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Original poster

To ask how I don’t be bitter this weekend?

694 replies

Dancingmoonlight · 23/04/2022 07:39

I’ve recently become friends with a girl I used to work with, we only worked together for six months and were friendly then, but have been spending some time together recently. Going for the odd cocktail etc. she’s always been nice enough.

She asked if I’d be interested in going to Berlin with her for the weekend, and I said yes. So here we are now and my issue is, my friend turned up with no money hardly. She turned up at the airport with 60 euros and only 7 pound for a four day trip. We have no food included in our room.

I wouldn’t have minded but she’s recently been on a 3 day night out, meals out, cinema and whatever else. Now we are in Berlin and she can’t afford anything and I’m having to subsidise us. Even at the airport with a 4 hour wait, she couldn’t even afford a coffee so I have had to cover it.

Now we are in Berlin, and she’s also so angry. If I go into a shop to look at anything or, if we go to a bar, it’s obvious she’s uncomfortable as she can’t afford anything and then it puts me on the spot. She’s also being very sweary and angry! This trip was her idea and she’s been abroad to European cities before so she knows they’re pricey.

Weve got two more nights and I honestly don’t know how to stop feeling so awkward. I brought enough money (280 euros) but it’s now draining so fast.

OP posts:
RedJojo · 24/04/2022 23:59

I have a pretty good idea who the perfume is for!!!🙄

CelestiaNoctis · 25/04/2022 01:03

Are you sharing a room? Can you just tell her that you're not comfortable and ruining your holiday and you'll speak to her about it when you're home but you're going to spend the rest of the holiday alone.

Starlightstarbright1 · 25/04/2022 03:49

Gosh... how did it end up op?

Ahurricaneofjacarandas · 25/04/2022 04:09

OP this 'friend' sounds vile tbh and I'd be prepared to bet double what you've leant her that you won't get a penny of it back I'm afraid. Her attitude makes it clear that she was planning on mooching off you all along. If a reasonable person had gotten themselves into this situation they would've been mortified and borrowing the bare minimum from you not hinting at souvenirs and choosing expensive food. They would also have been honest with you and agreed on a loan or a plan of action prior to leaving. I don't know what's more embarrasing, that she'a so shamelessly used you or that you've let her. I think all you can do is make it clear that you want the money back and chalk it down to experience and end the friendship in the very likely scenario that you don't get it back x

Newtorunning · 25/04/2022 07:29

This is really odd and sounds a bit like a Chris Manby book! How old is your pal? She sounds super young.

rookiemere · 25/04/2022 07:33

GinIronic · 24/04/2022 23:11

I’m sure I have read this story before - CF friend taking advantage on a holiday.

Unfortunately that's because it seems to be a not uncommon scenario.

PoppyinCologne · 25/04/2022 07:38

She sounds ridiculous, sorry you have to deal with that, how disappointing.

But I have an idea with the food situation at least, pop into an Aldi supermarket, they are practically on every corner in Germany , stock up on snacks for the day bottles of water etc, bread and sandwich ingredients, yiu should be able to feed yourselves for the remaining time very well for around 20€ , so no worries with food, and spend the rest of the time walking around and enjoying the vibe of the city, lots to look at and appreciate without spending a cent. Can also buy some beers from aldi, but beer is very cheap in Germany so you guys can probably afford a treat out in the evening... hope the rest of the trip is ok for you, hugs :)

Topsyturveymam · 25/04/2022 07:39

It’s a difficult situation and I’ve been in a similar situation.
I went away with a friend abroad, I’d just got a bonus and said I’d treat her to a night out. This seemed to translate to me paying for everything.
I was guilt tripped on a daily basis, so passed across 100 euros. Now you’d think she’d be happy but I still had attitude all holiday and she spent the money on presents …so I was still going out by myself …as even with the money she started to say she couldn’t afford it as no money was left. Predictably never saw that money again. No longer a friend, some people are just users. I was a mug but felt awful with leaving her with nothing ..and I thought the money would stop the unpleasant guilt tripping and bad feeling. It didn’t!

Roo4u · 25/04/2022 08:49

This happened to me once and my family member took ill so I had to go in her bag for meds and her purse was rammed with money it was spilling out I made her pay up what she owed me

tomatoandherbs · 25/04/2022 08:56

PoppyinCologne · 25/04/2022 07:38

She sounds ridiculous, sorry you have to deal with that, how disappointing.

But I have an idea with the food situation at least, pop into an Aldi supermarket, they are practically on every corner in Germany , stock up on snacks for the day bottles of water etc, bread and sandwich ingredients, yiu should be able to feed yourselves for the remaining time very well for around 20€ , so no worries with food, and spend the rest of the time walking around and enjoying the vibe of the city, lots to look at and appreciate without spending a cent. Can also buy some beers from aldi, but beer is very cheap in Germany so you guys can probably afford a treat out in the evening... hope the rest of the trip is ok for you, hugs :)

For many people - a weekend away in a foreign city is about experiencing the dining scene

tomatoandherbs · 25/04/2022 08:58

Roo4u · 25/04/2022 08:49

This happened to me once and my family member took ill so I had to go in her bag for meds and her purse was rammed with money it was spilling out I made her pay up what she owed me

@Roo4u

how do you continue to have a relationship with someone who point blank lied to you and actually stole from you?

