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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how I don’t be bitter this weekend?

694 replies

Dancingmoonlight · 23/04/2022 07:39

I’ve recently become friends with a girl I used to work with, we only worked together for six months and were friendly then, but have been spending some time together recently. Going for the odd cocktail etc. she’s always been nice enough.

She asked if I’d be interested in going to Berlin with her for the weekend, and I said yes. So here we are now and my issue is, my friend turned up with no money hardly. She turned up at the airport with 60 euros and only 7 pound for a four day trip. We have no food included in our room.

I wouldn’t have minded but she’s recently been on a 3 day night out, meals out, cinema and whatever else. Now we are in Berlin and she can’t afford anything and I’m having to subsidise us. Even at the airport with a 4 hour wait, she couldn’t even afford a coffee so I have had to cover it.

Now we are in Berlin, and she’s also so angry. If I go into a shop to look at anything or, if we go to a bar, it’s obvious she’s uncomfortable as she can’t afford anything and then it puts me on the spot. She’s also being very sweary and angry! This trip was her idea and she’s been abroad to European cities before so she knows they’re pricey.

Weve got two more nights and I honestly don’t know how to stop feeling so awkward. I brought enough money (280 euros) but it’s now draining so fast.

OP posts:
britneyisfree · 25/04/2022 14:58

I am over invested in this thread, but I feel like op won't be back.

Also can I check, am I the only one who thought this was a man the whole way through? I was wondering how her boyfriend felt about her being away with another guy and all sorts didn't occur to me until yesterday that it doesn't say that any where in pp Blush

BobLemon · 25/04/2022 15:09

Ooooh, I really want to know how it ended too!

I thought the OP’s idea of loaning 35 euros was a really good idea.

rookiemere · 25/04/2022 15:13

@britneyisfree it literally says that the friend is female in the opening sentence of the opening post.

britneyisfree · 25/04/2022 15:17

@rookiemere I mean I thought op was a man

britneyisfree · 25/04/2022 15:18

Like it says she the whole way through but op doesn't mention their gender and I assumed op was a man for some reason! @rookiemere

rookiemere · 25/04/2022 15:22

Oh I see what you're saying @britneyisfree that would add another spin on it if OP
Was male.

tomatoandherbs · 25/04/2022 15:25

rookiemere · 25/04/2022 15:22

Oh I see what you're saying @britneyisfree that would add another spin on it if OP
Was male.

How so?

doadeer · 25/04/2022 15:26

OP tell us what has happened?!?!?!?

Roo4u · 25/04/2022 15:36

@MissPolliezDolly are you the scrounger

Roo4u · 25/04/2022 15:45

@tomatoandherbs we didn't speak for years and years

rookiemere · 25/04/2022 15:55

@tomatoandherbs if OP is male and CF female there may be expectations on her end that this will become a romantic relationship and as such she may feel that OP should pay for her.

Ultimately of course even if OP was male it shouldn't change any of the advice and the OP shouldn't be expected to pay for someone else.

tomatoandherbs · 25/04/2022 15:58

we don’t know the sexual preferences of either

britneyisfree · 25/04/2022 16:58

rookiemere · 25/04/2022 15:55

@tomatoandherbs if OP is male and CF female there may be expectations on her end that this will become a romantic relationship and as such she may feel that OP should pay for her.

Ultimately of course even if OP was male it shouldn't change any of the advice and the OP shouldn't be expected to pay for someone else.

Exactly

JingsMahBucket · 25/04/2022 17:03

Roo4u · 25/04/2022 08:49

This happened to me once and my family member took ill so I had to go in her bag for meds and her purse was rammed with money it was spilling out I made her pay up what she owed me

@Roo4u how on earth did she front that out? What was her excuse?

britneyisfree · 25/04/2022 17:18

rookiemere · 25/04/2022 15:55

@tomatoandherbs if OP is male and CF female there may be expectations on her end that this will become a romantic relationship and as such she may feel that OP should pay for her.

Ultimately of course even if OP was male it shouldn't change any of the advice and the OP shouldn't be expected to pay for someone else.

Exactly

DrManhattan · 25/04/2022 18:16

Will the op be back?

Dancingmoonlight · 25/04/2022 19:16

I haven’t disappeared, sorry! Just been trying to enjoy the holiday the best I can, so away from the phone and currently preparing for our flight.

She did accept the 35 euros without complaint but as predicted didn’t budget very well, so currently at the airport (flight delayed) complaining about needing a coffee etc.

im just exhausted at this point if I’m honest, we’ve been spending time together but it’s just sour, because there’s animosity in the air that can’t go now: I’ve so far not bought her a coffee and only myself one which is strong for me!

OP posts:
JacquelineCarlyle · 25/04/2022 19:34

Well done Op. Not long to go now. Sounds like she's truly shit with money & happy to sponge off other people at the same time!

stiritwithaknife · 25/04/2022 19:37

Good job, OP. She won't starve for lack of coffee. You're being reasonable.

Tune her out and get to thinking on the flight home how you will recoup these costs from her and how you will bring it up to her, because I doubt she will raise the issue herself.

Trudij123 · 25/04/2022 19:50

Hope you get it back OP, though I’ve got a feeling the “if you lend someone £100 and never see them again it was worth it” will end up coming into play….

gettingolderandgrumpy · 25/04/2022 20:40

I thought she got paid today? so she could use her card at the airport to buy herself and you a coffee . If she says she needs a coffee say that to her . Do not buy her anything!

Jellicoe · 25/04/2022 20:44

Have a safe flight OP x

Luckymummytoone · 25/04/2022 20:46

What a rubbish holiday :( I really hope you get the money back OP! Xx

WibblyWobblyJane · 25/04/2022 20:48

gettingolderandgrumpy · 25/04/2022 20:40

I thought she got paid today? so she could use her card at the airport to buy herself and you a coffee . If she says she needs a coffee say that to her . Do not buy her anything!

Excellent point! She should be buying OP a coffee.

GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 25/04/2022 20:52

Really hope you managed to enjoy your trip OP!