To have said this to bloke at work?

[VirginiaCreek]

I get my hair coloured every 6-8 weeks, it’s always a similar colour but I tend to go slightly darker in summer when my skin is a little darker.

New bloke at work - he’s been there around 4 weeks. I turned up to work yesterday and he said “have you dyed your hair?”, I replied “yes, I do every few weeks”. He then said “oh, I liked it better before, the lighter colour suited you”. I replied “that’s ok, I didn’t dye it to impress you”. I smiled as I said it - I wasn’t trying to be arsey.

another colleague then said “that was a little harsh!” ?? Was it??

Phew, thanks all!

Your reply was absolutely fine. Cheeky bugger, how dare he comment at all!!

Absolutely fine as part of a wider conversation in which you hopefully also compliment some of their work. Not fine if you don't have any other conversation with them other than "nice hair." Also you are an equal opportunities hair complimentor. If it was just the women then it would probably grate on me a bit.

Maybe a little harsh. He was only making a comment.

Your response was perfect.

His comment was harsh though. If someone has done something to their hair you don't drag then down by saying you preferred it before unless you are asked or are their stylist.

How so? I can't see any bitchiness

Perfect response. Who gives a shiny shit abut what he prefers.

He gave a review of your hair unsolicited! He was insulting, as he said, he preferred how it was before, implying he didn't like it now. If he was a seasoned hair stylist who l'd asked an opinion of, fine. Some random work dude, no. As he was rude, l think a smarting comment was appropriate.

Good on you!

It”s not a compliment, if someone has altered their appearance, to say they looked better before. It’s rude. OH’s response was perfect.

But why comment negatively ? What do you think her response should be ?
I’m curious to what you would have said

Your response was perfect, Op.

Thanks everyone. Just a couple of points …

I know people say “have you had your hair cut?” To each other all the time … that’s fine.

if they like it: have you had your hair cut? It looks lovely!

if they don’t like it: have you had your hair cut? I thought you looked different ☺️

but what got my back up was the way he asked me and then proceeded to give his opinion (negative) as though I should have factored in his approval when I chose to get it done! Who the hell does he think he is??

I don’t go out of my way to be bitchy or harsh, I just wanted him to realise that women do not change their style for the approval of men

If his comment had been "your hair looks lovely!" then your comment would be inappropriate.

But what he said was : do you dye your hair? (Rude!) I don't like it as much (extra rude!).

Your response was perfect.

However, perhaps your colleague is right and you should think about having a poll of the men in the office to see how the would like you to look and dress in the future to avoid further criticism...

CounsellorTroi was referring to my post, not OP’s!

Perfect response and neither harsh nor bitchy IMO

You just gently put him back in his box 👏

If you'd said 'fuck off, who asked you anyway' then that would be harsh or bitchy (again IMO)

Nope, perfect response. Your colleague needs to learn a thing or 2 from you if they think this is rude

Argh, I mean ShirleyJackson was referring to my post!

Oops, sorry!

He was rude, I don’t think you were.

WTAF?

Perfect response

Yeah bitchy if the man

Rude he tried to speak to you and you shot him down bet he thinks your a right cow now