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Original poster

DS spending far too long in the shower every single day

204 replies

goaskmum · 18/04/2022 22:21

With rising living costs I am concerned about the length of time my DS spends in the shower everyday, usually he spends about 15-20 minutes in it which imo is far too long, funny how me and the rest of our household are in and out within 5 minutes!

I have asked DS several times to reduce the time he spends in the shower and he does nothing about it, he shows a complete disregard to the increasing living costs.

This is more a WWYD - I have said to him that if he wants to spend that length of time in the shower he is going to have to contribute to the gas costs every month as I can’t keep up with it all , I am also considering switching off the boiler when the 5 minute mark passes.

I don’t really know how else I can deal with his selfishness!

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 19/04/2022 06:21

@Lorw

How does anyone possibly wash their hair (shampoo&condition), shave legs etc and wash themselves in 5 minutes. I have at least a 10 minute daily shower, why don’t you just ask him to pay more towards rising costs? Easter Grin
I don't wash my hair or shave my legs every day and I switch the shower off when shaving my legs.
Spinakker · 19/04/2022 06:23

Theres a switch that turns our shower off near the hot water tank in my bedroom. Ive had to turn it off from here when my toddler has refused to let me turn off the shower in the bathroom! Maybe you have something similar!?

StopStartStop · 19/04/2022 06:23

@Mummumtum

He’s probably having a wank
My first thought.
Cyw2018 · 19/04/2022 06:23

@OfstedOffred

* Maybe this is the case for your son, but not the rest of your family. When I was at home my parents would shut the hot water off when they deemed I'd been in the shower for too long (they thought it was a hilarious thing to do), despite there being no financial issues (DF earning 6 figure salary 25 years ago). I found it distressing and cruel, and remember it vividly.*

You could have just moved out and paid your own way, then you can spend as long as you want in the shower.

I did move out at 18, and whilst OP son is 22, they've hardly had a normal 2 years with the normal opportunities that put them in a position to move out and live independently. So yeah, punish them a bit more, that'll help them realise the errors of their ways I'm sure.
CarryonCovid · 19/04/2022 06:25

People in their 40s and 50s are far less likely to be so profligate with hot water because we grew up with very restricted hot water and parents who lived in fear of the immersion heater being left on

This is nonsense I am 46 born in 76. No one ever restricted my use of hot waterit was 1998 when I was 22 not 1958.

Mrsmozza123 · 19/04/2022 06:27

@Mummumtum definitely wanking. 😂 Does he have enough privacy otherwise?

At 22 it’s reasonable to expect him to contribute to living costs regardless of him wanking in the shower or not.

RampantIvy · 19/04/2022 06:30

It isn't nonsense @CarryonCovid. I am 63. The hot water tank only held so much water and when it was gone it was gone as it was only on twice a day. We didn't have the boiler on all day to keep water hot.

I remember having a cold bath on my wedding day because my sister had used all the hot water.

Isitsixoclockalready · 19/04/2022 06:34

@Choux

According to this page a 20 minute shower costs about 68p in water and energy. So put his board up by £20 a month and it should be covered.

www.omnicalculator.com/everyday-life/shower-cost

I assume that takes the latest rises into account?
Whenyougonnalearn · 19/04/2022 06:50

My DS be same (teen).

I said 10 min

Anything extra and it’s £1 a minute

He didn’t believe me. He got out the shower. I showed him timer… 16 mins

He has to give me £6

Last time he’s stayed in longer than 10mins

WonderfulYou · 19/04/2022 06:52

What I find amusing about MN is the competitiveness.

There’s another thread running about how often children should shower/bathe and some posters have said at least once a day.
There’s a competitiveness to prove who is the cleanest.

Here we have the opposite where posters are saying 5 mins, 4 mins and I can guarantee it’ll get less and less.
Here there’s a competitiveness to prove who’s the most thrifty.

pumpkinpie01 · 19/04/2022 06:57

My ds24 would regularly have 40 minute showers , I was constantly banging on the door telling him to get out. He left home just after the energy bills went up , perfect timing 😀

Sitdownplease · 19/04/2022 07:07

@WonderfulYou

What I find amusing about MN is the competitiveness.

There’s another thread running about how often children should shower/bathe and some posters have said at least once a day.
There’s a competitiveness to prove who is the cleanest.

