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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS spending far too long in the shower every single day

204 replies

goaskmum · 18/04/2022 22:21

With rising living costs I am concerned about the length of time my DS spends in the shower everyday, usually he spends about 15-20 minutes in it which imo is far too long, funny how me and the rest of our household are in and out within 5 minutes!

I have asked DS several times to reduce the time he spends in the shower and he does nothing about it, he shows a complete disregard to the increasing living costs.

This is more a WWYD - I have said to him that if he wants to spend that length of time in the shower he is going to have to contribute to the gas costs every month as I can’t keep up with it all , I am also considering switching off the boiler when the 5 minute mark passes.

I don’t really know how else I can deal with his selfishness!

OP posts:
Benjispruce4 · 19/04/2022 07:57

Get a timer that switches shower off after a set time.

FourTeaFallOut · 19/04/2022 07:59

Mil came to visit once and DH had been in the shower a while, she walked up to the kitchen tap and started running the cold water full blast for no reason, then turned it off, then turned it full blast again, then off. DH came out grumbling within seconds. So this, I expect, was a well practised energy saving method in her household. ShockGrin

stuntbubbles · 19/04/2022 08:01

@EveningOverRooftops

Tell him you know he’s having a wank…he’ll soon speed up as he won’t want you to think he’s doing that 🤣
I was going to suggest playing some loud BAM CHICKA BOW-WOW type music through the door.

I’m amazed at the responses saying 5 mins is fast! We have one of those shower egg timers to ensure we take short showers: conserving water and energy. Leisurely showers are archaic.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 19/04/2022 08:03

@ENoeuf

A ten minute shower?? Blimey mine are restricted to four and we have a shower timer. I would be banging the door at ten and furious at 20. We are on meter and neither adult dc pays rent and that was a huge mistake.
How on earth do you have a shower in 4 minutes?!? Mine are around 10 minutes, longer if I need to wash my hair or shave my legs!
Whenyougonnalearn · 19/04/2022 08:04

@FourTeaFallOut

Mil came to visit once and DH had been in the shower a while, she walked up to the kitchen tap and started running the cold water full blast for no reason, then turned it off, then turned it full blast again, then off. DH came out grumbling within seconds. So this, I expect, was a well practised energy saving method in her household. ShockGrin
But this time - it’s you andDH paying for it Not her That seems quite rude actually
macaronipenguinn · 19/04/2022 08:07

@Choux

According to this page a 20 minute shower costs about 68p in water and energy. So put his board up by £20 a month and it should be covered.

www.omnicalculator.com/everyday-life/shower-cost

Expensive wank
FourTeaFallOut · 19/04/2022 08:10

Oh yeah, for sure, she is a little rude. It was a lifetime ago now and I could have maxed out a thread with mil angst back then. But he was taking the micky as we were all sat around waiting to go out, it seems funnier now than it did then.

mogsrus · 19/04/2022 08:13

Turn the water stat off at the boiler while he in it, nothing like a nice cold shower

FourTeaFallOut · 19/04/2022 08:18

That omnicalculator has electricity set at 12p/kWh. You can double that £20 and add a bit more for today's rates.

ENoeuf · 19/04/2022 08:19

I wonder if people are actually timing there ten minutes showers or guessing? Four minutes is actually quite long to have the water running. I know whenever I do those ‘guess when a minute is up’ things (a game-show with Stephen M?) i get it wrong.

Menora · 19/04/2022 08:21

My DD’s also spend ages in the shower. I asked them to just be mindful of the time but I wouldn’t force them out of it. DD1 pays rent

Hallyup89 · 19/04/2022 08:33

Jeez, he's an adult and likely not doing what everyone is suggesting. Why can't a bloke enjoy a shower without a wank being involved?! Ask him for the money. He's old enough to understand bills have increased and old enough to pay for his share.

Failing that, set the fire alarm off.

