To have said this to bloke at work?

[VirginiaCreek]

I get my hair coloured every 6-8 weeks, it’s always a similar colour but I tend to go slightly darker in summer when my skin is a little darker.

New bloke at work - he’s been there around 4 weeks. I turned up to work yesterday and he said “have you dyed your hair?”, I replied “yes, I do every few weeks”. He then said “oh, I liked it better before, the lighter colour suited you”. I replied “that’s ok, I didn’t dye it to impress you”. I smiled as I said it - I wasn’t trying to be arsey.

another colleague then said “that was a little harsh!” ?? Was it??

Your reply was perfect.

Who gives a fuck if he liked your hair better before? Nobody asked his opinion.

Well then he's learned a good lesson hasn't he?

Nobody should be giving their unasked for, unwanted negative comments to strangers.

That's a fairly basic bit of knowledge about appropriate interactions.

This thread is just a brag. 🙂

Perhaps the new colleague will think twice before negatively commenting on someone else's appearance next time. When you are in a new job, you're supposed to be doing your best to make a good impression and get along with people. If this is his best, then what sort of comments will he start coming out with once he's been there a while?

People like this need to learn that their comments are neither welcome nor appropriate in the workplace.

If he was a friend or colleague you know well his remark would have been fine.

Venturing an opinion (and a negative one) to a colleague whom you barely know is bloody rude and entitled. Why the fuck should you care what he thinks about your hair.

Your response was spot on.

Fine (says the behaviour police) but being a cow about it IS harsh, which was the question.

My point is to give a new colleague the benefit of the doubt rather than chopping their legs off straightaway. If they do it repeatedly, I’m with you. If the OP was doing it in front of her friends and coworkers and feeling good about putting the new boy in his place, then not so much.

PublicServicesNotTaxCuts · Yesterday 07:25
Is it ok to say whatever you like about a man's appearance, especially at work?

No, but then most women don’t engage in that kind of behaviour. In general men are not judged or evaluated by their looks in the same way as women.

And quite frankly, women are getting sick of being viewed, evaluated, complimented, criticised, critiqued about our physical appearance.

C'mon OP. You know that you weren't being U.

I don't even quite believe that you genuinely thought you were!

Great response, op.

Great answer, OP.

I find it funny that some pps excuse his behaviour but are harsher to you.
You didn’t comment on his appearance.
He didn’t even say he thought it suited you better before. He said he liked it better. Either is uncalled for, but the latter is much worse.

YANBU. In fact I think it’s really good you said something polite but clear otherwise there could be more of these comments. Hopefully he got the message.

Not sure if it was harsh but it was a bit bitchy...

Yeah, the guy was a bitch, wasn't he?!

Unless he's a fashion editor who's about to put you on the front cover of Vogue, he should STFU.

Fine (says the behaviour police) but being a cow about it IS harsh.

Being a 'cow?' Now, now. Be kind.

I’m still waiting for the perfect moment to use this in real life

Yanbu

It’s not really appropriate to comments on peoples hair at work.
I think perhaps in some contexts where, you’ve worked there for a while and have built up more of a relationship with some colleagues. Then it’s ok to pay a compliment.

But saying what their preference of your hair colour is, to someone who you don’t really know.. NOT COOL

He deserved exactly what he got.