To have said this to bloke at work?

[VirginiaCreek]

I get my hair coloured every 6-8 weeks, it’s always a similar colour but I tend to go slightly darker in summer when my skin is a little darker.

New bloke at work - he’s been there around 4 weeks. I turned up to work yesterday and he said “have you dyed your hair?”, I replied “yes, I do every few weeks”. He then said “oh, I liked it better before, the lighter colour suited you”. I replied “that’s ok, I didn’t dye it to impress you”. I smiled as I said it - I wasn’t trying to be arsey.

another colleague then said “that was a little harsh!” ?? Was it??

Great response.

No it wasn’t, it’s inappropriate to make personal comments in the workplace. It probably came across a little more sassy than you meant it to but I don’t think that’s a bad thing tbh.

I couldn't get worked up over his comment, but I do see how it would get the majority of Mumsnetters' backs up.

No it was perfect.

Perfect response

Not sure if it was harsh but it was a bit bitchy...

How is it bitchy?

I think it was great!!

Absolutely fine. The more people get the message the better. He was rude to be offering opinions on your hair.

Your response was spot on. The person calling you harsh seems to have overlooked the fact that you hadn't asked his opinion and yet he felt it necessary to give one anyway.

His comment was a bit inappropriate/rude and your response perfectly highlighted that, so I think it was pretty good.

Surely then the guy was "bitchy" first?!

YANBU! Great response.

Although I have just realised that I comment EVERY single time I notice colleagues (male and female) have had a hair cut. They always seem chuffed and the response is always along the lines of ‘thanks for noticing’, but wondering if I’m being a bit unreasonable to comment now.

Absolutely spot-on response.

I’ve said similar. Also ‘Good job it’s on my head and not yours, then.’

Where do people get off commenting on the physical appearance of others? Do they imagine they’re perfect specimens. And it’s usually men.

Perfect response. Women are not here to look pretty for men.

@phishy I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving compliments, unless it’s for weight loss.

A little harsh, were they joking?
Fuck off cunt, now that’s a little harsh.
People should stop expecting females to be accommodating and nice.

I think it was perfect!
It’s always been one of my biggest regrets that I can think of these snappy replies, unfortunately 10 minutes too late.
Well done op perhaps he will learn not to comment on people’s appearance.

@phishy fine to be complimentary I think! I always do too. Or a nice outfit or whatever.

No

Noticing and/or complimenting is fine. Criticising is not.

OP, maybe you should have replied to the colleague who said it was harsh that he was but you didn’t take offence.

Paying a compliment is very different to saying it looked better before!

Sounds fine to me. The men in my office are so cautious of being offensive that they didn’t comment on me cutting my fairly long hair off to a short “above ears “cut. Quite frankly I wanted a few “Wow” comments. Your colleague will survive OP - his opinion is irrelevant on the matter but men are used to direct communication so I doubt he’s gone home to cry into his pillow.

I liked the response! Nice and succinct. His opinion on your aesthetic is not welcome.

He was incredibly rude.
You were within your right
The other colleague needs to give his/her head a wobble. And my response to - that's harsh, would have been 'how so?'

Trying to get this person to explain how you were harsh in light of an unprovoked criticism would have been interesting....