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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS spending far too long in the shower every single day

204 replies

goaskmum · 18/04/2022 22:21

With rising living costs I am concerned about the length of time my DS spends in the shower everyday, usually he spends about 15-20 minutes in it which imo is far too long, funny how me and the rest of our household are in and out within 5 minutes!

I have asked DS several times to reduce the time he spends in the shower and he does nothing about it, he shows a complete disregard to the increasing living costs.

This is more a WWYD - I have said to him that if he wants to spend that length of time in the shower he is going to have to contribute to the gas costs every month as I can’t keep up with it all , I am also considering switching off the boiler when the 5 minute mark passes.

I don’t really know how else I can deal with his selfishness!

OP posts:
ToxicShock · 19/04/2022 00:18

I think it's fair enough to limit the time considering rising costs and climate change but I don't think twenty minutes is insanely long. I would love to shower for twenty minutes even without a wank.Wink

CandyLeBonBon · 19/04/2022 00:23

My 20 y/o is the same op. I'm banging in the door after 10 minutes. Bills are going up so a 20/30 minute shower is a luxury I can't afford.

It's also insanely wasteful and in the current era of climate change I find it really surprising that there are as many people on here as there are, acting like it's weird to restrict use of gas and water to do our bit towards being more eco friendly!

HappyFlaps · 19/04/2022 00:26

I would also assume he's pulling one off in there...

Wrinklefree · 19/04/2022 00:29

My 13 year old can spend ages in the shower, After around 10 minutes I normally turn the temperature down from the boiler for the hot water, he soon finishes.

ScaldedBy · 19/04/2022 00:32

Here it's quick shower if you want to hang around in there for a long time have a bath!! I'm always yelling out to the showerer that they've been in long enough (usually the youngest the others are all adults and are in and out).

redbigbananafeet · 19/04/2022 00:33

@Choux

According to this page a 20 minute shower costs about 68p in water and energy. So put his board up by £20 a month and it should be covered.

www.omnicalculator.com/everyday-life/shower-cost

Thank you, I have worked out my gas heading with just the radiators in that room on costs about 70p an hour. Always helpful to hear what cost what. X
redbigbananafeet · 19/04/2022 00:34

@CandyLeBonBon

My 20 y/o is the same op. I'm banging in the door after 10 minutes. Bills are going up so a 20/30 minute shower is a luxury I can't afford.

It's also insanely wasteful and in the current era of climate change I find it really surprising that there are as many people on here as there are, acting like it's weird to restrict use of gas and water to do our bit towards being more eco friendly!

But where would you rather he cracked one off?
RussianSpy101 · 19/04/2022 00:45

@Movingsoon21 @Cyw2018 I’m with you; turning off the water is really shit.

expat101 · 19/04/2022 00:46

You used to be able to buy wall mounted sand timers to put in showers. Try having a google in your area as to finding one for the length of time you want people to shower to.

Might be easier than having the wank discussion...

Reigateforever · 19/04/2022 00:47

One minute to soak body all over, turn off water, shampoo and soap body, turn on water to rinse off two or three minutes, job done.
If he wants to have a rain forest shower tell him to go to the equator.

RussianSpy101 · 19/04/2022 00:49

@Reigateforever you turn off the shower whilst you’re in to wash? You have got to be taking the piss.

AuntTwacky · 19/04/2022 00:54

@Mummumtum

He’s probably having a wank
20 min wank?!
TigerLilyTail · 19/04/2022 01:24

I agree with asking him to pay an extra 20 pounds a month, if he can afford it and let it go.

There's no way I could wash my hair, shave, etc. in just 5 minutes. It's miserable.

Fearitcatches · 19/04/2022 01:30

There is absolutely no way I could wash and condition my hair in 5 minutes.
I’m assuming that money is tight from your post so fair enough to bang on the door after 15 minutes or to say can you contribute the £20 a month it costs but to characterise it as ‘selfishness’ seems very unfair. He’s having a long shower it’s not a moral failing.

CJsGoldfish · 19/04/2022 01:43

Not something I could get upset over 🙄

What does the extra cost add up to? Does every one else monitor their water usage? ie, rinsing that cup for a minute too long, running the water whilst it heats up etc?

Oh, and if someone turned off the boiler while I would be so unimpressed. Petty and nasty.

ZealAndArdour · 19/04/2022 01:44

20 min wank?!

He’s probably put off by his mum stood outside the bathroom door telling him to hurry up.

bellebeautifu1 · 19/04/2022 02:01

@Fearitcatches

There is absolutely no way I could wash and condition my hair in 5 minutes. I’m assuming that money is tight from your post so fair enough to bang on the door after 15 minutes or to say can you contribute the £20 a month it costs but to characterise it as ‘selfishness’ seems very unfair. He’s having a long shower it’s not a moral failing.
I lived in Australia many years ago, it is fairly normal over there to have five minuet showers due to droughts, you learn to be fast in washing your hair.
bonfireheart · 19/04/2022 02:08

Am sure his mum knocking loudly on the door would stop any wanking, not prolong it for 20 mins!

avamiah · 19/04/2022 02:18

You haven’t got a smart metre have you as they tell you how much your shower/ bath has just cost.😬

I’m in two minds about getting one fitted to be honest as I don’t want to know how much my bath has just cost me.

SpidersAreShitheads · 19/04/2022 02:33

@Choux

According to this page a 20 minute shower costs about 68p in water and energy. So put his board up by £20 a month and it should be covered.

www.omnicalculator.com/everyday-life/shower-cost

That’s really useful info @Choux.

Whack his rent up by £20 a month OP and he can enjoy his shower wanks in peace.

I can’t imagine anything more miserable than someone banging on the door when I’m trying to have a nice relaxing shower. If there are financial concerns fair enough, but it’s easy to work out the cost of the shower and in this case the OP can just charge her son accordingly. It’s not a lot for him to cough up and then he can enjoy a bit of uninterrupted private time and OP can relax knowing the costs are covered. Win/win.

Kanaloa · 19/04/2022 02:36

@ENoeuf

A ten minute shower?? Blimey mine are restricted to four and we have a shower timer. I would be banging the door at ten and furious at 20. We are on meter and neither adult dc pays rent and that was a huge mistake.
That sounds utterly miserable. Four minute showers.
ENoeuf · 19/04/2022 02:50

And 20 minutes sounds utterly wasteful. So good job both of us are in different households 😂

avamiah · 19/04/2022 02:56

I can spend 20 mins and longer in the bath but not in a shower,.

It’s hair washed and conditioned and a quick body scrub on and facial scrub then rinse off and out.

Less than 10 mins.

LBFseBrom · 19/04/2022 03:08

I don't think 15-20 minutes in the shower is too long and monitoring your son's shower time is just not on. Be glad he is hygienic and thorough. I bet his hair is lovely and he smells nice.

Is having a shower that expensive in the scheme of things?

RustyShackleford3 · 19/04/2022 03:13

I agree with others saying to up his rent. That way you can just stop worrying about it and it doesn't need to cause further stress.

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