To have said this to bloke at work?

[VirginiaCreek]

I get my hair coloured every 6-8 weeks, it’s always a similar colour but I tend to go slightly darker in summer when my skin is a little darker.

New bloke at work - he’s been there around 4 weeks. I turned up to work yesterday and he said “have you dyed your hair?”, I replied “yes, I do every few weeks”. He then said “oh, I liked it better before, the lighter colour suited you”. I replied “that’s ok, I didn’t dye it to impress you”. I smiled as I said it - I wasn’t trying to be arsey.

another colleague then said “that was a little harsh!” ?? Was it??

@motherofcatsandbears

Saying ‘that’s a great haircut!’ Is a compliment, saying ‘oh I preferred it before’ is an overly familiar comment to a colleague that also makes the bizarre assumption that she should be concerned about what he thinks.

The OP did a good job of teaching him about boundaries - that women’s appearances are not there for him to comment on and criticise.

This isn’t a new idea, making personal remarks has always been seen as rude. Not enough people have learned this, as the colleague who told the OP she was being harsh demonstrates.

Apropos of the comment by a previous poster, could someone please explain what "give your head a wobble" means?
I've seen it several times, never heard anyone say it in real life though.

When will men realise that our decisions about our body is NOT ABOUT THEM

Perfect response imo. Colleague who lacks social skills recently told me she didn’t like my hair when I tied it up, my response was that I really didn’t care what she thought. People are weird, it’s not difficult is it, nice comments are fine, negative ones are rude.

Woman response factually to random man’s unsolicited negative opinion, and that’s harsh?

if random men are hurt by the fact that women aren’t making choices about their own bodys’ for their aesthetic pleasure then they need to either adjust their unreasonable expectations, or, ya know, keep their unsolicited opinions to themselves.

Blimey I thought I was tactless, but even I know you only comment on colleagues' outfits/hairstyles in a positive way.

He was rude and deserved a sharp response.

Perfect response OP. What a dick your male colleague was

Is this thread just to get the cheers op?

Sure, “have you dyed your hair” and “I liked it better before” are such great compliments, aren’t they?!

Perfect response, especially if said with a smile!

A woman would never say that to a female colleague they'd known four weeks.

It's screams the "You're only here for my viewing pleasure" unacknowledged entitlement of some men.

Noticing is fine.

Deciding to be the fashion police is when it moves from fine to unreasonable.

Great response - who do these bloody men think they are?
A harsh response could have bee the Mumsnet classic:
"Off you fuck then cuntychops"

I'd love men who give unsolicited back handed compliments to think I'm a cow. I don't want to talk to those men.

Poor lad. I'm sure he'll cope. Just for future, if someone says it to you, it's not a compliment.

He gave his honest opinion of your hair, you gave your honest opinion of his opinion.

#notlikeothergirls 🙄

It just means start thinking properly. I always read it in Frank Butchers voice 🤣

See, I think the banter is perfect and funny but insisting the banter be framed as MALES VS. FEMALES : this I despair of. MN is the most misandrist place I know.

ps: MNers are always complaining about comments about their appearance they heard from other women !!

If a woman said it would you all same response 🙄

He was incredibly rude

Really?

I think if he said " I liked it better before. This colour is shit" could have been considered incredibly rude. What he actually said was mindly uncalled for.

If a woman said it would you be getting on like that ffs wise up

Not hardh and very quick witted of you. It’s also true. Why would he think his opinion mattered?

He was rude. It wasn't a compliment.
I have had similar comments and my stock response is "just as well that your opinion is neither desired nor required".
It hasn't made me very popular but I'd rather that than pander to people who think I should be trying harder to aesthetically please them.

This.

Anything other than a positive comment on your appearance is blood rude IMO.

he got what he deserved.

Talk shit, get hit