BellePeppa · 19/04/2022 08:34

@Movingsoon21

Gosh this is so depressing. Timed showers? Sounds like prison! Just ask him for a bit more board money.
I don’t agree it depressing, over long showers are annoying. My son also has a habit of having really long showers and I’ve told him to cut them back because of the high price rises. He said ok and he’s doing it.
Svara · 19/04/2022 08:40

@ENoeuf

I wonder if people are actually timing there ten minutes showers or guessing? Four minutes is actually quite long to have the water running. I know whenever I do those ‘guess when a minute is up’ things (a game-show with Stephen M?) i get it wrong.
Yes, I'd have guessed my non hair wash showers were 4 minutes and they were two. Four minutes is plenty of time to wash short hair too and I don't shave in the shower.
Mirrorball2022 · 19/04/2022 08:41

My partner I was in the shower while reading this thread. He had the water running for 9 minutes. He is a generally very clean person and washes hair, face and everything in between in that time every time he showers. I always feel like he is in the shower for ages but ten mins average isnt long after all.

I’m a quick shower type fully washed and rinsed in under 5 minutes for just a body shower. If I’m hair washing 3 times a week and /or shaving my legs it’s about ten minutes. I do have a salt bath once/twice a week for muscle aches so it all evens out. We are generally low energy users anyway.

Twenty/thirty minute showers daily seem excessive in a time when energy usage is so expensive and climate change is becoming more real and starting to bite.

As for the @goaskmum son I would charge him m for the extra long showers if he insists on, at 22 he needs to understand the costs of bills etc for when he moves out!

mycatisannoying · 19/04/2022 08:45

These poor teens having to shower to a 4 min timer!
Hope they don't have long hair.

getsomehelp · 19/04/2022 08:47

Surely, he's not exfoliating/ shaving/ doing super hair treatments, like many of the posters here though !
His time actually washing/shampooing/rinsing can only take 5 mins max.

I turn off the water whilst doing the soaping. But we have a boiler that only heats water at night(cheap rate) so the hot water is finite, if we all sit under the hot shower brushing teeth, & contemplating the meaning if life, the last people to shower (me) get a cold bastard shower.

The only way for you to put an end to this is explain you cant afford it, therefore if he must wank in the shower he will gave to pay x per month for water & gas.

NightmareSlashDelightful · 19/04/2022 09:05

@mycatisannoying

These poor teens having to shower to a 4 min timer! Hope they don't have long hair.
Or indeed any desire for a semblance of autonomy over their own lives.
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 19/04/2022 09:09

If 4 people have 20 minute showers, that's 80minutes.

Say they all had to leave by 8am, realistically last person would need to be out by 7.30 to allow time for drying, dressing etc.

So first person would need to be up at 6am.

Shorten it to 10 minutes. First shower could start around 6.45.

If its the only toilet in the house its even more selfish.

user1477391263 · 19/04/2022 09:10

You don't need a constantly running shower to shave your legs---shower briefly and fill a small container of water. Stop, soap up your legs and shave, dipping your razor in the container every few strokes to clean it. Then hose off with the shower at the end.

Hair, similar. Shower briefly and stop to work shampoo/conditioner through your hair, then turn the shower back on to rinse.

Some of you lot need to try living in a place without endless water supplies.

BarbaraofSeville · 19/04/2022 09:14

They can spend as much time as they like wasting water when they're paying their own bills.

A daily 4 minute shower isn't a hardship FFS and some families simply don't have the money for unlimited hot water. Perhaps they would like the automony of choosing what other essential or luxury they would like to give up to free up money for longer showers?

Their parents' generation was more likely to have had one or two baths a week in shared water, rather than the luxury of letting as much hot water as they like run down the drain.

pedropony76 · 19/04/2022 09:15

Gosh this is so depressing. Timed showers? Sounds like prison!

Honestly!! A timer with 4 minutes on? What the hell is that about?! I personally don’t think a 20min shower is long at all but surely you can come to a compromise and say after 10mins you’ll be turning the hot water off or however it works in your house

Norgie · 19/04/2022 09:16

I can honestly say that I've never noticed how long anyone has been in the shower in my home.
I don't even know how long I spend in the shower myself, it could be anything from two minutes to ten.

Soupercat · 19/04/2022 09:18

@Mummumtum

He’s probably having a wank
This
Whenyougonnalearn · 19/04/2022 09:26

@Norgie

I can honestly say that I've never noticed how long anyone has been in the shower in my home. I don't even know how long I spend in the shower myself, it could be anything from two minutes to ten.
Probably because all within a very “normal” range

My son once went in after rugby at 11

I went to do the laundry 45 mins later and he was still in

Then you’d notice!