Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to consider the wife?

157 replies

straightoutofa · 15/06/2022 14:19

I know a married man through dog-walking, and I am attracted to him. I also suspect he is not in a sexual relationship with his wife. I would never make a move on him. If he were to make a move on me, I would tell him that I am interested in him, but that he would have to be single for me to take it any further. AIBU?

OP posts:
User2145738790 · 15/06/2022 14:22
Hmm
Hadalifeonce · 15/06/2022 14:23

If he is married, do not say anything to him.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 15/06/2022 14:23

YANBU but it doesn’t happen like in the movies OP. He won’t declare his undying love and give you the perfect opening to say your piece. He’ll convince you that he and his wife has separate bedrooms because she’s mad/whatever else, and he can’t leave her because of the kids, but you’re the only thing that keeps him going and as soon as Johnny is off to college he’ll be able to leave etc etc. And he’ll never leave. And you’ll get hung up on his will-he-won’t-he malarkey. That’d be my guess.

Notcoolright · 15/06/2022 14:24

😆 You are too kind.

Original poster
straightoutofa · 15/06/2022 14:24

Hadalifeonce · 15/06/2022 14:23

If he is married, do not say anything to him.

Do you mean nothing at all?

OP posts:
Wishimaywishimight · 15/06/2022 14:26

You are seriously asking if you are being unreasonable NOT to have an affair with a married man?

Yes, of course you are - sure he's there for the taking. Chances are he doesn't sleep with his wife, she doesn't understand him, he will fall madly in love with you (a connection he has never felt before no doubt), he will leave his wife for you and the two of you will live happily ever after. I reckon he's your soulmate.

HTH 🙄

EmeraldShamrock1 · 15/06/2022 14:28

Of course not.

Stop the flirting vibes between you both, you're overthinking the issue with his sex life unless he has confirmed it and if he has confirmed he is most likely lying.

"My wife doesn't understand me" or "My wife isn't interested in a sexual relationship, we live separately years" are usually used as excuses.

Original poster
straightoutofa · 15/06/2022 14:29

We don't flirt BTW.

OP posts:
Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 15/06/2022 14:30

How would you have any idea about the sex life of a man you don’t even talk to?!

Comedycook · 15/06/2022 14:30

What has he said that makes you think he's not in a sexual relationship with his wife?

TheSpottedZebra · 15/06/2022 14:31

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 15/06/2022 14:30

How would you have any idea about the sex life of a man you don’t even talk to?!

Wishy thinking.
And manifestation.

Itloggedmeoutagain · 15/06/2022 14:31

Can't say I've ever given anyone else an indication of my sex life let alone a fellow dog walker
Leave him alone
Find your own man, this one is taken

TeeBee · 15/06/2022 14:32

The only thing you would need to say is 'I think you've forgotten you're married'.

Original poster
straightoutofa · 15/06/2022 14:33

Comedycook · 15/06/2022 14:30

What has he said that makes you think he's not in a sexual relationship with his wife?

When the dog licked his face he jokingly said 'that's more than I get at home'.

OP posts:
mumto2teenagers · 15/06/2022 14:33

What makes you think he is not in a sexual relationship with his wife?

FallopianTubeTrain · 15/06/2022 14:33

You: 'You must leave your wife because I find you terribly alluring when you walk your dog next to mine'

Dog man: 'Erm... no, I'm good thanks, but if you could walk your dog way over there where you scare me a little less that would be great'

00100001 · 15/06/2022 14:34

"I also suspect he is not in a sexual relationship with his wife"

What makes you think that?

00100001 · 15/06/2022 14:34

straightoutofa · 15/06/2022 14:33

When the dog licked his face he jokingly said 'that's more than I get at home'.

Show quote history

Oh well, proof indeed....

FilterWash · 15/06/2022 14:34

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 15/06/2022 14:30

How would you have any idea about the sex life of a man you don’t even talk to?!

Perhaps she's seen him getting jiggy with the dog.

frazzledasarock · 15/06/2022 14:34

Why do you think you know about his sex life?

DenholmElliot1 · 15/06/2022 14:34

Yeah tell him. I'm sure he'll be more than pleased to know a horny, gagging for it, fellow dog-walker will shag him! You'll make his year lol.

Notcoolright · 15/06/2022 14:35

Gross

mumto2teenagers · 15/06/2022 14:35

When the dog licked his face he jokingly said 'that's more than I get at home'.

I wouldn't read anything into that and would just take it that he was joking.

balalake · 15/06/2022 14:35

Leave him alone, have respect for marriage. Does not stop you having polite conversation/greetings when you pass by each other during your respective dog walks.

LivingNextDoorToNorma · 15/06/2022 14:36

straightoutofa · 15/06/2022 14:33

When the dog licked his face he jokingly said 'that's more than I get at home'.

Show quote history

I think this was probably a joke. A bit like when something doesn’t have a price on in a shop, and a (annoying) customer says ‘does that mean it’s free’. No one actually believes it’s free, it’s just the go to reply.