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AIBU?

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Original poster

DS spending far too long in the shower every single day

204 replies

goaskmum · 18/04/2022 22:21

With rising living costs I am concerned about the length of time my DS spends in the shower everyday, usually he spends about 15-20 minutes in it which imo is far too long, funny how me and the rest of our household are in and out within 5 minutes!

I have asked DS several times to reduce the time he spends in the shower and he does nothing about it, he shows a complete disregard to the increasing living costs.

This is more a WWYD - I have said to him that if he wants to spend that length of time in the shower he is going to have to contribute to the gas costs every month as I can’t keep up with it all , I am also considering switching off the boiler when the 5 minute mark passes.

I don’t really know how else I can deal with his selfishness!

OP posts:
crackingreward · 18/04/2022 22:21

How old is he?

Original poster
goaskmum · 18/04/2022 22:22

@crackingreward

How old is he?
22
OP posts:
Hardtofindafreename · 18/04/2022 22:23

Turn off the shower.

How old is he? Old enough to understand bills and expenses?

Mummumtum · 18/04/2022 22:24

He’s probably having a wank

MintheMiddle · 18/04/2022 22:25

Second the previous comment about him having a wank.

It's pretty common.

Hont1986 · 18/04/2022 22:26

Five minutes is a pretty fast shower I think. Twenty is too long but I thought from the title you were going to say 30 or more.

greenlynx · 18/04/2022 22:29

He’s old enough to understand. Did he tell by the way why it takes him so long? I would turn off something but would definitely warn him in advance about new rules.
Does he contribute towards living costs?

Seriously79 · 18/04/2022 22:29

My son is like this, but he's 13. I start banging on the door if i think he's been in there too long.

Rewritethestars1 · 18/04/2022 22:29

Presumably at 22 he is contributing financially so I'd just up this by however much you think hes using for his extra gas use. However, 5 minutes us a short shower. Id say 10 is average

Sausagis · 18/04/2022 22:30

I bought a digital 10 minute timer after my teen emptied the hot water tank.

arethereanyleftatall · 18/04/2022 22:32

Does he currently have to contribute to costs? If so, how much? If not, why not?

autumnboys · 18/04/2022 22:33

I spend my mornings banging on the bathroom door to encourage my teenagers along. No idea what takes so long (we’ll, this thread has given me some idea, albeit unwelcome Confused )

Tanfastic · 18/04/2022 22:38

My 14 yr old is the same. I'm guessing he's not just washing I there though Hmm. Ive resorted to banging on the door but he seems to have got the message now.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 18/04/2022 22:41

Run the cold tap downstairs or keep flushing toilets after 10 minutes? Up his rent as contribution to bills?

NerrSnerr · 18/04/2022 22:42

You need to up his rent so he can contribute fairly.

Cocomarine · 18/04/2022 22:43

Let him stay in as long as he likes if no-one is waiting, but increase his board money.

ENoeuf · 18/04/2022 22:46

A ten minute shower?? Blimey mine are restricted to four and we have a shower timer. I would be banging the door at ten and furious at 20. We are on meter and neither adult dc pays rent and that was a huge mistake.

AledsiPad · 18/04/2022 22:48

When DS1 got into this habit and absolutely refused to listen to polite requests to limit his time, I started to turn the shower off at the fuse downstairs.

Only did it about 3 times. He’s never in there more than 5-7 mins now. Grin

ManateeFair · 18/04/2022 22:56

usually he spends about 15-20 minutes in it which imo is far too long, funny how me and the rest of our household are in and out within 5 minutes!

I don’t think it requires much thought to work out why a 22-year-old lad might be spending a bit of extra time in the shower, does it? Hmm

TracyMosby · 18/04/2022 22:59

22?! Come on op. He is taking the piss.

Id have already been switching off the hot water long before this point. And is he refuses to contribute to bills too?

Are you scared of him?

SnowRoses · 18/04/2022 23:03

Having a wank, 100%

Movingsoon21 · 18/04/2022 23:03

Gosh this is so depressing. Timed showers? Sounds like prison! Just ask him for a bit more board money.

Cyw2018 · 18/04/2022 23:07

The shower is my private relaxing/thinking/meditative space, rather than simply a means to get clean. I would give up many other things way before reducing my daily shower time.

Maybe this is the case for your son, but not the rest of your family. When I was at home my parents would shut the hot water off when they deemed I'd been in the shower for too long (they thought it was a hilarious thing to do), despite there being no financial issues (DF earning 6 figure salary 25 years ago). I found it distressing and cruel, and remember it vividly.

OP are you cutting back on the things that are good for your mental health yet due to rising costs?

Bagelsandbrie · 18/04/2022 23:07

Well he either pays more rent or you start turning the electric off….!

NothingIsWrong · 18/04/2022 23:08

@Movingsoon21

Gosh this is so depressing. Timed showers? Sounds like prison! Just ask him for a bit more board money.
How do you suggest we cope with insane price rises then? We have a 4min shower timer and my teens are expected to use it and they know why as well.