start asking for a warm ice-cream, or a slow cooked something with half the ingredients picked out.

Tell him they'll have noticed him. If he does it again they'll probably start calling him 'bacon sarnie man'. Grin

Well obviously consideration to the restaurant is good manners but sad that the days have gone when the customer was always right. Fast food has created pre plated meals with rigid obedience expected of the customer. It used to be that the menu was for giving suggestions and specials which could be adapted according to customers request. Eg can I have the pasta without the prawns/ chicken/ etc. No that’s not possible. It strikes fear into those who have been brought up to be obedient!😂

sue20 · 21/08/2022 12:46

knittingaddict · 16/08/2022 19:15

He's weird. I've lost count of the number of bacon and toast meals I've had to order for one of my grandchildren. It caused no shame or unnecessary embarrassment.

Hey you’re the customer!

ErrolTheDragon · 22/08/2022 09:07

Well obviously consideration to the restaurant is good manners but sad that the days have gone when the customer was always right. Fast food has created pre plated meals with rigid obedience expected of the customer. It used to be that the menu was for giving suggestions and specials which could be adapted according to customers request. Eg can I have the pasta without the prawns/ chicken/ etc. No that’s not possible. It strikes fear into those who have been brought up to be obedient!

Don't be daft. You can always ask for something without an item, within reason - I mean it would be unreasonable to ask for a steak and mushroom pie with no mushrooms for instance.
Theres actually more flexibility now in decent restaurants than in the past, with many asking customers about dietary requirements and sometimes considerable efforts made to accommodate them.

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