Here we have the opposite where posters are saying 5 mins, 4 mins and I can guarantee it’ll get less and less.
Here there’s a competitiveness to prove who’s the most thrifty.

It’s a bit like the threads about how often you use your washing machine and how early you put your Christmas tree up.
LoveSpringDaffs · 19/04/2022 07:07

@ScaldedBy

Here it's quick shower if you want to hang around in there for a long time have a bath!! I'm always yelling out to the showerer that they've been in long enough (usually the youngest the others are all adults and are in and out).
That's ridiculous. Having a shower is vastly different to having a bath! And unless you only want a few inches of water in the bath having a 'long' shower still doesn't use as much water or electricity.
LongLiveThyKing · 19/04/2022 07:10

Tbh I used to hate this when I lived with my parents. I used to shower twice a week and turn off the shower between tasks eg when I shaved and when I soaped up and still my mother would complain I was taking too long and turn off the boiler. I physically couldn’t go faster or limit my showers further and it was miserable! I spent most of the time feeling disgusting, unclean and hairy all because she would get extremely angry every time I showered! I think it’s because she probably thought I was wanking in the shower when I definitely was not and it might be harmful to assume anyone taking a long shower is doing so because of that.

I would say limit him to no less than ten minutes, which is surely enough for a male as they have far less hair to wash and to shave but I’m with other posters in that turning off the shower actually feels quite abusive.

Svara · 19/04/2022 07:10

Mine is about two minutes if I'm just washing, four for a hair wash (short hair). 15-20 is crazy with current energy prices.

QuinkWashable · 19/04/2022 07:12

When I was a kid my parents would turn off the electric to the shower if we were taking too long - I wasn't traumatised by it (I was just a teenager not thinking about energy bills)

These days we have a tank of hot water, and I'm happy to re-heat it, but if it's used up there's no instant hot, so there's a natural end to a shower (plus the rest of us yelling that now we can't have a shower, so some peer pressure :D).

If it's bills you're worried about, then charge him. If it's occupying the bathroom then he's going to have to belt up and be less self-absorbed (possibly easier said than done).

User7493268965 · 19/04/2022 07:12

I suppose it depends on if you enjoy a shower, obviously it is worth paying for if you do and this applies to OP's DS as well, if you don't then in and out quick as it is a waste of money.

NotMyselfWithoutCoffee · 19/04/2022 07:16

I'd say I take about between 5-10 minutes
Only 20-30 if I'm shaving everything.
5 minutes is a little extreme, need time to soap and condition, wash your hair and Rinse everything off.

User48751490 · 19/04/2022 07:17

@autumnboys

I spend my mornings banging on the bathroom door to encourage my teenagers along. No idea what takes so long (we’ll, this thread has given me some idea, albeit unwelcome Confused )
Haha this could have been myself 🤣 I get fed up repeating myself "HURRY UP."
GettinPiggyWithIt · 19/04/2022 07:22

I do it alll in under five minutes - anything more than that is A waste

I had a 9yo old needs a long shower at night to help him sleep - he’s firmly capped at ten minutes

It’s not about the cost - we are very comfortable but it’s about the bloody waste of such a precious resource - I can stand seeing water wasted. I too left over water from the dinner table into plants etc. We all
Need to waste less.

Mango101 · 19/04/2022 07:28

Gosh, reading some of these posts, the poor planet really has no chance !

irishfarmer · 19/04/2022 07:29

I'm in and out in less than 5 mins. DH on the other hand likes 20 mins. Not wanking I often go in to ask him things! He just says it relaxes him, also after a day on the farm he needs it!!

But my DH pays bills, does your DS? Ask him to pay more towards bills.

tabbycatstripy · 19/04/2022 07:33

He’s 22. He’s old enough to understand rising costs and adjust either his behaviour, or his contribution.

Either that or get his own flat and meditate in the shower to his heart’s content.

wtfwasthatmate · 19/04/2022 07:47

I don't even turn on the shower. I collect the dregs of the dishwashing from the sink and tip that over myself. I'm in Australia and it's all we know. Occasionally the rains come in and I run outside into the dust and have a rain shower.

I have a 20 min shower sans wank

EveningOverRooftops · 19/04/2022 07:49

Tell him you know he’s having a wank…he’ll soon speed up as he won’t want you to think he’s doing that 🤣