52andblue · 25/04/2022 09:10

I once had a lovely Villa holiday booked in Spain. All paid but boyfriend but couldn't go last min.I invited Aunt along. Said no accom costs but you'll need to pay own flight & food. Very clear. She jumped at it. Arrived with NO money.
'oh, well if you can afford all this you can afford a few bags of shopping yes?'
I paid. And of course she 'was bored' so we went to a few bars too. I was only 18, it was my 1st hol. She was 28 & had a good job & many hols behind her.
She never returned a penny. Never said thank you. Relationship never got better.

OP. I'd give her 10 E per day if you can afford it. But you'll never see it again & she won't be grateful.

Workinghardeveryday · 25/04/2022 09:35

Roo4u · 25/04/2022 08:49

This happened to me once and my family member took ill so I had to go in her bag for meds and her purse was rammed with money it was spilling out I made her pay up what she owed me

That is shocking!!!!!

maria57 · 25/04/2022 09:55

Absolute disgrace! Horrible to put you in this position! Who in the right mind suggests a weekend away and when you get there says they hardly have money?? She is taking the piss and has no shame! The fact that she is getting annoyed tells me she just took if for granted you would finance her whilst away! Had that done to me on a couple of nights out not a wkend away. She has ruined your wkend away by the sound of it...how could you now be the same person with her! You would never feel the same about her again! Get rid of her when you get home...I would sooner be on my own and have no one than have the lpiss taker around me.#

Giraffesandbottom · 25/04/2022 10:10

Waiting to hear what happened at the airport…

Pinkfluff76 · 25/04/2022 10:38

Surely she has a credit card? What a horrible person she is. Good luck

Aeroporto · 25/04/2022 10:51

Honestly what a disgrace this “friend” is! CF is an understatement and now you’re in a situation because you should do everything possible to ensure she pays back what she owes you whilst also (quite rightly) wanting to cut her off and out of you’re life completely. Keep us posted OP and fingers crossed she doesn’t take the piss even more by giving excuses, avoiding paying you back. It seems ridiculous and I’d never do it but the only way to embarrass her into realising could be a public social media outing 🤔😂 these people need outed!!

Snog · 25/04/2022 10:51

I can fill in the blank here with what I sincerely hope did NOT happen.

OP continued to pay for her "friend" and friend continued to be ungrateful and guilt trip OP and to create a bad atmosphere.

Friend gets to buy the expensive perfume either with a loan from OP or from her own funds that she had all along. Perfume is actually for herself not a gift to anyone else.

Friend uses the oysters and champagne bar at the airport and "treats" the OP to the same with the OP's money that has been loaned to her. "So they can finish on a high note and friend can show her magnanimity to the "selfish" behaviour of OP

Friend takes a taxi home from the airport, OP takes the bus.

"Friend" paints OP as the unreasonable villain of the piece to any mutual friends or acquaintances and claims she herself would never treat a friend in this way.

OP views money to friend as a loan but this is never repaid.

OP continues the "friendship" which consists of the friend continuing to use the OP. Because surely it would be mean to ditch a friend over this?

If OP finds herself in a similar situation in the future she repeats the same course of action and wonders why this kind of thing repeatedly happens to her yet not to other people.

Jellicoe · 25/04/2022 10:55

£280 in Berlin is considered a tight budget for one in Berlin and much less having to fork out for someone else! OP I hope you are now back home safely and pick better travel buddies in future

Itshothothot · 25/04/2022 11:33

What a dreadful trip!

Scooby5kids · 25/04/2022 11:46

I'm so invested in this thread. I can't wait bro find out if you get your money back, OP! I really hope so

tomatoandherbs · 25/04/2022 11:55

Snog · 25/04/2022 10:51

I can fill in the blank here with what I sincerely hope did NOT happen.

OP continued to pay for her "friend" and friend continued to be ungrateful and guilt trip OP and to create a bad atmosphere.

Friend gets to buy the expensive perfume either with a loan from OP or from her own funds that she had all along. Perfume is actually for herself not a gift to anyone else.

Friend uses the oysters and champagne bar at the airport and "treats" the OP to the same with the OP's money that has been loaned to her. "So they can finish on a high note and friend can show her magnanimity to the "selfish" behaviour of OP

Friend takes a taxi home from the airport, OP takes the bus.

"Friend" paints OP as the unreasonable villain of the piece to any mutual friends or acquaintances and claims she herself would never treat a friend in this way.

OP views money to friend as a loan but this is never repaid.

OP continues the "friendship" which consists of the friend continuing to use the OP. Because surely it would be mean to ditch a friend over this?

If OP finds herself in a similar situation in the future she repeats the same course of action and wonders why this kind of thing repeatedly happens to her yet not to other people.

Well yes
if the OP literally has no spine at all in any shape or fashion. None at all. To the extent that actually revels in lack of spine and corresponding Martydom

AnnieSaxophone · 25/04/2022 12:02

I desperately want to know what happened next - OP I’m SO sorry this happened to you. xxx

PoppyinCologne · 25/04/2022 14:09

Yes indeed , but with no money that's hardly possible is it,. thought we were trying to offer her advice/ ideas for making the most of the situation without money ?

TigerLilyTail · 25/04/2022 14:48

My guess is that the OP is already working on her Netflix deal or that the CFer has stabbed her to death and stolen her identity.